not 'feeding on demand'

[KatyN]

I've been recommended by my obstetrician to try 'not feeding on demand'. Im trying to find a book/books to read on the subject to see if I'm happy with the approach but daft as it sounds I'm not sure what it's called except 'not feeding on demand'.
The obstetrician described it as 'the way you were brought up' suggesting my mother could just explain everything to me, but my mum (bless her) can't remember the details.
I've heard it's pretty contensious so thought I should be well informed before I make a decision!

i advise reading various books/websites/opinions on routines BUT ignore the scaremongery 'if you don't follow this routine your child will never sleep through' bits. do what works for you and your baby.

the main thing to succeed with breastfeeding is to feed frequently in the first couple of months and try not to limit your babys time on the breast. I like reading all these books(gina ford, baby whisperer etc), but they often give poor breastfeeding advice this book gives good breastfeeding advice.

You WILL find the way that works for you.

Oh no, I definitely wouldn't recommend Clare Byam-Cook. Her book is full of dodgy advice. It's probably okay if you're lucky and have no problems, but her advice on supply for example is extremely misleading, if you had any worries about that it's likely just to exacerbate them.

I found "The no cry sleep solution" really good both with reassuring that going with the flow in the early days is fine, but also that it doesn't have to be a massive or upsetting battle to change sleep patterns later on if you find they are becoming a problem.

Yeah, CBC is not know for her good advice although she calls herself a bfc.

The Food of Love is good as pyjamalover says- it's down to earth and the cartoons are great. I like Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding too.

Would second bertie. To me trying to routine feed sounds problematic (engorgement, supply, not to mention trying to get the baby to stick to the routine).

Maybe just see the first weeks as a baby moon. Stick yourself on the sofa and prepare to feed, eat cake be watch telly! Let others do nappies, baths, washing and looking after you! Plus watching the lo while you have a break. Even a newborn can do half an hour with dad or gran while you have a walk round the block/shower etc.

With any luck you'll soon find feeds are spaced and you are confident about them.

I suffer from depression and was worried about PND - did not have a problem and BF - if anything I think the hormones were protective
I read the GF and found it v stressful as my baby did not want to stick to the routines!

with my 2nd we did have a bit more of a routine but I think he was just like that
but to be honest in general it was easier especially in the day just to feed him when he needed it - and did quite alot of co-sleeping which meant I got a lot more sleep

This is a bit off topic the key thing with a new baby is to have proper support around you - I didn't have family near by but did antenatal classes -nct and nhs and exercise classes and met some great people there - who were v supportive once the babies were born

• I got informed about BF - although not enough and the local BF support group was v helpful - you could find out about what around in your area before the birth my DH had 1 month off - it was over xmas - and my mum and MIL came for a few days after he went back to work I did loads of meal for the freezer and did no house work

also if you are depressed now get help - your midwife and GP can be very helpful

Really Bertie & Badger? I found that book really helpful, especially the case studies. I guess it just goes to prove that what works for one won't necessary work for another :)
I had a CSection, so DH changed all nappies day and night for at least the first 2 weeks. I can highly recommend this approach :o

thanks for all the suggestions.. I suspect I am one of those people who doesn't 'take it as it comes' very well so I would work better with a routine.. I'll just have to see if I can convince the little one to join in.

And thank for the advice about support.. it's amazing how many people are checking up on me for a relapse of depression. The nhs has really impressed me!
katy

I am also very organized and like to plan my days kind of person. But I found all the routine book useless. Gina ford and Tracey Hogg both. I can't make my DD feed when she doesn't want to. I can't make her nap at the scheduled times. She certainly doesnt follow EASY. What I found most useful is actually learning to read the hunger and tired signs and then go with the flow. I simply find it less stressful to have a non crying baby.

Out of all the baby books I read I found no cry sleep solution most useful.

I am the world's biggest control freak, but I genuinely think demand feeding is the least stressful option.

In practice, for me at least ( I've bf 3 kids for blinking ages!) demand feeding doesn't mean no routine at all. Babies settle into their own little routine, and you can tweak it a bit to suit, so if I was going to the supermarket and wanted to try to get all the way round in one go, I would stick baby on in the car and encourage him to feed. Similarily, before I went to bed I would schedule in a good long sit on the sofa ( at least 45 minutes) and I would feed baby, swapping sides and back again, tickling his feet a bit to (gently) stop him dropping off, and then I would get a decent block of sleep at the start of the night. You get to know your baby, and you can plan accordingly.

I think you have to be realistic about what it will be like at first, and give your self a couple of weeks at the start when you know that feeding is your priority. If you go into it knowing that it will be like this, and you are aware that there will be times (particularily at 10 days and 6 weeks) when baby will be having a growth spurt and will feed ALOT, but this doesn't mean you don't have enough milk, it's really not stressful.

I found using a ring sling really helpful, because I could feed and look after the other kids etc. In fact, I don't remember baby number 3 ever really crying, because I just fed her whenever she made a noise...it was very stress free!

Sometimes babies just want a quick drink, they are after fore-milk, not hind-milk, so it will feel like they are hungry all the time, but they are just thirsty! Also, some babies feed quickly and some slowly, so you can't really judge what a full feed is. They stop when they are ready, and you can encourage them back on but you have to trust that they know what they are doing!

IME, women who go on to bf exclusively for any length of time bf on demand, and trust in the ability of their body to feed the baby it produced!

Good luck with it all

OP you do not need to make a decision either way and also no decision is a point of no return, I flipped from on demand, more routine based, to on demand as and when. What helped me was not having any expectations of myself (inc even BF in the first place). I'm someone who can handle things if I don't expect anything, but things don't go to plan I get a bit lost.