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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I miss breastfeeding and I've realised I'll never do it again

17 replies

PssstOverHere · 26/06/2011 22:04

I loved bfeeding my two DDs and today I saw a mum bfeeding her baby in a cafe and it hit me like a brick that I'll never do that again and I felt so sad. Is that normal?

I fed my first for a year and my second for only 6 months, I wasn't ready to stop either time but circumstances were beyond my control and I still feel like I didn't do enough. I think maybe thats why I feel sad about it.

Anyway, we're not planning on having any more babies so thats it, no more bf for me Sad. I miss that snuffly little face they make when they are tiny and want to latch on, I miss the little strokes and playing with my necklace. I miss being the only person in their world who can feed them and meet their needs. Now that I've written that it sounds pretty selfish actually. I do miss it though.

My eldest now pretends to bfeed her toys and its so cute. I guess I knew the day would come but I didn't expect to feel so sad.

OP posts:
lotsohuggin · 26/06/2011 22:10

I think that feeling is really common, partly I think it is the hormonal change you go through when BF. I know I will miss it when I finish. Have a cry and cuddle your gorgeous kids!

bouncychair · 26/06/2011 22:14

Thank you for posting this. I am 19 weeks into ebf my DS and have been struggling for the last couple of weeks. Mastitis, growth spurt and sleep regression have all happened at once and the only way to get him to sleep is to feed him to sleep.

But l do love the look on his little face as he roots around and I know I will miss it when I finish. As hard as it is sometimes I just have to cherish this time as it will pass so quickly.

Original poster
PssstOverHere · 26/06/2011 22:15

It just seems weird because most of my friends have been so keen to stop bfeeding that I was wondering if I was a bit odd!

I said to my friend, whilst we were still in the cafe, that I miss bfeeding my youngest so much and she just looked a little Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
PssstOverHere · 26/06/2011 22:20

Bouncy Thats the funny thing, there were times that it was so hard to bf, a real struggle - maybe I have the rose tinted glasses on now!

OP posts:
bouncychair · 26/06/2011 22:23

I always said that I wanted to do it for 6 months but I can see why women carry on for much longer!

At least you can wear what you want now without having to worry whether you can feed. I miss wearing dresses!

reddaisy · 26/06/2011 22:24

How long ago did you finish? I remember crying when I stopped feeding DD and missing it intensely even though I was ready to finish.

Although I am pregnant with number 2 at the moment and hopefully there is more bfeeding on the horizon I still miss feeding DD1!

It can be so tough at times but (sorry for being so cheesy) so, so beautiful too so I understand while you feel this way.

FunnysInTheGarden · 26/06/2011 22:24

I do know what you mean in the same way as I feel a tinge of envy about pregnant women, even though on the whole I disliked being pregnant. I didn't really like BF, but when I feed DS2 who is 18 months, I sometimes think ..........It would be lovely if I was still BF. And I will never do either again. Perhaps it is enough to remember how lovely bits of it were, with out having to do it all over again?

RobynLou · 26/06/2011 22:26

I will be really sad when bfing is finished, so far I've been pg or bfing for nearly 5 years.
I'm hopeless with ends of eras though, always takes me ages to get over time passing - I'm ridiculously sentimental!

organiccarrotcake · 26/06/2011 22:28

God no, I totally understand this. I desperately missed BFing after my first weaned and it was one of the things I was so excited about when pregnant for the second time. It was a total shock when DS2 and my BFing relationship was absolutely terribly traumatic, and at 6 weeks I was sobbing that I couldn't do it anymore. But I knew what it "could" be like, so carried on regardless and we got through, with lots and lots of help and support from some very good LCs and BFCs. DS2 is now nearly a year and I can't imagine life without BFing. Of course it's not always a breeze, but being a parent is hard and I do have a great tool that is sooo helpful. It's hard to discuss the downsides as people just say, "why don't you wean" but that's because they don't get the benefits. Not the medical ones (meaning, reduced cancer risk, supporting his immune system, etc, which are a given), but the general just wonderfulness of it all.

I really feel for you as I didn't think I'd have my second child (there's 6 years between ours) and the idea of never BFing again was really, really sad. What you're feeling is completely normal.

A BFC may be a good person to talk through your feelings about this?

Original poster
PssstOverHere · 26/06/2011 22:30

I finished bf my youngest about 6 months ago, I cried for days at the time.

I think that now I've realised that we won't have any more babies it has hit me that that means no more bfeeding. Soon we'll be out of the baby stage and then, like someone said, its the end of an era for me.

OP posts:
organiccarrotcake · 26/06/2011 22:32

bouncychair actually that was something I really thought about when DS1 weaned. I bought some really nice bras as I was hating my mangy grey nursing bras!!

Turns out that now there's some lovely nursing bras, too, so I'm not missing out so much this time, but having a greater choice in dresses would be pleasing!

OP, Maybe treat yourself to some nice bras and clothes that you couldn't have worn while BFing? :)

Original poster
PssstOverHere · 26/06/2011 22:32

Think I'll go to bed now, before I get all teary!

OP posts:
sophielouise · 26/06/2011 22:39

THANK YOU so much for posting this it made me cry! My dd is 18 weeks and EBF and going through a growth spurt (dreaded 4 months!) She won't take a bottle and at times I feel despairing, and slightly envious of my friends who can go out and leave feeds to their DH etc.

Those things you said were beautiful - the little rooting face, the little mouth open waiting for you like a tiny baby bird in its nest.. it's reminded me that these times are indeed precious.

I've been so scared about going back to work as it will mean dropping daytime feeds at 6months, but I've realised that these fears are just selfish because it's ME that will miss it more than her... and that makes me sad too! God the hormones the hormones!!

Tryharder · 26/06/2011 23:19

I had my third (and last) child a year ago, have just had a mirena coil fitted...There are 2 women at my work who are pregnant - I am so jealous! I totally agree with you OP. I am still bf my DD but only once or twice a day. I love newborns.....

reddaisy · 27/06/2011 17:28

SophieLouise- what a lovely post. Bfeeding can be so demanding and I felt like giving up lots of times but ultimately I found it so much more convenient and rewarding than formula feeding and you can't beat that bond and her little face when she was full and happy - it was bliss!

It is nice to get your body back when it is finished but it is bittersweet. The growth spurts do pass and I even managed to make it through a period of DD biting! That was fun!

sarahscrazy · 06/03/2015 04:41

Wow I know this is a really old post but it's nice knowing other mothers feel just the same. I breastfeed all 3 of my children my 1st for 6 months, my 2nd for 1 year and 3 month and my 3 rd has just stopped and she will be 2 in July. I'm so sad I cried the first day I stopped I miss it sooo much but she was ready to stop.

weebairn · 06/03/2015 12:51

I stopped feeding DD1 because I was pregnant and my supply dropped and it just.. wasn't right any more. She was 20 months. Sniff, I was really sad.

Feeding DD2 now and might continue till she's at preschool if she's up for it Wink

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