Feeling trapped & down by breastfeeding

[FloralOne]

Sorry for the long post...

My DD is almost 5 weeks old and generally until now BF has been going well. She is fed on demand. Until today I thought I only needed to BF until DD was 6 months, but just read article saying even when weaning starts you need keep BF until 1 year (or bottle feed... which seems pointless after 6months BF).
I know DD is v young still but it feels like all I do is BF. She doesn't sleep that much in the day and when not asleep the only thing that stops her crying is feeding her - even tho sometimes she's only just fed. The lack of time/personal space to do anything other than sit feeding DD is starting to get to me. Now knowing I've 11 months left isn't helping. I assumed the gaps in feed would soon get longer, but there seem to be lots posts here where 12 week olds+ still want BF really frequently.

How on earth do you get through this?

Somehow the regular waking at night, whilst tiring, doesn't bother me as much as at least there are gaps in between the feeds. It's the frustration of every time I try to do anything in the daytime that it seems DD starts crying and has to be fed that is getting me down - especially when I'm exhausted and really want a nap. Starting to feel trapped... :(

Hi my DS is now 8 weeks and things are definitely getting easier as he feeds less frequently. This morning I had the chance to do some housework

Don't feel best placed to offer words if wisdom but just wanted to say it does get better relatively quickly, At 2 weeks I never thought I'd make it this far.

In my experience, it really does get better.

The feeds will start to space out soon.

By 3 months, I was so glad I had kept at it - I was discreetly feeding my baby at the park with no hassle and not worrying about when I had to get home because of how much milk I had bought with me, while friends were faffing with powder and hot water in flasks in the middle of a park. (Well, it looked like a faff to me - not trying to offend anyone)

Good luck, take it one day at time. Or one feed, if that's too much

Hiya

Just to say I could have written your post in the early days. Every time DD needed a feed I felt an ache in the pit of my tummy as just didn't think I could do it. I kept thinking of the future....and wondering how on earth I would get to 6 weeks let alone 6 months. My friend said to me to stop thinking long term and just think about the next feed. That helped - also I am very lazy and I kept thinking about bottle prep etc and that kept me going. Now DD feeds in 10 mins 4 times a day :)

Hope you are feeling a bit better!

I used the Bjorn Sling. Worked well. Was a relief to be able to just take something upstairs without the crying. Also if put in the pram i used to find the walking encouraged sleeping. For several weeks I went out for about 1hr 30 mins twice or 3 times a day and she'd even sleep for an hour once back in doors for some mental relief. On the plus the baby weight fell off.

6mths now and she doesnt feed anywhere close to that time now. Didnt by 4mths so hang in there..... Find your nearest children's centre as well as they usually do a support group with other mums that helped alot.

I'm another person who didn't imagine I'd use a dummy (that is what nipples and then thumbs are for) only to find DD did not care one whit for my rules and would like a dummy very much indeed thank you. If you find it helps use one, but sparingly as organiccarrotcake suggests.

Everyone on here is right that feeding just gets easier of its own accord, you do not need to worry that the whole of the next year will be like this. It absolutely will not.

Importantly you will change too. The oxytocin which has been flooding your body since birth is a neuromodulator. This means one of the functions it performs is to wipe existing neuronal pathways in your brain and lay down new ones. It helps you to adjust to this massive upheaval and to learn new ways of behaving and responding to your babies needs. If right now you feel like you are being brainwashed that is because that is precisely what is happening.

At some point the cloud will begin to lift, your brain will settle down to the new reality and you'll start to regain some confidence. Then you'll be on here telling other mothers of newborns that it honestly does get better.

Just echoing what everyone else has said about it getting better, and how it seems like this bit will last forever but it won't. I so clearly remember thinking 'I just need a break' and then it dawning on me that there was no break forthcoming- I was terribly envious of DH getting half an hour's lunch at work all to himself!

I had a very, very hard time with breastfeeding DS1, not only physical problems and pain but also the trapped intensity you describe. But hand on heart I can honestly say it is one of the best, most fulfilling things I've ever done and I fed him til he was 2 (and if you'd have told me that at 2 weeks I would never have believed you!)

One feed at a time and just repeat 'this too shall pass'. And like someone else said, think of all the many feeds your DD has had, all that amazing milk with all those benefits. You can't undo that goodness.

Sc2987, the reference you linked to states itself that the relationship between dummies and SIDS is complex and needs far more research. It's incredibly irresponsible for you to make claims, as if fact, that there is an increased risk of SIDS for any baby using a dummy and then taken away. Talk about scaring (vulnerable, sleep-deprived) mums who want 5 minutes respite within the relentlessness that is breastfeeding in those first few newborn weeks.

I too remember just feeling exhausted and tied down by such frequent feeds - my DS wanted to feed every hour at 5 weeks (cue doctor to tell me I was overfeeding my baby and that it was ridiculous for any baby to need to be fed any more than every 3 hours...I was very angry!) but as all the others have said here, it does get better. My DS is 9 months now and am feeding him first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I really enjoy the chance for a long cuddle with an otherwise wriggly baby!
We started giving DS a bottle of expressed milk at about 5 weeks (to ensure he would "get" the bottle thing and be able to take one when it was needed a few months later) - this gave me some time off - I could go to bed early or just have a bath, knowing I wouldn't have to leap out at the first cry. I would definitely do that again for another baby.
5 weeks is quite a hard hump - the adrenaline has started to lose its effect and the tiredness is really kicking in, so it is perfectly normal to be feeling the way you are at the moment I would think. Hang on in there - it gets better.

Thanks all for your encouragement. Have had a slightly better day today as DD slept for a while this morning which helped. coldcomfort - I can't imagine BF until DD is 2! Things really must improve... a lot!
Parsnippercy I've had people imply that I'm overfeeding too. I'd like to see them try to reason with a 5 week old! I think you might have a point about the adrenaline losing effect - I feel like up until now the newness/excitement of being a Mum has been getting me through. But now, the day to day reality is kicking in, and the tiredness is increasing.
VeronicaCake - not heard of brain re-wiring before, but my head is certainly mush so I could well believe it!