What advice would you give a first time BFer?

[ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts]

Am currently 24+3 with DC2.

Never attempted to BF DD, for many reasons. I was young and very body conscious and the main reason I never tried was the constant anxiety of people seeing my breasts. It was a stupid reason and I do regret not even trying.

Now after, having a baby and being pregnant a second time, I am much less body conscious than I was and am thinking I would like to give BF a try this time. This will be my last baby so my only chance to try.

Don't want to put pressure on myself, so if any of you has any advice for me of things I will need, how to do it, or any other essential niggets of advice, I would really appreciate it :)

A bit nervous and apprehensive of it hurting and don't know what to expect. So please be honest :)

Thank you all so much :)

Really helpful advice here. Sorry have been away from the thread, been out all day and only just remembered I'd even started a thread! Pregnancy brain for you!

How do you know how much your baby is having? Obviously there are no ounce marks on a breast I think I'm so used to feeding a baby in a routine by bottle with a certain amount of milk. DD pretty much slept 3-4 hours between feeds so I need to unprogram my brain to expect it to be like this.

The public thing I will come to as and when I need it. A scarf will be my friend :)

And also my breasts are pretty small, only just a B-cup and they haven't grown at all throughout the pregnancy so far, although I know there is still plenty of time. I gather they'll just get bigger when my milk comes in after birth? Small breasts aren't an issue?

Tadlow - your post wasn't negative, you've been very helpful :)

Also good to know I can go to a BF group at anytime, I don't actually have to be Bfing to go.

I think expressing and introducing a bottle is defintely something I will do, if it is possible to do both alongside each other? Would love to be able to involve others in feeding especially DD as I worry about jealously and I don't want DH to be a spare part.

I'm definitely open minded though, if I can't do it then it isn't the end of the world. DD was FF and she came to no harm.

Have absolutely no friends or family that have ever breast fed though so will definitely be beneficial to try and make some BFing mum friends.

Once again, thank you all :)

Look up some videos of breast feeding babies on YouTube .
I found that helped straight away with issues I had with dc 2.

One tip from a counsellor I've always thought useful is that along with the latch, you also need to get the head position right so the throat is open and the baby can swallow well (think of how you tip your head back drinking a glass of water).

It can be hard, but so worth it. Babies love to breastfeed.

Unlikely your bf baby will sleep 3-4 hours between feeds anyway, so no reprogramming will be needed [winnk]

Don't worry too much about expressing too early, plenty of other things your DH can do to be useful and expressing CAN be just an extra hassle. Use it if it is useful to you, but not just for the sake of it iyswim.

Small boobs no issue, and remember your boobs are never empty. So no need to worry about them 'refilling', they make milk as your LO feeds and the more milk is removed the more they make so just feed, feed, feed.

If you EXPECT it to be hard to start with thats good, cos it can come as a shock to some ppl and they think there is something wrong if LO wants feeding every 30mins/hr or whatever. Lots of very frequent feeds is NORMAL and helping your supply.

Don't be afraid of asking for help in your way - whether its here on MN, midwife, friends, relations, GP, although like all other baby advice, tune out from the people who you think are talking crap, trust your instincts, but do ask if you're struggling. Am v ashamed to say I was too scared to phone LaLeche League as someone had said they are so pro breast feeding and won't let you stop (or words to that effect). Got there in the end though and BF for a year.

You may be more self conscious of BF in public, but reality is that few people will notice and even fewer people will care. Those who are bothered by it are usually narrow minded. If they'd prefer a screaming baby disturbing their customers, I'm sure it can be arranged.

Some people may try to talk you out of it - probably because they chose not to BF and therefore it must be a bad thing to BF. If you want to BF, go for it, and don't let anyone tell you its a bad idea (except extreme medical reasons).

If baby suffers reflux and has to have Gaviscon, you can still BF! (just give Gaviscon in a bottle first - it is possible - we did.)

Learn to eat and drink one handed. Drink lots of water/squash.

Consider nipple shields if advised. Some people think they are the work of the devil, but for me it was the difference between being able to BF and not.

...and finally, if you express with a pump, remember to put water in the microwave steriliser when sterilising it... it went a bit of a funny shape to say the least!

Small breasts aren't a problem. I'm only just a B-cup and I had no problem at all EBF a very hungry baby who got from the 6th to the 98th percentile for weight in his first six months. In fact most of that was from one boob, because my righty had a very slow let-down and poor supply compared to lefty and had pretty much retired by 4 months (lefty's still going strong at over 4 years!)

Loads of good advice above - I can only echo the importance of rest. I know several mums who have been very, very determined to breastfeed but had problems with supply and ended up mixed feeding, and the one thing they have in common seems to be that they go to umpteen baby groups/classes and are dashing around every day - great for meeting new friends, but not so great in the early days when you really do need to be on the sofa with the Tv remote and the biscuit tin to hand at all times! It's a good idea to find out about your local BF support group or 'baby cafe' though, not least because everyone will have their baps out and it will help you to gain confidence about feeding in public. That will come with time, and scarves/muslins will help you to cover up.

I found the early days of endless clusterfeeding very claustrophobic and desperately wanted my body back - not in the sense of regaining my figure, but just being totally touched out and wanting my body to myself for a bit. This does pass though - after the first month or so it suddenly becomes much, much easier. Until then, try to take it one feed at a time.

Oh, and squash your boob a little bit when giving it to baby, as if compressing an overstuffed sandwich before taking a bite - it helps the baby to get more nipple in his/her mouth.

Best of luck!

Expect the first month to be really hard - it's gets sooooo much easier though! Expect to have issues with sore nipples, sore boobs and worries about supply. That is normal. So many people seem to give up bfing when they hit a growth spurt because they think they can't produce enough milk and they don't realise that crazy feeding is normal and neccessary during growth spurts.

Be determined to do it for as long as you can and think "every feed counts".

Call for or seek out help as soon as you feel you are struggling, whether it's day 3 or day 28! Helplines, BFCs, clinics and baby groups all helped us.

Go with the flow and ignore anyone who suggests FF to get the baby to sleep. All babies are different - just because you've had one FF baby who did well on a routine with long naps, it doesn't mean you'd have another one whatever. And in my antenatal NCT group, the EBF babies are slept through at an earlier age as they weren't on a routine.

Expressing is great and useful, but you ideally want to avoid it for the first weeks so you don't end up with over-supply problems. Introducing a bottle too early can also lead to latch and other bfing problems. So I'd wait until about 4 weeks before considering this. TBH your partner needs to be helping you in so many other ways than feeding - they can be really good at nappies, bathtime, playtime..... If they get jealous of the baby, that's their problem and IMO they should grow up!

Small breasts definitely aren't an issue, it isn't the breast size which determines the milk supply.
If you want to introduce a bottle then it is ideal to either wait 6 weeks for baby to establish a good suckle, if you introduce too early then you can confuse them.

You can express from any age and it is a good way to boost your supply. It doesn't work for everyone though. I can't express but I know I am supplying enough for dd.
Try and be selfish in the first few weeks. It is nice for others to feed but you need to establish your supply and for baby to get a good suckle so I would let dd and dp do other bonding with baby. I didn't want my elder ds feeding dd2 as I was worried he might give her something she wasn't allowed so feeding was just done by me but he could have cuddles which helped him bond and erradicated any jealousy

Try not to worry about ot knowing how much baby's having, if you're getting wet and dirty nappies and weight is going in right direction then it's enough. If baby feeds loads in first few weeks it doesn't mean they're not getting enough.

I was determined the BF and was devastated when I failed to feed DS enough for the first few days. I ended up having to top up with formula and I cried over it. I rang La Leche and sobbed on the phone but they were fab.

However, DS came off formula at two weeks and is now 10 weeks and exclusively BF.

In retrospect I was doing my best and wish I hadn't got so overwrought but it's easy to feel like a failure if it doesn't work immediately.

I persevered and used MN, La Leche, my mum and my DP to get me through. DP could calm DS for me if we were having trouble latching as he didn't smell of milk, my mum breastfed so could cheer me on and La Leche suggested things like pumping regularly to boost supply and having lots of skin to skin.

My advice would be to get the support numbers in advance, look for local groups (I'm lucky to have local friends who BF who I hang out with) and be prepared to work at it. I stupidly thought it would just happen, and I suffered for my delusion.

Thanks for all the replies, this is really helpful and I hope it can be helpful to other first timers also :)

I do expect it to be hard but will defintiely give it a go.

Lots of things to think about, next decision is to homebirth or not! Best start a new thread

small boobs definitely not an issue. I was an a cup pre pregnancy, went up to a b during and then up to a D once my milk came in!

Other advice I would give is never decide to give up bf in the middle of the night, wait until the next day - everything seems worse at night.

And don't stress about feeding in the first day or so, they can go for a surprising amount of time on very little. DS didn't feed for the first 24 hours and the hospital staff were fine about it, they encouraged me to express some colostrum and syringe feed it till he was capable of latching on (ventouse delivery meant he was very stressed after birth.

I think it's great that you're giving BFing a try with this baby. I also commend you for being honest for your reasons to not BF the first time.

The advice I would give is to try not to be too upset by the "Breastfeeding Co-ordinators" who will probably harrass you a lot. They mean well I'm sure, but the constant questions and boob-grabbing and coming into your hospital room once an hour (I was in hospital for almost 2 weeks and saw more breastfeeding midwifes than meals) to see how it's going might feel like a lot of pressure at first, especially if you're sure you've got it figured out yourself.

If you can think of something to make it easier for yourself, and they try and convince you it's a bad idea, ignore them. They're following guidelines and have a responsibility to follow everything by the book, but you know best.

If I'd been in a more sound mind back then, and was brave enough to tell them to leave me alone, I think I would have found BFing a much more pleasurable experience for those first 2 months and maybe carried on for much longer than I did.

Expect sore nips, especially in the first few weeks but get yourself some Lansinoh cream - it's available on prescription too. Pricey, but last ages and so worth it! My midwife gave me some free samples so it is worth asking for them if yours doesn't.

It's tough in the beginning and around the 6-8 week mark when the euphoria of having the baby begins to wear off, you really need to keep focussed to keep going but trust me it gets a lot, lot easier after a few months. For me the most motivating factors were it was free and I was losing all my baby weight. Oh and the baby was getting tailored nutrition and all that !

Don't make a huge issue about feeding your baby in public, in my experience people are too self absorbed in their own lives to notice what you are doing, let alone care! I have been able to pretty much breastfeed everywhere and anywhere and not had any issues. In fact, I didn't even realise people had an issue with it until I came on mumsnet. If you're anxious, wear a vest under your top and pull the vest down and your top up when feeding.

I would echo what someone else said about the more you feed the more your body produces, supply and demand in action and truly remarkable to witness. DD2 dropped her night feeds 2 weeks ago and my boobs stopped being engorged in the mornings within 2 nights. Similarly, when she was in hospital with bronchialitisi, I had to express so that she could be tube fed, I turned into the ultimate milking machine, didn't realised I could produce so much milk every 2-3 hours!

Finally, don't beat yourself up about it if you find it doesn't work for you. I believe it's the best start you can give your baby but it's not the end all and be all. When I had my first child and moaned observed to my dh how tough it was, he told me to suck it up cos nothing worthwhile is easy! I think I chucked something at him back then but he was right!

Loads of great advice already so I though you might like a few book/website recommendations.

Well these are my faves anyway;

Kate Evan's - The Food of Love
Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding

kellymom.com
analyticalarmadillo.com
drjacknewman.com for great video clips

and the new website from unicef babyfriendly has some good stuff too

here's the link

and homebirths are fab too