Refusing to take a bottle

[motherofeve]

Help please! My 19 week dd is refusing to take a bottle and I'm really in need of a break. Have tried NUK bottles which she quite happily chews but shows no interest in suckling. Really don't want to starve her into it - any advice please?

I tried off and on to give DD a bottle from 6 weeks until she was 7 months old - she refused. Tried every kind of teat etc. A week before I went back to work she finally used a lidded beaker (Tommy tippee). My sympathy to others with same problem. It was so awful knowing I had to return to work (which meant being away from her 5 days at a time) I very nearly resigned from my job it was that bad.

My daughter was in and out of hospital from 6 weeks and refused breastfeeding when she came home, I used a Haberman feeder it also stops colic and I have only just stoppped using it. They are quite expensive but worth it, other people that have tried it says they wouldn't use anything else.

Ok, I had this problem too - tried MAM, NUK, Avent, a beaker etc etc from an early age, still no luck! Eventually came to the stage when I wanted to stop breastfeeding at 9 months and tried a Habermann feeder - emulates the breast exactly by controlling the flow etc... But expensive to buy!!! By 10 months she loved this bottle and gulps it down, but I did need to first get my husband to give it to her at a late night feed so she was asleep when it was offered to her and she could not smell me! It took about 3 weeks of persistance with this method and then we got there!

I am one of the those mums who never got her baby to go onto a bottle. Tried from birth to 4 months with dd screaming bl..dy murder all afternoon, then falling asleep, then waking up hungry and still refusing bottle. If she drank, it was over 3 hours and I never got her to take more than 2 oz at a time.

It sounds harsh - but dd was very small and not growing according to the growth charts (but that is another story). The HV, hospital (dd has some early health issues), lactation consultant, speech & language therapist all recommended bottles. Me/nurses/HV etc (and their mother) tried diff bottles (not Habermann - tho' if I can bring myself to have another baby, I will try it), diff teats, different persons giving the bottle, different ways of holding, me in the room, me away, formula, expressed milk, milk warm/cold/room temperature, semi-starving, feeding when full ...

I gave up - dismissed everyone and decided to exclusively bf her. Was never happier or calmer in my household.

In the end, extended my maternity leave to one year and by then, dd was happily on a cup with cow's milk. Now dd is 2 and loves the bottle - to play being a baby with! Sheesh

I too had trouble getting my daughter to take a bottle at about 3 months. After some stressful attempts, we spent some time "socialising" DD to the bottle. We had one with water in it that we played with and popped in her mouth and a few teats lying round as toys (she never had a dummy). After a few days my DH would have a go with the bottle halfway through a feed, when she wasn't too hungry. It took a few goes, but once she "got it", we had no troubles. The big lesson for me was to take the pressure off the whole thing.

Apteryx - you made a very good point about a more relaxed atmosphere.

But believe me I started off relaxed as well before it become a circus. Dd was not at an age where she was prepared to experiment and ... she knew she wanted and wasn't having anything foreign in her mouth (including dummies or syringes for medicine or spoons). But that was and is her personality. Not saying every baby is like her, thank goodness

Lovely to have all the feedback and not feel like to only one out there that struggles with this. Just had some limited success with dd in her rocker and 'milking' the bottle into her - managed about 1.5 oz's ......

has anyone had theexperienceof giving bottles early on and then finding baby wouldn't or couldn't take the breast? i want to start giving my 1 month old bottles to give me some space and allow dP to feed him, and also to avoid all these problems later...but im worried it'l put him off the breast or stop him being able to suck properly - he already has problems with that.

Hi. We were warned with our son not to give him bottle and breast as it would confuse him, but we went ahead anyway and he never had any problems ...

Have gone throught all this too... I had to leave DS 2 days a week at the nursery. It worked well at the start and he has been taking a bottle for about a month and then decided that that was it. He would not have one again .... They have been spoon feeding him since then (...)mixing baby rice with lots and lots of milk or with his fruit and veg. Of course it worked because DS was already 5.5 months old and had started solids... At least he is not getting angry. That's very reassuring to know that even if the is not taking a bottle, he is still feeding correctly.
Looking for the Haberman feeder, I have laso discover the "Advanced soft cup feeder". Has anyboddy heard about it before and/or tried it ?

pogface I also started giving ebm at 4 weeks and did notice that DD's latch was not as good on the next feed and it was quite painful so I would be extra careful to make sure of your positioning and latch. DD had a bottle once or twice a week. Never refused breast, only later refused bottle. HTH a little bit.

hmmm...ds's latch got bad after about 2 weeks and is getting steadily worse i think...feeds are never pain free - he just can't maintain suction and you can hear the air getting in I can't understand whats causing it, as some feeds are worse than others, bt i have a horrible feeling it ight be the fact we gave him a dummy from v early on (and stupidly used a cherry teat one rather than a newborn one)...have I broken him??
i want to use a bottle cos the bf is a trial but i dont want to make it even worse...

not sure what to suggest other than see if there is a bf counsellor who can help, and of course wait until someone knowledgeable reads this. I'm fairly sure bad latch can be corrected though. It's a really hard and tiring time, I hope you can sort it out soon as I'm sure it will get better.

pf: I was thinking about this earlier and wondered if he just isn't latching well from the beginning? As it's early days and things haven't settled down yet, I guess you're really feeling the fullness when he's due a feed and I know my DD had a bit of trouble getting her mouth open wide enough. I had to kind of squeeze my boob to a manageable size! Once she'd started to feed it got a bit easier. Recently the bf counsellor at my hospital put it like this - imagine trying to eat a burger the wrong way round, ie from the top not the side - you can't get your mouth around it.
If he's latching on ok at the start and then having problems then I'm not sure but maybe this will bump your query into the right hands...

oops sorry, just seen that you quite rightly started another thread [slaps wrist]

The advice I always give my mums is as follows:-

Get a playtex original nurser with a latex teat - these are very breast like, the action they use to feed from this is the same as the breast.

Express some breastmilk into the bottle.
Get your partner or someone else to wear the t-shirt/top you have had on that day or at least drape it over the shoulder and get them to give the bottle. Run yourself a nice bath, and listen to your walkman!!!

Pick a time when you know the baby will be hungry (morning feed for example).

This system is the best I have come across for getting the baby to go to the bottle (and back to the breast again).

the playtex help line is 01954 719899 and they can also sell you the products.

Good luck - if you need more advice feel free to email me.

hi!
try the pedley baby website - www.pedleybaby.co.uk - has boob shaped bottles as well as haberman feeder. I"ve just ordered both! fingers crossed that one might work with 12 wk old dd!

Hi Narnalisa - any news? How did you get on? I've failed miserably with the haberman, but have just ordered the boob shaped one .....