If one more person tells me to give DS formula........ So pissed off.

[PrisonerZero]

I am exclusivily breastfeeding my DS3, he is 3 weeks old.

He is perfect, putting on weight, alert, smiling - I adore him, and I am enjoying feeding him, especially when he is still awake and gives me an 'I love you' look whilst being fed.

I don't have sore nipples, I don't complain about feeding him, I am discreet - I feed him upstairs at mils house, I occassionally express a bottle and he takes the bottle as well as the breast.

Yes, he feeds alot - ever hour and a half, day and night. Its normal, it doesn't mean my milk "isn't good enough" or "not filling him up", or that "hes a very hungry baby" or that "He will be dehydrated and ill"

No, he doesn't need water or juice, he will not "end up back in hospital because I am stubborn"

So, I am sick to death of being told to give him formula to "make him sleep" or to "fill up his tummy, poor mite must be starving". I am not going to "Make myself ill" or "need him more than he needs me" or "spoil him"

DP has so far bought 2 tins of formula, and 3 ready made cartons. He is determined that I give them to him - He can't get through his head that I don't need to "top him up" and that I am doing a bloody good job of feeding him myself. He thinks I am being stroppy and stubborn and will end up regretting it.

I have heard him on the phone to his granmother and mother, and I know that are asking whether i've seen sense yet and given him a bottle yet. His answers are all along the lines of "I know, i've told her...." and "Well, we'll see...." I appreciate the bottles that mil bought me - they will come in useful for expressing. I thought I was very polite when his granmother said she thought my milk wasn't good enough. I let mil faff around trying to get him to take water, but I am rapidly reaching the end of my teather with them all. If they knew me at all, they would realise that I would carry on feeding him even if my nipple was hanging off purely because they are pressuring me. I've breastfed two babies before, I know what i'm doing - why can't they back the fluffy duck off and leave me alone.

Its probably that they want a turn feeding him - and thats fine, I am happy to express breast milk and they can give it to him.

Just a moan as I am fed up of being made to feel like a 'know-it-all freak that is damaging my baby'

I told DP that my milk is perfect for him as it was made just for him, and he said that companies had spent years making formula perfect for babies and it was probably better now than breast milk. Oh, and its got vitamins in it.... I told him breast milk did too

Its not that I have anything aganst formula feeding btw, I would be just as annoyed if I was giving him SMA and they were trying to force me to breastfeed. I breastfeed because (luckily for me) its easy, free and convienient. And I am to lazy to sterilise things.

I agree that your mil may feel defensive about this. And while i think that calls for tact, i don't think it's a reason not to engage them on the subject.

You are clearly a strong and well inforwomen.man op, but there could be other women who aren't that lucky who also get to hear these people's crap opinions. At least if you try to set them straight you know you have done your bit to tackle some of the misinformation that sadly ruins bf for many women.

Just wanted to say well done for not giving in to the pressure Prisoner!! I too struggle with breast feeding 'haters' as my sister & I call them! Dsis & I are both breastfeeding DD 12wk & DN 8wk. The worst one for the criticism was my Dad who actually told me not to come to a family lunch in case I had to "get my boob out" in the restaurant when DD was 3wk old. At the time I decided to stay at home - now I'm confident with the feeding & will breast feed whenever & where ever I need to!
With the water feed that your MIL tried to give, I've read that BM is almost 80% water & if BF there is no need to give water as this is not required & will fill baby's tummy? - may need Tiktok or RitaMorgan to verify.

Another well done from me! Your patience is amazing, I would have made up all the formula by now and thrown it over DH while he was asleep.

I never realised how supportive my DH was and I really feel for u hopefully he'll get his arse in gear soon and realise that how he's fed is up to u not him and his ignorant grand/mother...how cheeky telling u your milk is not good enough!! I'd definitely tell her to shut the fluff up!

I'd make my DH drink all the formula himself if he was so bloody bothered about it....

I'm sure that's right bigmacplease....sure it changes according to the weather for water content too, ie hot weather more diluted milk for rehydration..

well done from me too - youre making an amazing difference to your LO's future. I also get this crap from M & MiL. At least I was supported by my DH - esp at the start when I was most likely to give up. Whoop whoop to you!

We have fantastic breastfeeding support workers here. They will come out and talk to you or your family at any point in the BF journey whether it's initial troubles, continuing after going back to work or even stopping properly when the time is right. They are great if you just need a whinge too! All of them have fed a baby themself, it's a condition of the job. It's a free service too. Do you have anyone like that to talk to? I'm starting to get people hinting about how DS would sleep better if he had a bottle, he needs to be weaned etc. He's 12 weeks old!

Hey you're doing a brilliant job! Ignore ignore ignore!!!!

My mil is always saying to give dd "just a little water". She dud with dd1 too. I just and say she's getting everything she needs from me" and "times have changed"

You are 100% right and I hope your dp at least, falls in line asap.

Until then keep up with the deep breathing

You must have the patience of a saint to have put up with all those comments! Seriously, how have you not flipped out yet? Is it the serotonin keeping you chilled out?

I am waving my virtual pom-poms at you "Go PrisonerZero!"

I found the line "My child is a baby human not a baby cow" very useful. My mum actually said "Oh my god, did I give you milk from a cow?" I don't know what she thought formula was made from

Congrats on the feeding going well, and, no - I don't have your patience.

Ask the old bats dears how long they go without a cup ot tea/ sip of water/ eye of newt.
Then ask why they expect a tiny baby to go without for longer. Keep quiet about the nights - they don't need to know

You could also innocently ask why do they want to stop you doing the best for your baby (pointing out what's written about breastfeeding on the side of those tins and cartons)?

As well as the fact that formula is cow's milk (they may not know) and can cause illness if not prepared correctly?

OMG

How infuriating. I really really hope i dont get lectures on how my baby needs formular, when doing as well as your baby seems to be on the breast.

I will certainly be telling anyone who suggests otherwise why my baby is having human milk tailored to him, and not processed cows milk, which despite being marketed as closest to breastmilk, in reality is nothing like breast milk at all

keep at it, sounds like you are doing a great job, and rant here as much as you like

Also point out that its HOT and like everyone else your baby is probably thirsty too...... and breast milk is far better for a genuinely thirsty baby than formular!!!!

OP - you are doing fab. I'm a HV so you can tell them a HV said that what you and your baby are doing in terms of frequency of feeds etc is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
Furthermore - this HV thinks you are doing an AMAZING job of feeding your baby. Formula milk is great but doesn't compare to breastmilk as some of the links have shown. No it won't kill him but why give formula when you can give the milk designed for your DS with the ease you are experiencing.

Are they all completely stupid or something?

You really do have the patience of a saint.

Well done Prisoner.

Jus trying to be a bit of devil's advocate re your DP. I think dads sometimes come out with things that they've heard - lets face it they don't do the hours reading baby books when pregnant, or surfing mumsnet for advice researching things. they are most susceptible to this stupid behaviour when MIL and GMIL are concerned. out of blue comes 'we should introduce solids soon', 'you don't want to make a rod for your own back' blah blah blah.

when it comes down to it, you are baby's mother. you know best. you are doing everything right. baby is thriving.

begs the question, what's MIL/GMIL's problem?

Sorry about the late reply, this is the first chance I have had to come and read your commentd and I really appreciate the support - thank you!

Patience levels are being kept topped up by Thorntons summer collection (seriously, they are gorgeous). It makes me sad that I have to feel like an odd ball for breast feeding, DP wouldn't bother reading any information that I could give him as he hates to be wrong so would just avoid it and carry on with his pig headedness. Another one of of his little gems is that "Formula fed babies are bigger (there for healthier)"

It really makes me appreciate my ex husband (father to my older dc) as he was so supportive and I fed our DC for 14 months.

I am confident enough to carry on feeding him, I don't get the chance to say anything to mil as its always said with a smile, and a disclaimer like: "I know you know best but...." etc I would come across as aggressive and defensive if I was to argue my case as its all be so subtle if that makes sense. My DS is the first baby to be born in their immediate family so I guess I was bound to be given lots of 'advice' (not that you can tell, but I do actually like mil and get on well with her, am possibly slightly scared of her though). DPs granmother on the other hand had a massive family and has lots of great/granchildren so thinks she knows its all when it comes to children (she probably does to be fair! But, I will learn my own way) I am constantly being told to put the baby down, hold him properly etc

I just want them all to respect my choices - and seeing as no one else lifts a finger to help take care of him (nappies, winding, bathing etc) they should let me get on and do it my way.

I'm hoping that when the novelty of a new baby wears off they will get used to me feeding him and find somethng else to focus on (him reaching his milestones probably)

Thank you for the links, I am going to have a read through them now. I am tempted to make a list of all the reasons breast feeding is good, laminate it and keep it in my changing bag so I can just hand it over when the comments start

Apologies for the typing, am feeding my DS.

Prisoner I am at your ils but I am x 1000 at your DH, especially on top of the pub thing!
He is clearly undermining you, and he is talking absolute crap about formula being better that breastmilk. You are doing a bloody fabulous job at feeding your baby the perfect food for him! As you said, you bf your previous 2 DCS so you DO know what you are doing!

Your DH needs to back the fuck off and let you get on with it! As I said before on the other thread - it will be YOU who ends up making those bottles, while he is getting pissed down the pub!

I just googled it and it's now over 101 reasons to breastfeed:

www.iwantmymum.com/site/articles/over-101-reasons-to-breastfeed/150

Stick it up in the kitchen so that OH can read it when you're not around.

I'm so please that you are sticking to your guns. No wonder so many people give up breast feeding in the early days with that kind of support around.

Average for newborns is to feed every 2 hours, so feeding every hour and a half isnt far off at all! as you probably know, this is the babies way of building up your supply - if you didnt feed at all during the night (in this early stage) your supply would struggle.

I am truly shocked at your families ignorance! (especially with your partner... grrrr) Please don't give in!

Sounds like your doing a fantastic job :)

Bloody hell!
I'd have slapped someone by now, how do you keep so calm?

The thing is there are objective ways to tell that your baby is getting enough milk/hydration. He will be peeing and pooing regularly, will appear active and happy when awake, and will sleep well when asleep, and his skin will 'ping' back quickly if you pinch up a little fold of it - try it out on the back of your own hand first, so you know what it feels like.

Using these medical indicators you can prove to your dh and other relatives that your baby is fine on your milk - and maybe that would reassure them and, more importantly, get them off your back!

Good luck, and well done for pushing through all the negativity you've been surrounded with.

see here

I ff after 6 weeks for medical reasons and my DS is perfectly healthy and I am completely happy that he has formula - but even I am pissed off on your behalf!

Well done for keeping going in the face of such irritating non support.

I am in awe of your patience. I would throttle the lot of them.
You just keep doing your thing!