4 week old not feeding very well, but alert. Wwyd?

[Needsomewine]

I've had several trails and tribulations trying to get bf established but we've had a good few days and dd2 has started to put on weight. However, yesterday she didn't have a great feed all day but didn't really think about it until the evening. In the end, I topped her up but she hardly had 1oz. In the night she fussed and fussed at the breast so I expressed and gave her ebm instead. But she only took very small amounts- 1oz at 6am and 2oz at 9am. She is normally v eager to drink a from a bottle but seems lack lustre at the mo. When bf, she doesnt seem to have the energy and falls asleep more quickly. Also she settled v easily in her basket overnight, from awake, she is not normally that easy!! Do you think I should keep an eye for a while or see the HV/gp?

This is within normal. In a healthy baby it is not an issue. I don't know - maybe there is other stuff going on, and of course your HV has seen your baby.

But on the basis of what you have written here, I would say that with your difficult start, it prob makes sense for your HV to suggest weighing more often than the usual 'no more than every four weeks' which is the norm - but you know, weighing does not make babies put on weight :) Weighing is just a way for the HV to see you and your baby, to ensure your baby is thriving and, I suppose, to see she continues to gain weight.

But nothing you say makes me think bf is not working for your baby.

Seems you are really, really, really focussed on weight, needsomewine, and nothing convinces you all is well unless you see those figures on the scales....can you find another HV who would understand this and help you become less focussed and more able to accept what you see with your own eyes about your dd's well-being?

if it helps any ihave a friend who had the same issue, with her first two she ended up combination feeding then totally bottle feeding which she was gutted about. so with no 3 she stuck to her guns and her little man never gained more than 4oz a week, he got long tho and very mobile, he is now 11mths and gorgeous and still bfed on demand and a very happy little chap.

she had her latch checked, weigh ins etc allsorts, eventually they got a lactation specialist to come and see her and watch her feed, she said baby was fine just petite and the hv then left her alone :)

if you want you can add me on fb and i could point her in your direction?

Dd is doing great, I feel. She seems very alert and settled most of the time, no big screaming sessions that aren't settled by feeding her. In-between my stressy days I am having a lovely time with her. I feel the feeding is going ok and she now wakes for night feeds and doesn't sleep longer than 4 hrs at night. It's for this reason that I'm upset about her weight. I thought she would have gained more weight. She is growing out of clothes etc. read this and ignore the bit about being upset about her weight, she is clearly a happy little baby and doing well!!

i think you need to give yourself a break and find a more supportive hv xxx

Tiktok- I do know all is well with dd and maybe I'd feel differently if she was dropping down higher centiles. I definitely feel dd should be gaining more weight though. So whilst I desperately want to breastfeed, I don't want to breastfeed desperately enough to carry on if she only puts on 4 oz a week. At this rate, she'll be 17 weeks before she's 10lb. I don't think that's particularly healthy but maybe that is just me. I don't think my HV is particularly to blame.

If you know all is well, why do you want her to gain weight faster, though? You can't think all is well if you think there is something 'wrong' with her weight....and calculating 12 weeks ahead. It's uncomfortable to be conflicted, which is why I wondered if a different HV might help you work out what you want to do. Hope things get better for you.

Thank you tiktok, I hope so too!

To clarify, I know all is well with dd's development. I am less sure that all is well with bf though am pretty confident im doing all I can. To answer your question tiktok, I want her to gain weight faster because I don't want her to sink to the bottom of the chart and I think most mums reading this would feel the same. It is very different if your baby isn't gaining fast and they're near the top of the chart. Please don't make me sound irrational for wanting this because I don't think I am.

This morning I have been to the bf support group and cried my eyes out lol! All confirmed that I am doing the right things. Only thing I can do now is go with my gut instinct. Firstly, not to feed her more than 3 hourly. She just isn't interested. Secondly I'm going to ditch the switch feeding and go back to what I did with dd1- if she falls asleep on one boob, wake her up and put her back on the same one to ensure she gets the hind milk. We'll see how we go...

:(

No, I don't think you are 'irrational' but I do think you are conflicted - and there is a difference.

You are believing two mutually-contradictory things - i) all is well with your dd and she is thriving and just fine ii) all is not well with your daughter because she is not getting enough to eat.

However, this is not 'irrational' because you are looking ahead - you are thinking 'well, she's ok now, but what happens if she only weighs X lbs in the future?'

Babies 'near the top of the chart' are not intrinsically any healthier than babies near the bottom. There is no difference in health or health outcomes - but you are seeing that if she is near the top she has further to fall and still be safe and if she is near the bottom, this is not the case. I get you!

Everything we know about breastfeeding and how breastfeeding works indicates that it is volume of milk that enables appropriate growth - and that deliberately keeping a baby on one breast only 'to get the hindmilk' is to work against that. However, individual babies may thrive in individual circumstances. It may be that not increasing the freq. of your baby's feeds, and going with 'her' flow of 3 hrly may suit her, and enable her to bf better. But if you avoid switching sides, you will reduce her calorie intake, and your production, so if you go ahead with the 3hrly, don't also stop switching sides completely.

Hope it works out :)

Hi, needssomewine. I am really sorry you are feeling so unhappy about your baby's weight gain. You shouldn't compare her to other babies as her weight is probably completely normal for her.

To answer your question: has anybody been through this at the bottom of the weight chart? Yes.

My DD was only 4lb 8oz born. She never put on more than about 3-4oz per week for months. She dropped off the bottom of the weight charts! Even when she got back on she wasn't more than 2nd centile. My HV pressured me to give her formula but I said no, as long as she seemed well and she always gained something, I was happy. She is now 3yo and is a perfectly normal size and weight.

It is not massively important for babies to pile on the weight early on - in fact it can be dangerous: it is why formula fed babies can be more prone to obesity.

I'm not sure why the HV is mentioning formula to you as your baby's gain is within the normal range. It is OK that it is at the bottom end of normal - that's why there is a range, because every baby's 'normal' is what is right for them.

Well my aim is to keep relaxed until the next weigh in! Will see what weight is next week and see how I feel about carrying on. Formby- well done with your dd. How did you cope with people telling you their dc was bigger than yours was when their dc was born (when your dd was 15 weeks or something!). Drives me mad!

Tiktok- dd generally has a go at both breasts even if I put her back on the same one, so she might do left twice, right once instead of left, right, left iykwim so prob not much different?! Re the frequency, dd won't always be going 3 hrs, eg she has stayed awake after 2 feeds and needed feeding again an hour later (short feed though) so I'm sure it works out fine.

Hope it goes well, needsomewine :)

Practise ignoring people who comment on your baby's weight and compare - they are only making conversation, not a criticism. It means nothing more than if they commented on curly or straight hair, or blue or brown eyes....there is no need for you to take it as if they are making a negative comment. Some babies are big, some are small.....Big Deal :)

Thanks, I've got a feeling that our problem is that dd has a weak suck. Quite often she'll only suck if I do breast compressions or if I get a letdown. Also explains why I can't express much and my breasts haven't had that full feeling very much in the last 2 weeks. Don't think that's very easy to sort out is it?

No reason why a term baby gaining weight normally (although I know you are not sure of this!) would have a weak suck, though. There can be oral anomalies or other issues where a weak suck is a symptom, but they'd have shown up long before now.

It is normal for a baby to suck more obviously with a let down, and for pauses where nothing seems to happen to take place. Breast compression is intended to stimulate sucking - typically, this is done after the baby has done some sucking her/himself and you want him/her to suck more....which is when you are doing it, I gather. You'd need to have someone knowledgable - really knowledgable - to watch a whole feed, I think, to see if the actual suck was an issue.

Not being able to express much, and the fullness in the breasts going, can be normal and not signs of anything being wrong.

It never bothered me when people said she was small - I thought she was perfect! And I knew that every ounce she gained she gained because of me, because she and I were working together so she could get everything she needed. She had a terrible latch at first; wouldn't suck very well, was a bit lazy. I used to put her twin on first to get the let-down going and then put her on!

If the nappies are good and she is gaining weight and she is generally well, then you are doing great and she is doing great.

Don't over-analyse it - millions of years of evolution can't be wrong.