Ok catbus with regard to sleeping in the cot:
Wear a t-shirt then tuck over mattress so that it smells of you.
Whilst breastfeeding play lullaby toy so that he associates the music with you and comfort (will help with settling in cot and stopping bfing).
Let him play in the cot with toys during the day to get him used to it and start daytime naps in cot first before nights.
Lightshows work for some and not others, but may keep him interested in being in his cot at night.
Drawing on bare back with finger always calms my DD and sends her off to sleep quickly in her cot.
Stories, sitting by the cot then slowly moving away over time does work if you want to move to self settling down the line.
PS if you still want to co-sleep get a long bed guard from Mothercare and put him against it.
Stopping nightfeeding:
If co-sleeping wear several layers of clothes to prevent break-ins.
Stay firm and only offer water after a certain time, there will be tears, but he will soon get the message. If DP/DH can go to him to offer water all the better, it will only take a week or so and he may even start sleeping through if he knows there is only water on offer (this is easier if not co-sleeping).
If dropping from several feeds a night express at first to stop mastitis and offer in a bottle to encourage him to switch to bottle full time (you can offer this as bedtime feed if you wish to get him out of the breast-bed association).
If you want to switch to cows milk, get him used to bottle of breast milk by expressing first then gradually reduce breastmilk amount and top up with cows milk to get him used to flavour i.e. 100% bm, 90% bm/10 cm, 70% bm/30% cm and so on.
Be prepared for tears, it is harder at first, but worth it to get your sleep and sanity back. Get help from DP/DH and other family if possible, nap in the day/weekends if you can to catch up in the short term.
Good Luck!