Health visitor driving me crazy about feeding, long message as upset today.

[melsy]

My DD is 5 weeks old and not been well this weekend with mild cold , which has meant she didnt want her feeds (formula bottles).My DH & I had got her up to 18oz a day until then and over the weekend it dropped back to 13oz, so I knew she wasnt well.Had difficult birth and awful care in hostpital, (which is another story altogether), see thread "stopping breastfeeding with mastitis".
Now 3rd health visitor, who knows full well what I have been through, more or less told me off in front of other mums at weighing clinic today ,for not feeding my baby often enough !!!. She had only put on 1.5 oz up to today in 5 days were as before she was putting on an oz a day.HV didnt even let me explain that the baby had been ill and could be why she has slowed a bit.Everything has been good the last 10 days as HV did not have a problem with feeding routine at home visit Thursday , as I let DD demand feed & HV thought we were doing well !!! Now HV is telling me to feed her every 3 hrs.She normally feeds every 4 or so hours,and takes 3.5 oz or so. If the gaps are shorter she just falls asleep on feeds or just chews the teat and we cant get her to take anything more than an oz, and believe me we persist in trying everything to get her to take it, despite frustration!!!. Feeding takes a WHOLE HOUR any way , so how does HV think the baby will take to it better if the gaps are shorter??????At that rate it will be every 2hrs with a bottle in her mouth!!
She has really riled me.The woman is crazy and just completely contradicted herself today. She also expects me to attend clinic every 5 minutes to get her weighed!!! aaarrrggghhh.
I am not some silly young clueless girl I am in my thirties with many baby and toddler neices and nephews, I have a sensible and concienscous nature. All this HV care doesnt allow you to go with instinct , and this one is far to dictatorial and indoctrinating. So now she has made me overly concerned about feeds and made me dread going to clinic !!! Please excuse rant, (& bad spelling), I have had about enough what with midwives, doctors and all!!!!

Hi Melsey. Sorry to hear that your HV has pi$$ed you off.

If you are happy that your baby is feeding well and taking enough milk, then I would ignore your HV. I don't think there is any reason why you should have to go and get your baby weighed all the time. Get your HV to come to you if she wants to weigh your dd, at least she can't have a go at you in front of everyone else.

I am sure that baby clinics are designed to make you feel guilty. I remember going with my dd1 and all the other babies were putting on loads of weight and my dd just didn't, for weeks and weeks her weight stayed the same. The tutting and sympathetic remarks are just depressing.

Too much emphasis is put on weight, if your baby is thriving and I'm sure you'd know whether she was or not, then don't worry about how much she weighs. I had my 2 yo dd weighed last week at a hospital appointment and she is only 21lb 9oz, shes pretty tiny, but very cute.

You seem to know what you are doing, so ignore HV as far as you can and trust your instincts.

unless there is some specific medical reason or problem I would not go to clinics to get my baby weighed.
Hope you are feeling better now.
Babies that age are VERY tiring

Yet more crap 'advice' from a HV living in text book land!
Try and ignore her. You know that your baby is ok despite what their bloody chart says.
I agree with Angiel, if the HV wants to weigh your DD every five minutes let her come to you.
Has she got children? Does she actually speak from experience?
Good luck, enjoy baby.

Just wanted to say that you are doing very well if she actually continued to but weight on when she had a cold. So what it slowed down. She'll probably have a growth spurt another week. I remember DS having a cold when he was a few weeks old and it is so difficult and uncomfortable for them to feed and breathe etc. Hope she is feeling better.

Melsey - I agree with Jasper wholeheartedly. Unless you have health concerns, do not believe that you 'need' to get your dd weighed. You then are in line for unsolicited advice from HV. It is such a shame that the focus on baby health is directly on weight. Your baby will start to look for bigger feeds as her cold susides. Let her tell you when she needs fed. I would wake her after 6 hours since she has been unwell though. You'll find she will take more when she is hungry - you know that anyway. Ditch the clinic for a while.

I am so glad you have all said what I have felt in my gut, but they drive you so mad you can't feel your own instincts , as the tiredness also drowns them out, so it is a double block!!
Do they not realise that if they let you get on with it , and worry more about children who are not cared for properly, then good, loving, caring mothers will do fine by their children.
Thank you for the help, I feel so reasured by these messages. I have started to let her sleep longer if she wants and then yes MOST OF THE TIME, she takes the feed a lot better.Although you do get a fright when they sleep that long during the night, I automatically wake up startled half way to check she's ok!!!

Meant to say 6 hours during the day. Don't worry about night time.