Breastfeeding means I'M the one who has to get up all night?

[rooks14]

I just wondered how everyone felt about the fact they were/are the ones getting up to a screaming baby, while DP's/Dh's sleep?

I'm hating DP at the mo as he's snoozing next to me, and I haven't slept in 9 months because of restless leg syndrome (just posted another thread if anyone can help?) and so am like a zombie all day, added to the 39+4 pregnancy, and he has the cheek to ask what I've done during the day! At least with FF we would both have to share the load? (I'm fully aware of the advantages of breastfeeding, hence why I want to iron out any stresses pre-baby, rather than rowing with DP when the baby's here! but as both of us were FF and uni graduates, I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't/don't end up BF!).

I'm going back to uni when DS will be about 8 weeks, only for a few hours a week, the rest at home so breastfeeding shouldn't be too bad schedule-wise if I can express. I'll still have a lot of work to do so i'm going to need an equal amount of sleep and in the beggining I know expresing isn't easy!

Many Thanks for your opinions :)

Another co-sleeping vote. I've always struggled to get to sleep and for the first few months of DS's life I struggled to get back to sleep after night feeds - I'd often be up another hour or even more even though I was exhausted. Since starting sort-of co-sleeping at 4 months I 'learnt' how to get myself (and DS) to sleep by bf'ing, and I now sleep better than I ever have in my life.

DS is 18 m.o. now and has slept badly for most of his life. DH has got up for DS in the night just once in his life. I don't mind because DH has insomnia and I find co-sleeping so easy.

I had evil insomnia at the end of my pregnancy. The last full night's sleep I got was 23rd December 2010!! I remember it being Christmas eve and I just could not sleep and it got worse till I thought I was going mad. DS2 was born at 41 weeks + 4 and I have slept so much better since. I wake naturally when he needs a feed and then go back to sleep again. DH sleeps like a log all night, the baby could be screaming blue murder and he'd not wake up (we once had a bad night with colic so I know). I would never consider FF personally having got BF working so well (but agree it is up to everyone to make their own choices etc etc:))

In the very early days when DH was on 3 weeks paternity leave, yes I bf the baby in the day and the night but he did everything, and I mean everything else, nappy changes (day and night), baths, burping, settling, housework, cooking, shopping, cleaning . I had a c-section and wasn't one of those women who seems to bounce back straight away, so he literally had to bring her to my hands when she wanted a feed and then take her away after for burping etc. How some c-section women are up and around ASDA 5 days later I will never know!

After that in the early months, yes I did take on the lions share of the night stuff, but in fairness I was able to dose and rest in the day when I could whereas DH works long hours 6 days a week. So we discussed it and that was our agreement. He always ensured I got a good lie-in at some point over the weekend. DD was always a reasonably good sleeper and did a 6 hour stretch at night from the word go I wish I could say the same now .

Co-sleeping has never been for me, but we had her in a small crib right along side the bed so I just swung my legs around and fed her sat on the end of the bed, which I found worked just fine. I had DH's dressing gown cord tied round the corner of the crib so I could rock the crib whilst I was lying down .

Cracking feeding lying down was a big thing for me. I still manage to get an extra 20 mins of rest in the mornings while DD 9mo has her first feed of the day. It's a lovely cuddly time :)

9 months on, my compromise with DH is that I will deal with the first night waking and the second one as well (which takes care of about 99% of nights). If she wakes for a 3rd time then I give DH a good kick in the ribs and tell him it's his turn :) Again, this is a compromise that works for us.