Breastfeeding - some stupid questions from a 3rd-timer who ought to know better

[Miaou]

Sigh. In some ways it is going so well - ds is v. happy, putting on weight etc.

But - I think I might be feeding him more than he actually needs. He is teething at the moment and particularly in the evening this makes him miserable. Feeding definitely comforts him, he doesn't bring it all back up (therefore, I assume, he has room for it in his stomach), and he latches on and sucks with enthusiasm. Yesterday he had nine feeds of over 20mins each!! And he is still feeding during the night and shows no signs of dropping it (he sleeps a max of 5 hours before waking for a feed).

I am determined not to wean him before six months, and to contine b/f and not introducing a bottle. But how do I know if he really needs feeding or is just feeding because it's offered? And how can I get him to drop the night feed? Surely he doesn't actually "need" it now.

Confused.

bump before it drops off the board.

How old is he Miaou? Breastfed babies can need to feed at night for up to 12mths apparently. My dd2 is 8 months and still has a feed about 4am - sometimes a bit earlier, sometimes later.

I thought it was impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby?

Some of it might be just for comfort because of the teething.

What happens if you don't offer? Could you try to distract him? Dare I suggest, if he's comfort sucking, trying a dummy?

Tbh I didn't think you could overfeed when you breastfeed.

Sorry, just re-read your post and you already put about the comfort. Duh!

I guess I co-slept with mine (the term wasn't around then!) and I don't remember how many feeds they had at night, even past 6 months. But it was no hassle, so they just fed.

There's nothing wrong with comfort.

But yes, distraction is good, or worth trying. Also, very cold things to chew on sometimes help.

I think this is why I'm confused! Yes, AFAIK you can't overfeed a breastfed baby, but it's not the weight gain that is the issue here, it's the number of feeds - I mean, nine FGS! He is nearly 16 weeks btw, sorry should have said that earlier.

BonyM - seriously?? We want to ttc another one when ds is six months, can't see us managing that if I'm still b/f at night.

Serenity - I have no problems with the idea of a dummy but ds refuses one. However, he is a very efficient thumb-sucker, so he does tend to self-comfort if he needs to. Which is why I think he must still "need" the night feed (as opposed to just wanting it) because at other times if he wakes during the night he will suck his thumb until he goes back to sleep.

NQC - he isn't holding things yet so I can't give him things to "teethe" on as such. He will chew on my fingers given the chance though!!

I wonder whether I should try to get him into a routine? At the moment, seemingly anything goes. Part of me thinks that any routine I try to impose means that he won't be able to change according to his developing needs. Never had to do this with the dds, they got themselves into a routine.

Sorry this is so confused, lack of sleep means I am not terribly coherent.

Think he probably does still need the night feed if only 16 weeks - unfortunately the 12mth thing is correct apparently (I too am feeling a bit sleep deprived!). In any event I think that the youngest you could hope to drop it is 6mths. Sorry .

At sixteen weeks, most breastfed babies still need to feed in the night. Any chance of you co-sleeping? It really means more sleep for everyone.

Their needs change so much at this age, a routine is more of a hindrance than a help. And presumably you need to move stuff around a lot to cope with the older two?

NQC, my gut feelings were that a routine would be a hindrance - glad you think so too! Co-sleeping is a no-no - dh is a very big man, there's no room for another! I did try it once or twice when ds was small and I didn't get a wink of sleep. To be fair, he is only feeding once during the night now, not several times.

I think maybe I am making mountains out of molehills and worrying over nothing again...

If co-sleeping isn't an option, do what you can about reducing the amount of sleep you miss?

E.g.: keep DS in your room, don't turn on lights when you feed, try to wake yourself as little as possible?

Miaou: all sounds pretty normal and the task is to make it all a bit easier for you.

Nine feeds is by no means off the scale for a baby of 16 weeks esp one who needs a bit of comfort b/c of teething.

How many times did you put something to your mouth (tea, coffee, snack, meal, water) yesterday? You probably didn't count, and honestly, the easiest thing to do is not to count with a baby!! You can eat/drink on the move and multi-task - sipping tea while on the phone, grabbing a biscuit or a piece of fruit as you jump into the car. Babies can't do this - not their fault

Babies feed for comfort, for reassurance, for fun, for love, for food and for drink. They may not distinguish between those needs in their little heads of course.

Almost all 16 week old babies wake in the night - and he's only doing it once, bless him

Mine didn't sleep through the night until I started him a bottle for his last feed. He was a big baby who demanded lots of feeds too! He was 8 months old when I gave up because I wanted my sleep!

Are you so against a bottle for his last feed in the evening?

I tried a bottle for the last feed and it didn't make any difference! But by all means try it I think you just have to go with what babe needs.. My ds is 7mths and is still up a few times each night [yawn]!

Oh yes, and as Tiktok says, don't count feeds. I used to do this and look at the clock, but when you stop doing this you stop worrying about it!

I think my ds has 9 feeds some days and he is 2 and a half. I don't keep count - he has what he needs. With a young baby want and need is the same thing, IMO, so if your lo wants to feed in the night, then that's what is best for them. I wouldn't worry about it, except to make sure you are getting enough rest / drinks / calories to cope with it.

Miaou - DS (15wks) is having teethy trouble and is also wanting to suckle as much as possible. Luckily, a dummy sometimes sorts him out. But he still spends most of the evening attached to me.

Thanks all for your messages . I was out at baby massage, run by my hv. I asked her about it too and she said the same as you all - it's not more than I should expect, and he is obviously hungry enough to need to feed during the night, and not to worry about it! Don't know why I've turned into such a worrywart really .

Thanks for your input too tiktok - sometimes you just need to hear what you know already from someone whose opinion you value and trust

I think it's so easy to get worried that things are not going right, especially when you are doing things differently from what is described in books like Gina Ford. It's very hard to trust our instincts and just give our babies what they need.

Being a worrywart is the sign of a great mother (that's what I keep telling dp anyway )