9 wk old BF refusing breast

[ekkiethump]

have been breast feeding and giving a bottle at bedtime (was really unsettled with hunger) but for the past day she has been completely refusing breast. wont even latch on to try.
keep trying different positions, calming her down with dummy first etc.. but having none of it and then when offered bottle downs 6 oz at once.

i hated breast feeding my first as he had reflux (which i didnt realise) and he would just scream as soon as he came of the breast which made me feel terrible so i was dtermined to enjoy it this time.
have been enjoying it most times. feel that if i stop BF i will feel guilty but if i carry on i wont enjoy it with a baby screaming at me because she wants the bottle. what do i do? deep down i think i want to stop but i feel guilty that it makes me a bad mum because i'm sure all the perfect mums out there would persevere

If you want to continue breastfeeding, I'd cut the bottle for now. Some babies get lazy if they have a bottle, but within a couple of days she'd have forgotten about it. Maybe call a breastfeeding helpline for some expert advice?

If you want to stop though, it doesn't make you a bad mum! Getting to 9 weeks is a great achievement in itself - most babies in this country don't even get 6 weeks of breastmilk. Have a look at some reasons to be proud.

Agree with rita about the bottle - where you using a slow flow teat (if not, these are better for bf babies as they make the baby work for the milk just like they have to work a bit for the milk from the boob).

FWIW we have had periods of refusal - look up the website "kellymom" or google "nursing strike". DD wasn't given much choice but she came back to loving the breast each time, though I recall being frustrated and very worried at the time. just make sure you're getting regular wet nappies and try to relax as much as possible. and 6oz of BM at once for a 9 week old sounds like a huge amount, I suspect maybe she's overfeeding because it's easy/tastes good/she enjoys sucking.

There's no such thing as a "perfect mum".

Whatever your decision, you're a good mum. Not bad, not perfect, but good. At least you're trying...

I do agree that this sounds like classic nipple confusion and if you DO decide that you want to carry on, ditching the bottle is the way to go, and this means sitting down and feeding, feeding, feeding for a few days until things settle down. You describe your baby's evenings as being difficult because of hunger, but really babies of this age do often cry a lot at night and the best way through it is to just keep on swapping breasts and have faith that it will improve soon, because it will. They just get past the fussy evenings and settle down. It's really hard while it's happening, but if you can just set in for the evening with snacks and a drink, feed, feed and feed, pop your baby in a sling if you need to and wait it out.

What do you really want to do? Do you want to get through this difficult part and be able to breastfeed, or are you ready to stop now?

If I told you you had to stop, how would you feel?

Answer this question honestly in your heart of hearts, and thats what you should do, and pat yourself on the back for getting this far, whatever you decide xo