Breast feeding second thoughts!

[Renaissance227]

I'm 35+4 today and have been determined that I was going to breastfeed since I found out I was pregnant, BUT in the past couple of weeks I have been having second thoughts. I'd still like to try it but am now thinking of expressing after a week or two so that I can bottle feed but still give my baby breastmilk.
I've had lots of people telling me how awkward and difficult it can be to breast feed and that it would be easier to share the responsibility for feeding if my baby had bottles. I've also been told it would be easier for when I am out with the baby if I used bottles, etc. Many women have also said that they used formula from the beginning with their babies and it is the best way.
Can anyone advise me? Very confused now!

There are advantages and disadvantages with both methods but what makes it easier to decide is that if you chose to bf and it doesn't work out for you it's generally easy to swap to ff, whereas if you chose to ff it's tough to change over to bf. Give bf a go and then you can make your own mind up.

My personal experience was that bf was really tough at first because it was painful but when the latch issues were sorted it became painless. It's very time consuming and it attaches the baby to the mum for endless hours, but it's very convenient and very helpful for stoping the baby from crying....as well as being very good for the baby.

OP, I didn't even think for two seconds when I was pregnant whether I'd breastfeed or not. But when my son was born, I was desperate to feed him. I know this sounds a bit mental but I felt such an overwhelming need to physically feed him. I was quite shocked by that urge.

I found it really hard to breastfeed. It took weeks to get it right. In hospital he was very dehydrated and had to have formula for a few feeds. I was unaccountably devastated (even though I had never actually cared about formula or not). What showofhands says above was true for me too - breastfeeding gave me this big emotional bond.

And in the early weeks, feeding was pretty much constant, which can seem overwhelming but does pass.

But when I got the hang, it was so easy in public. I never wore special clothes - my top draped over enough and the baby covered everything else. And I watched friend's have to go home because they had forgotten milk/couldn't sterilise something. So I felt happy to breastfeed - so much freedom. I could never be bothered to express.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck with your baby! As someone else said above, you have to do what is right for your own situation so hope all goes well.

I,or should I say DS found breastfeeding ridiculously easy....now this isn't something I bragged about and I agree with one of the above posters....no successful breast feeders do ime....it's only those with difficulties so that's all u tend to read about. But at the same time I don't think antenatal classes prepare u for difficulties.

Well now I'm 9 weeks in and breastfed no problems for 6 weeks straight then started expressing as I'm not one for public feeding....he took to both fine but then suddenly he started to refuse boob (as a result of introducing teats/bottles) so now I have latch issues when he does go on but he seems to get what he wants! So now only night feeds are boob the rest are bottles of exp milk....and my life I am fed up of sorting bottles!! I couldn't even contemplate having to do that at night and I'll be devastated if he stops night feeds too. And I miss doing most of his feeds myself it's such a lovely bonding activity! I love how my DS feeds whilst cuddling my boob! I never thought I'd b saying that pre-birth.

Before I began breast feeding I thought if I can do it then great but no worries if not. As soon as I did that first feed I knew I wanted to breastfeed so I would say give it a go and see how u get on. There are a lot of breastfed support groups about who can offer advice if u have difficulties. MN is also a great help. I would give yourself the first 4-6 weeks to get your supply settled and bf established.

As this is your first, when baby arrives you'll be in such a different place all of a sudden and you'll be amazed at how those pre baby arrival thoughts get discarded.

Also agree with the other poster that anyone saying formula is the best way can only be saying it was the best way for them. Do whatever works for you and if u can feed baby, be happy in the knowledge u r giving him that natural goodness.

See how it goes for you and don't put any pressure on yourself either way and good luck!!

......."friends" not "friend's" - damn you, grammatically dodgy autocorrect.

I have both bottle fed and breastfed.

I bottle fed my DS who had loads of problems latching on (sleepy baby, jaundice, bad advice by midwife, and hadn't discovered Mumsnet!). So in the end I expressed milk for him and fed it to him in a bottle. Expressing milk is tough, very tough. You have to express at least every 3hrs to maintain supply and even more frequently in the early days. Then all the faff of cleaning and sterilising bottles and breastpump and then feeding the baby. It is a full time occupation in the early weeks, no time for anything else. Can't go out of the house for more than 2hrs at a time. Even then I was determined to give him BM so I continued expressing till I went back to work when he was 10 months old (although after the first 3 months expressing is not too bad as you can go longer between pumpings).

My DD now 13 months had no probs at all feeding. No pain (a little bit in the first few days), no mastisis etc. feeding her was easy, very easy.
More time to cuddle baby as I wasn't busy washing up bottles.

Out and about bottle are defnitely much harder. You have to warm up the milk to the right temp, especially BM as if its loo cold it seperates out. YOu worry about how long the BM has been out for and if you need to go back home if you need more milk. I don't know about making formula out and about, as I never did that, but from what I gather, if you are making formula properly, it is a faff as you need to make it with water that is nearly boiling.

Breastfeeding in public is not hard. I was initally shy about latching her on, but it only lasted the first couple of times and after that I had no reservations and at all. No one ever said anything negative to me, or gave me any looks, other than a smile. It is so lovely to know that her milk is always with me, not having to worry about it.

Yes it is easier if somebody else can give the baby a feed sometimes, and somtimes there are times I wished she would take a bottle, but really, they are that small for such a short time in the grand scheme of things, it's not really that big a deal.

Lots of good suggestions here. Worth also remembering that the health reasons to breastfeed - both for you and your baby - are extremely significant and are well worth factoring into your decision. Of course this assumes that you have a choice about your options (clearly many women don't due to lack of support although of course that's what MN's for!), but while you're looking at pros and cons it's an important part of the decision.

Some useful links to do some research on:

www.llli.org/nb/nbbenefits.html
www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk
www.kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/infant-formula.html
www.suite101.com/content/the-risks-and-disadvantages-of-formula-feeding-a85064

Some fantastic books that I can't recommend highly enough when looking at this issue, as well as for anyone who is having a baby, are:

Fully referenced history of the use of formula - it's not possible to overstate the importance of this book

Food of Love is the most beautiful "baby book" you will ever see, with loads of fabulous information offered entirely in a non-prescriptive way (as opposed to baby gurus where it's their way or the highway). Loads and loads of information about breastfeeding, and suggestions on gentle parenting.

choceyes much kudos to you for expressing for 10 months. That's amazing :)

thanks carrotcake , and with all the extra frozen breastmilk I had in the freezer, it took till nearly a year before I had to give him any other milk!

Don't listen to the negative comments. I was worried about some of the same issues and bought a breastpump, emergency formula etc. In practice, breastfeeding turned out to be very easy, and pain-free- certainly not difficult or awkward. You might have the same good experience. 7 months in and I have used the breastpump once, and the formula remains unopened. Feeding in public also turned out to be no big deal, it is pretty easy to do discretely, especially if you invest in a few breastfeeding tops.

The only negative I can think of is that breastfeeding can be quite time consuming in the early weeks, as it is quite normal for newborns to feed 12 or more times a day, sometimes for up to an hour! However, I found this to be a great opportunity to relax with the baby and watch a movie/read whilst people brought me drinks and cake etc!

I am sure you're well aware of the enormous health benefits for both you and the baby, and personally, I have found breastfeeding to be really lovely for bonding.

Each to their own and if some people prefer to ff, then that's their choice. But if you do decide to ff right from day one then you may be missing out on a wonderful experience.

Wow!! :) Blimey. You know, you're very inspiring. Someone who understands the health importance of breastmilk to work so hard for it... :) :)

(choceyes)

Lovely post softsheen

Totally what others have said but also to add that if you want to express and feed it is a huge commitment. To start with you'll need to express at least 8 times in 24 hours, so every 3 hours day and night in order to make sure that your supply doesn't diminish plus spend time cleaning and sterilising all the equipment. It defiantly isn't the easy option. Do you have any breast feeding drop ins near you? If so you would be very welcome I'm sure to go along and have a chat with them.

Having done all three (bf, expressing and ff when DP ran out of expressed milk), I'd say from my own experience that bf is the easiest option by far. Expressing is the hardest and ff is somewhere in the middle. I never got that hung up on exposing bits of flesh in public - frankly all dignity goes out of the window during the birth and from that point on you generally stop caring. The easiest way of being discreet is wearing two tops, the underneath one with a low neck. You yank down the underneath one under your boob then pull up the top one. The folds of fabric from the top layer hide absolutely everything without you even bothering too much. But it's up to you really. I'd say try the bf thing for at least a few days because every drop of colostrum counts, then make your mind up later. Good luck!

Thanks carrotcake :)