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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Im so stupid! - feel free to tell me off!!

22 replies

Helenemjay · 07/12/2005 11:53

Here i am again - the stupidist person around! after all the wonderful help all you girls have given me, i finally lost the plot on friday, - dd had kept me up most of the night for about a week, my eldest ds is having problems at school and my ds2 is 2.5 so is in full paddy throwing, wall drawing, floor rolling, toy smashing, nose picking mode!! so after my breastfeeding cioncerns about is she getting enough? why is she always crying? why doesnt she sleep etc etc, i gave up breastfeeding! i went out on saturday and bought bottles and formula and i have been feeding her that way since ishe has still been taking the occasional feed from me but for nothing more than comfort, but i have realised it was all for nothing - she is absolutley no better on the bottle! she still yells all the time, she still wont sleep!! and to make matters worse she throws up all the time now! so i gave up breastfeeding for nothing i know im so stupid and i deserve a kick up the ar*e, but is it too late to get breastfeeding back?? will it work? and how long will it take? i would like very much to actually breastfeed 100% again and not have any problems i think my formula useage over the last 3/4 days has done me alot of good as it has shown me it wasnt my milk that was the problem at all!

OP posts:

LIZS · 07/12/2005 11:59

I'm sure it is still possible - have you searched for a Tiktok or Mears thread on Relactation ?

Avalon · 07/12/2005 11:59

You're not stupid - we all lose the plot sometimes.

From what I've read on here I think you'll still be able to bf - I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be along in a bit.

What you need to hold on to is that you're doing your best for your baby.

throckenholt · 07/12/2005 12:02

how old is she ? Would a cranial osteopath help maybe ?

not stupid - just a desperate parent !

breast feeding can be re-established - just feed her first and then top up with formula if necesssary - gradually reduce formula. Feed as much as you can - demand will boost supply - may take a week or two.

LIZS · 07/12/2005 12:04

try looking here for advice.

chipmonksRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 07/12/2005 12:11

no, not too late! Feed as much as possible, it'll come back.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 07/12/2005 12:14

nobody here will tell you off... and if they do I will tell them off
as my mother always says, darkly, when you are a parent You Do What You Have To Do.
good luck with getting started again
cranial ost. worked for us, it is worth a try
also, (sorry if this is old ground) have you tried a battery operated swing? life saver for me. also baby massage on some occasions

Eeek · 07/12/2005 12:15

I gave up for a week with my ds after getting completely desperate and after a change of heart managed to reinstate it. It can be done if you want to. Just breastfeed first and offer a bit of formula afterwards. Gradually reduce the formula available and it'll be OK. I managed to carry on to 18 months. Don't worry - you're just frazzled and trying to do the best for all of you.

tiktok · 07/12/2005 12:32

Helen, yes, of course you can go back to it....but excuse the directiveness, you really will find it easier if you have a different outlook this time.

You need to avoid interpretng every squeak and squawk and 'early' waking up as a sign your milk is in some way inadequate.

You need to expect her to have an erratic pattern and not to fit into any schedule (for the time being).

You need to accept her need for comfort and closeness as a sign she is a normal baby communicating her needs in a busy household in the only way she knows how.

You need to get help not with the baby so much but with the older children.

Hope this helps!

NotQuiteCockney · 07/12/2005 13:25

Good luck. And very brave of you to realise the thing you'd done isn't helping, and to reconsider it! I think everyone struggles with that - I know I do.

blueshoes · 07/12/2005 13:31

Helenemjay, no one is going to tell you off . At least now you know it is not a supply issue - that is one cross in the box. Now you can focus on trying to find out what else could be troubling your wee one. Hope you can be gentle on yourself - loads of hugs for coping with your brood.

Original poster

Helenemjay · 07/12/2005 13:32

Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou!! im so pleased i can get my milk back! i have just sat for an hour and fed her and she has gone to sleep without any top ups!!!! - [BIG cheesy grin] i cant understand why im so stressed out this time! you are right tiktok every squeek or whinge she makes im thinking oh god! whats up now! im not getting enough food into her, she's hungry and im not feeding her enough! i feel like she's my first baby and im clueless! i had this problem with ds1 but when i had ds2 i completley took it all in my stride and he was a bugger to feed - a very hungry baby, but i still managed to feed him myself (barring a 6oz formula at 10pm everynight) until he was 6 months! why im having such a hard time with dd i really dont know! im really puzzled! my house has gone to hell and me and dp are always picking on each other while the boys roll around scrapping and wrecking the place, my mum has ds2 today for the afternoon and does so every wednesday, ds1 is at school, so its just me and dd yet im still sat here thinking how long will she sleep is she going to scream when she wakes up, what can i do to shut her up if she does! anyway enough of my ranting moaning and carry on! im more determined than ever to bfeed dd for as loooooooong as posssible - i will not give up again!! - will instead think of a way to chill the hell out!! (fingers tightly crossed)

OP posts:

Original poster

Helenemjay · 07/12/2005 13:41

Thankyou blueshoes and all of you for the nice words - your all so sweet, hate to sound like a moaner but i feel like everyone around me is waiting for me to crack and give up breastfeeding, when i told my sister i had given it up she said yeah i would if i were you, you have to much to do dont you! i know she's probably saying what she thinks i want to hear, but she is breastfeeding her dd so if anyone should understand the need for support i would have thought it would be her!

OP posts:

MIstletAOU · 07/12/2005 15:05

Helen, don't beat yourself up about this! In fact, as tiktok has said, it is actually a very positive thing. At least you now know that, whatever the problem is, it isn't your milk!

I think as blueshoes says, you need to try and get some more help with your other two, so that you aren't taking the responsibility of everything onto your own shoulders. Dd has demonstrated that, difficult as it is to placate her, b/fing is the best thing for her just now. While ds1 is at school his needs are taken care of, but ds2 seems to be causing you some extra stress! Can your mum take him for more than one day a week just now? Is there a playgroup he can go to? Even if you have to take him and stay with him, it may give you a bit of a break as you won't have to watch him 100%. What about teatime, can you get any extra help there? Could you pay for a cleaner/someone to do your ironing?

Sorry loads of questions there - I was just thinking that if you could maybe relieve the burden in other areas it might help you to relax a little more with your dd. HTH.

Original poster

Helenemjay · 07/12/2005 17:19

I think you are right about geting more help with everything else, my dp is very stressed with his job at the moment and my mum has been laying guilt trips on everyone about how she spends her life looking after my sisters kids all the time and so i dont feel like i can ask her to have ds2 anymore, and i think if im honest im quite a maternal person and i KNOW dd will be our last baby - which although i dont want anymore dd is only 12 weeks and im scared i may get broody again and knowing i wont have anymore im scared i wont cope with that, so knowing dd is my last i think im giving myself added pressure to 'do everything right' and cope perfectly and when things go wrong i beat myself and everyone else up about it! wow - i should really chill out shouldnt i?

OP posts:

Original poster

Helenemjay · 07/12/2005 17:20

Just been reading on another thread about the use of fenugreek???? is it any good??

OP posts:

chipmonksRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 07/12/2005 23:34

never tried it Helenemjay but have heard its good. have also heard Motilium's good ( yes the tummy stuff!) But again haven't tried it.

followthestarlover · 07/12/2005 23:39

oh helenemjay... i went through similar stuff with my ds... it's very upsetting isn't it?

I would really, really, really strongly recommend seeing an osteopath with her... they work wonders! I would 100% tell everyone with a difficult baby to give it a go...

I used motilium which really, really boosted my supply. you shouldn't need to take it for too long because once your supply is back up then baby will keep it there by feeding

i hope you get it all back on track...

followthestarlover · 07/12/2005 23:40

fenugreek didn't wrok at all for me. made me stink of curry though! lol

moondog · 07/12/2005 23:43

Helen...wishing you lots of luck.
I had a nightmare time with my dd..it would have been so easy to throw in the towel as far as b/feeding was concerned.
Feet up girl.....relax and get feeding.

Twiga · 08/12/2005 00:48

Helenemjay, just wanted to say don't worry and keep going - you can do it !

throckenholt · 08/12/2005 07:55

fenugreek worked for me - but as others have said motilium is often recommended as a short term boost - ask for it by name - it is not sold as a breast feeding boost.

Also - have you tried using a sling ? That way you can feed and do other things, and also for some babies they just need to be near you and may help solve some of you screaming problems.

Also how about massage - can help a tense baby.

And I put my ds to sleep on his front because he took an hour to settle on his back and 5 mins on his front - we both really needed to sleep - you could try that and then turn her back over on to her back once she is settled. Or prop her on her side - she may settle better like that.

MissCaitlin · 14/12/2005 09:40

oh Helenemjay - dont have any constructive advice im afraid (brain fried this am) but i just want to say that you are obviously a wonderful mother, who cares a great deal and is doing the absolute best they can to keep a hundred balls in the air and basically be superwoman. you are undoubtedly doing a MUCH better job than you think you are and should try, as you know yourself, to cut yourself some slack and relax a little. more support from those around you would be nice too!!

good luck with it all and rememeber that in a few months you wont even remember much detail about how stressed you are now...it will all be a fading memory as things settle down and improve.
also, i've heard the cranial osteopath thing works wonders too.

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