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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

If you bottle fed your baby........

74 replies

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 13/12/2005 13:51

What formula did you use and what food likes or dislikes do your childrean have now?

The reason I ask is that after a thread the other day, "What's the best Formula", alot of people said how they had actually tried it themselves. Aptimil, Hipp Organic and Cow and Gate came up as the best as people said it tasted creamier and the likes of other brands like SMA were quite bitter.

I fed my dd SMA Gold. It wasn't a educated decision. I was adamant I was going to be BF but due to a myseterious lack of milk and an inverted nipple , I couldn't. I had to establish feeding before we were to be discharged from hospital and I found that SMA Gold was the more popular formula on the ward, therefore thats what I used.

What I'm wondering is if the SMA is quite bitter, would this have have had an effect on dd's taste buds and would it have made a difference to what she likes today?

What do you think?

Do you think this

OP posts:

dexter · 15/12/2005 11:33

Just want to say midwives VERY strongly told me that 'we can't discharge you until a feeding pattern is established'. So I felt forced to make a decision, and from then on it was 'time to suppress the milk in this one, she's bottle feeding'. I hate it that this happened, because I desperately wanted to breastfeed but felt I had no choice (I was unwell after emergency birth and when my son did not latch on despite trying for 3 days I gave up).

harpsiheraldangelssing · 15/12/2005 12:09

oh dexter
that is such a sad story
god it makes me cross

hunkermunker · 15/12/2005 12:13

Dexter, that's appalling

Bloody midwives, bloody hospitals, bloody everything. Must remember to pack my ranting head for tricky situations after DB's born!

Glitterygook · 15/12/2005 12:15

Where are all these midwives with daft ideas??? I've come across any! I think I've been very lucky.

Glitterygook · 15/12/2005 12:15

I've NOT come across any I mean.

hunkermunker · 15/12/2005 12:21

Plenty on the postnatal ward at my hospital, GDG (esp on night shift). You'll be telling me you've had wonderful HVs next

dexter · 15/12/2005 12:22

thanks guys. I wish that they had just said to the community midwife 'on-going difficulties, please follow up at home and support'. Would that have been so hard? I feel very naive because I know nothing about breastfeeding - would it have worked if I had tried it when I got home? Or was my milk all gone anyway? Would it have come back if I'd just had some goes on my own at home? sorry if these are questions a schoolgirl should know!!!! how embarrassing!!! I just felt all control was gone, but that was the story of my birth anyway!!!

expatinscotland · 15/12/2005 12:28

dexter,
same thing happened to me! i wasn't even offered expressing as an alternative until my body and boobs had healed enough to give bf'ing another go. sure, it's not an ideal situation, but in a mum who's had a difficult delivery and who had both nipples gouged, it would have been better than 'k, bottle or breast and nothing in between.'

and yes, now i know, i could have gone home and established a supply! it can be done.

thecattleareALOHing · 15/12/2005 12:29

Not your fault at all Dexter. I think I'm pretty assertive, but I had an appalling experience with dd (second baby) and felt utterly powerless. In fact, I felt invisible and inaudible. It was terrifying. I would NEVER criticise or judge anyone for things they did under those circs. You can't change the past, but it can be different next time.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 15/12/2005 12:38

dexter have you ever fed back your experience to the hospital? many places doa BIrth Afterthoughts service, where you can talk through your expereinces with a mw, and I think it might help for you to talk it through and also for the hospital to hear about your experience so they can change their attitudes
obviously only if you feel you are ready

PotPourri · 15/12/2005 12:43

My sister BF all 4 kids and they are all pretty fussy eaters. So although I do think breast is best, I don't think it meets the claims some people set out that the baby will grow up not being a fussy eater. As others have said, your attitude to food is the key. DD doesn't like tomatos in anything, have tried lots of times. Just personal taste. Yet she LOVES anything green! What makes me mad is that if my mum is looking after her and she doesn't eat up her dinner instantly (she's a slow eater), then she just fills her up with bananas and biscuits - now what is that teaching her?

Sorry to hear the stories here about BF and the pressure midwives put on. I am another failed breastfeeder, and even now, a year later, it hurts if I think too much about it. But what's done is done. And we are lucky to live in a time that there is a very viable and good alternative - so no harm done in the longrun!

tiktok · 15/12/2005 12:44

dexter, that's awful. Women after birth are in a very vulnerable position, and even now, you're still embarrassed not to know things that I can tell you every schoolgirl does not know, and which every midwife certainly does not know either.

I don't know how old your baby is, but you could start to feed now if you felt you wanted to.

In any case, let the hospital know about it.

It's so sad to see that women will post to talkboards about their experiences, but not the hospital who was responsible for them, and when the hospital doesn't know how bad things are, they can be very smug about their services

Please write.

tiktok · 15/12/2005 12:45

and dexter....yes, your milk would have come back, but that was your community midwife's job to tell you how to do it (more than 'a few goes at home' would have been needed, maybe, and support and encouragement is just as important, too). Not your fault - theirs.

hunkermunker · 15/12/2005 13:55

I went back to my hospital after I had DS (he was 6mo) - yes, I breastfed him, but with NO support from the hospital and it was bloody hard and I was that I kept hearing stories from other women of how poor the support was on the postnatal ward.

I felt it was a positive thing to do - and I'll be really interested to see what's happened on the ward there now (if I get there, since am hoping for a speedy exit from the place!).

Original poster

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 15/12/2005 14:23

Dexter, that sounds very much like my experience except I didn't have a c section.

It was quite clear in my birth plan that when dd was born I wanted to latch her on straight away. They did that but after having Pethidine very close to the birth I was quite out of it.
They literally stiched me up and then all the midwives were called off to an emergency leaving me, dh and dd alone.
At this point I was telling dh I thought I was dying cos I felt so weird with the effects of the Pethidine. He called a midwife in who explained everything was ok and he asked if we could have some help with the breast feeding.

The BFC came in, very quickly showed dh what I needed to do and ran off. So I was left lying on my side on the bed with both boobs hanging out and dh holding dd trying to get her to latch on!

The next day I was told dd had been cup fed in the night (I wasn't even asked) and then was quite calmly told to start BF.I couldn't get her to latch on and when I did nothing was happening so as a result I had a midwife on one boob and an auxilary nurse on the other squeezing them to get the colostrum out in to a cup.

That was the only help I got with it, if you can call that help.
Like Dexter said, it was a case of having your baby feeding before you went home so I was left no other choice than to go to the bottle cupboard. Their response to that was "We'll be very suprised if your baby takes more than 1oz".

2 consecutive 4oz bottles later they discharged me! So dd must have been so hungry. This was on dd 3rd day of life so she had gone all that time without feeding.

I have seen some posters in the Dr's about a BF support group which is held every week but it's the initial support I need. Whether I get that or not, I don't know. I'll have to quiz the midwife on it.

OP posts:

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 15/12/2005 14:59

Contact the NCT, and ask if there will be a breastfeeding workshop in your area that you can attend before the baby is born. Remember also that a baby doesn't need to feed as soon as it is born. Neither of mine were interested until they were about 1hr old, and even then they didn't do much other than latch on a bit and explore. So we just cuddled at first. Mind you, dd suddenly got interested after about 3h, and then didn't let go of me for about 24h, with predictable effects on my nipples - ouch ouch ouch! Cuddling your newborn skin-to-skin and exploring him or her, gazing into their eyes, relaxing and just breathing, are all you need at first. And that will make the first feeds easier too.

If you're lucky you'll get decent midwives. I unfortunately had an awful one, but I have also had wonderful ones. But unfortunately you can't rely on them to give good bf advice or support. There are good, supportive HVs - I know because I have a good one too. Contact your HV and ask her to put you in touch with a bfing group as well, and see what you find. Cherry-pick, choose the group you find most comfortable.

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 15/12/2005 15:02

And BTW, if anybody tries to 'help' you by grabbing hold of your boobs, you can tell them to go away PDQ! They are your breasts, not some milch cow's udders, and mandhandling you will not help you at all. Oooh makes me cross! Unfortunately, I know from my own experience that it can be difficult to speak up - and I was a second-timer when this happened to me - so you need your dh to be your advocate and speak up for you, just as he (or your birth partner) will have been during the labour.

SarahOnTheRock · 15/12/2005 15:02

Dexter- I don't know how far post birth you are but there is a possibility of recommencing breast feeding ( or at least having another go.... have you tryed any one like la leche league or a breast feeding support website for counsellors in your area.

There is a book bestfeeding that talks about restarting after starting bottle feeding...don't know how much you want too.... for me I found it incredibly hard and painful but fortunately living in Gibraltar I had pretty much exclusive access to a midwife who came to visit every day until 21 days ( becuase I wasn't very good and needed the help) If you are just a few days post let me know and i'll look up some help for you???

tiktok · 15/12/2005 17:25

prettycandles - too right about the breast handling. One of the most disempowering and uncomfortable experiences of my life was when a midwife stood behind me and expressed my engorged breasts. I felt about an inch high. There was no need for her to do it. She could have taught me how to do it and kept her hands to herself. I hear all the time from women who have been handled in this way. It's horrible...but you cannot say anything at the time, because you are so disempowered.

Hulababy · 15/12/2005 17:36

DD had SMA Gold, then White then Foll ow milk from 6 weeks till 18 months.

She is3y8m now and adores her food, always has done since weaning. There is little she won't at least try and enjoys most things. She isn't keen on anything too spicy, doesn't like mushrooms, humous, coleslaw type thing...but most other stuff inc all her fruit and veggies, fish, meat and sweet stuff too.

Hulababy · 15/12/2005 17:37

Oops - didn't read rest of thread and see it had moved on.

hunkermunker · 15/12/2005 20:20

Tiktok, this was one of the things I raised when I went back to the hospital to discuss my experience.

The head of midwifery said that lots of women asked for hands-on help - which is totally fair enough, but surely better to guide with verbal directions rather than grab, since if you want to feed your baby, there's not always going to be a midwife around to get your boob in the right place!

I was grabbed too - unpleasant experience and not one I'd "asked" for, which I also raised - and I said that it might be better to wait to be asked rather than just swoop in, which was conceded

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 16/12/2005 13:28

I suppose it can be easier to demonstrate than to explain in words, but throughout labour (unless there's an emergency) medical staff ask permission before laying hands on you - so what happened to asking permission before grabbing your boobs? And, in any case, if demonstration is really necessary, why shouldn't the midwife demonstrate on her own boobs?

Original poster

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 16/12/2005 13:31

Good point PC.

The more I think about it, the more angry I am that I let them do it.

It really does make you feel small.

I'm making a note of all this so I can have a good chat with my midwife.

OP posts:

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