Not coping today (DD2 and reflux)

[NotAnotherNewNappy]

Not sure where to post this, as there are a number of things upsetting me, but thought I'd try here...

DD2 10wks has reflux (as did DD1, 3yrs). She vomits and cries all the time and today I feel heartsore over it. I am sick of never being able to put her down, my back aches from carrying her constantly. I am sick of cleaning up vomit as well as smelling of it all the time.

I feel like a terrible mum to DD1 for being snappy with her, especially when I am trying to get her ready in a hurry while DD1 is left to cry. I am so frustrated at not being able to do any housework or even go to the toilet in peace.

I am sick of not recieving any RL support for BF. I am sick of being told that DD1 cries more/louder than other babies but also that I am spoiling her by pixking her up and feeding her all the time.

Worst of all, I am beginnin to resent DD2

You poor thing. It sounds incredibly hard. Could you arrange for someone to help by holding DD2 for a couple of hours twice a week, so you can have a bath and some peace and know in advance that you will have that escape?

Hi notanother, Sounds like you're having a hard time :(

I'm afraid I have no experience of reflux but have definitely seen quite a few threads about it before on here so hopefully someone will be along in a minute with some advice.

I can sympathise though with the carrying around thing. Ds2 is 5 months and is permanently attached. I've developed a very strong left arm! I truly don't believe that you can 'spoil' a baby with picking up or over feeding. In fact there has been lots of research to suggest the opposite is true. A baby who's needs are met right away become more secure. IMO you're doing exactly what is right for your little girl.

Is your gp, HV any good with advic eon the reflux issue and BF?
Have you looked into any bf groups?

also is dd2 still light enough that you could put her in a sling to free up your hands, take some of the strain off your back and leave you to help dd1?

That sounds really tough - is she being treated for it?

I second the suggestion of a really good sling - something like a Close carrier/Moby wrap maybe?

Try a moby wrap to keep baby close and give you opportunity to do what you need to.

Have you tried a dummy to help with the reflux? It does work, trust me and I think at 10 weeks she shouldn't get nipple confusion.

If you can afford it, get a cleaner in for a couple of hours, even if it's just the once. Your floors might not stay sparkly for long but it's a huge load of your mind.

Please go to your GP and if need be go and cry so he/she knows how bad it is! My DDs reflux isn't so bad but I've had days when I would happily abandon her. It really does help just talking to people about how you feel.

Good luck and I hope it improves soon for you.

Thanks for replying everyone.

DD2 is on Gaviscon - it does help but isn't a magic cure.

Is the moby wrap really that good? I have a Baby Bjorn, which has been a grat help, but find that it really hurts my back now she is bigger.

I have a cleaner but worry the house is still filthy I had a difficult pregnancy so I'm trying to catch up with the big jobs I didn't do for ages (skirting boards, windows etc).

Baby bjorn type carriers aren't great for either of you - tough on your back and holds the baby in a bit of an unnatural position (weight on their crotch). I wasn't confident about tying a wrap myself so got a close carrier - it's similar but you don't tie anything yourself, it has rings to tighten the wrap. I could carry ds for hours with no discomfort, until he was about 5/6 months.

If the gaviscon isn't doing enough there are other treatments - might be worth asking the GP for something else?

Absolutely, go back to GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician if the gaviscon isn't helping. I'm about to do that next week and for what it's worth, my DD doesn't sound anywhere near as poorly as yours.

How heavy is DD2? I carry my 15lb+ baby quite happily in the moby. See if there's a sling meet near to you and you can try before you buy to see what suits. My friend recommended this website to me for slings www.bigmamaslings.co.uk/zen-cart/index.php.

As for skirting boards and windows......
They really don't matter and as my sister wisely said to me, you never look back and wish you'd done more housework while baby was little!

Sorry, I was interrupted earlier...

A bath in peace sounds like heaven. I have lots of support but my mum and DH tend to help while I am there rather than take DD2 off anywhere. I think they are both nervous as she is EBF, but I do express.

gg I have tried and tried to get her to take a dummy but she won't have it. It is one of the things that makes me annoyed with her as it's like she refuses to help herself... But then I remember she's just a 10wk old baby, how could she possibly know how to help herself

Please go back to the docs, see a paediatrician, get better drugs. They work. My twin boys both have reflux and I nearly went off my rocker until we got on top of it. Slings/dummies are possibly just scratching the surface. This is a proper disease and needs proper treatment. X

Have you tried different makes of dummy? Daft as iy sounds, a different design can be more acceptable.

But I echo Holly, please get back to the gp before it gets too much for you.

Agree - ds hated those silicone orthodontic ones but loves the cherry latex type.

Hi Not please head over to the reflux thread, it is amazingly supportive and there are lots of suggestions for medication/coping methods. My DD has reflux, 11 weeks old tomorrow and this thread helped me no end.
As Holly says there are loads of options for meds. Is she on anything right now? Holly has a whole list of meds her twins are on, this helped me push my GP for something more effective for my DD. Things are now unrecognisable.

Yay yogamummy! What a nice update! X