Really upset by tongue tie :-(

[PrisonerZero]

My DS is 8 weeks old and I noticed he had a tongue tie last week. He had been struggling to stay latched on when feeding and gulping in loads of air which made him sick and windy. It was making him miserable and stopping him from sleeping properly. I took him to the health visitor and we were referred to the hospital to have it snipped.

We went on Wednesday and had a very brief consultation with the surgeon(?), I was already apprehensive as they don't numb/use pain relief etc but I was told it was very quick and simple, that babies don't really notice it etc and that the benefit would out weigh the 'minor' surgery.

DH had to hold DS down and I turned away as I couldn't look (I had already taken him for his jabs and didn't want to see him upset again), I heard my baby scream in pain, and scream, and scream. He was given to me straight away to try and feed but he wouldn't latch on, he was to upset. He screamed for about half an hour, they couldn't explain it and kept saying that most babies only cried for a few minutes. They did say his tongue tie was worse than expected (tied at the front, also to the gum, and a thick tie at the back). I gave him some calpol and took him home still screaming. The hospital was an hour and a halfs drive away and he swopped between sobbing and dozing all the way home.

I tried again to feed him on several occassions but he refused the breast and wouldn't latch on. I tried to express and couldn't. In the end DP had to go out and get a bottle and give him some formula, he took an hour to slowly take 4oz.

He sobbed most of the night and nothing could comfort him. Yesterday he was a little better and I managed to feed him myself although couldn't tell the difference between post/pre tongue snipping. He slept for 4 hours in the afternoon, which isn't normal for him.

Today he is much brighter, back to smiling and coo-ing. But, I am upset that I put my baby through it, I should have insisted on pain relief, or delayed it maybe whilst gathering more information. I feel guilty and just want to hold him and kiss him but I can't even do that as I have a chest infection and am trying not to pass it on to him. I just feel so sad for him.

My DS went to have his tongue tie snipped at 5-6 weeks (can't remember now). I think he needed to relearn how to latch and feed, so I didn't notice the difference for a few weeks. His weight, however, climbed from the 9th to the 50th centile over those same few weeks. I don't think it necessarily makes a difference straight off.

Your baby will not remember it, and, even if it makes no difference now, will mean that he doesn't have problems with his speech or kissing girls.

You did the right thing by taking his to the surgeon and for getting their advice. It is normally a really simple and quick procedure so I am sorry to hear that it wasn't the case for your DS.

Also, it doesn't matter if you have a chest infection. Give him lots of cuddles and kisses anyway. You are really unlikely to pass anything on to him but, even if you did, you are giving him all the right antibodies in your milk.

My heart goes out to you and I wish I could reach out and give you a hug. I can definitely recommend the NCT breastfeeding line for hugs and reassurance over the phone - I know from me calling them in tears that they are well used to it.

Don't beat yourself up about it. You had no way of knowing he would be that upset about it :(
My ds had this at 11 weeks and was very upset. 3 months on though, I'm still bfing and having no pain, no latch issues, so it was worth it.
In the day or so after, he was a bit reluctant to feed, so I spent lots of time in bed with ds, skin to skin, which really seemed to help.

Hope you and your baby are feeling better soon xx

Thank you both, I know its stupid but all I can think about is my poor innocent trusting baby being hurt and not understanding why

Kissing .....

He'll never remember and you were trying to do your best for him.

Can I tell you what I tell my junior doctors? It's fine to make a mistake, not ideal but we all do it sometimes. What matters is that you didn't make that mistake out of laziness or badness, but that you were trying to do your best.

I don't think you did make a mistake here. It just was more complicated than it is normally. But, even if this was a mistake, you were trying to do what is best for him.

Hope feeding gets easier soon.

Sorry this didn't go as well as it could, but please don't feel guilty. I assume its not common for babies to have this reaction so there's no reason for you to have thought he would have.

I know its horrible seeing your little baby in pain, but personally I think you did the best for him. Having a day or two of pain surely is better than potentially having a GA down the line if he had speech problems (and less risky).The thought of putting a baby/child under GA sounds horrendous to me.

I was really lucky with both my DD's when they had their tongue ties snipped and they latched on instantly, although both were done on day 3. However the consultant did say that it is more common for it to take a week or two for the full benefit so give it time.

Hope the feeding gets better and congratulations!

I had my son's TT snipped at 6 weeks (fine, a few tears but fed right away) and redivided at 12 weeks (very upset, screamed, we had to spoon feed him milk from the Calpol spoon, he wouldn't BF for 2 days, wouldn't bottle feed until bedtime and the TT was done at 9.15 am). When they're older they are just more aware. I felt terrible but there is no hope for us ever to BF otherwise.

Did you get exercises to do to stop it reforming?