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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

how do you stop the night feeds

22 replies

jenk1 · 17/11/2005 18:13

yes im STILL feeding my dd at 19months 2/3 times in the night.

I posted a couple of weeks ago saying that i wanted to give up, well since then dd has been diagnosed with hypotonia,hypermobility and development delay-she,s about 10months in her development and i felt mean stopping her feeding as she loves it so much.

I have tried everything to stop the night feeds,giving her a bottle,supper,more food in the day,more water,letting her cry but she wakes the whole house up and my dh has to leave for work at 5am so its not fair on him to not get any sleep.

Peadiatrician thought it was funny, said you have a very stubborn baby and HV said to just offer water but it doesnt work, im exhausted.

Can anyone offer me any advice because at the moment i feel like ill be feeding her until she,s 10!!

thanks

OP posts:
marne · 17/11/2005 18:17

No advice as i have the same problem with my dd (21 months), she wakes for a feed once or twice in the night, ive also tried using water. I would realy like to stop the night feed but feel i have tried evrything.

Original poster
jenk1 · 17/11/2005 18:20

oh well, it helps to see that im not the only one in this situation

OP posts:
rummum · 17/11/2005 18:20

Do you do a dream feed.....??
If you fed her at .. say ...10:00pm in theory, she should feed again at 2:00am then again at 6:00am...
don't turn the light on..
don't change her nappy..
don't talk..
just feed and put down when they are asleep
ohh and always offer more that they take..
Do you have a bed time routine??

you may be doing all this already.. so do feel free to ignore me

Rummum

starlover · 17/11/2005 18:22

are you breastfeeding? will she take a bottle?

if so could you try gradually watering formula/breastmilk down? she might get bored of it once she is only getting water

OR, do the bottle and gradually decrease the amount each time

otherwise i would suggest just not feeding her. do whatever it takes to soothe her, but don't give in.
it will make for a few disrupted nights... but it should do the trick

SenoraPostrophe · 17/11/2005 18:23

Does she have too much or too little sleep in the day do you think? you could try altering that (either waking her up or putting her down for a nap later so she sleeps longer.)

If that doesn't work, I think you have to decide on a strategy and stick to it.

At 19 months she's old enough to have a non-leak cup of water in her bed for if she's thirsty so i personally would go down the letting her cry route.

alternatively, you could sit with her and shush her - that will be harder on you but depending on her personality, may be easier on her. nb I tried this with my ds and it wasn't easier on him - it wound him up.

for your dh, i recommend those yellow foam ear plugs.

Original poster
jenk1 · 17/11/2005 18:34

LOL at dh wearing ear plugs!!!

She cant drink from a cup because of her hypotonia, she has trouble sucking from anything other than me or a very soft teet.

I do have a bedtime routine with her play,bath,quiet time,feed,bed,she will sleep until say 12am and then thats it, i havent tried a dream feed before so will do that tonight and see if it makes a difference.

Thanks

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 17/11/2005 18:35

dd sometimes used to go to bed with a bottle of water in the cot.

rummum · 17/11/2005 18:42

let us know how it goes...

both mine slept through at 7 weeks [smug]
I thought I was just lucky with the first, but when the second did the same I put it down to the routine.. the 2am feed got later and later till they were sleeping 10:30pm till 6/7 am... I then moved the bedtine forward half hour/ and hour every week.... volia... till they were going 7pm -7am

It didn't all go to plan... daughter was/is a fussy eater and didn't do any lumps... you can't have it all..

forgot to mention I used to wake them up at 10pm when they were newborn and give them a bath first... massage... then bottle in a darkened room

Original poster
jenk1 · 18/11/2005 10:02

last night i gave her a dream feed-in my bed lol!

but she slept for more than 5 hours!!!!!!!!

So am going to try the same tonight as 5 hours sleep is heaven-i feel so much more energetic this morning

OP posts:
rummum · 18/11/2005 13:08

good for you

missy8 · 26/11/2005 18:20

hi everyone when i read some of your notes i cant help feeling relieved that im not the only one in this situation sorry i dont mean to sound cocky,my dd is 9mth and i cant get her of the breast either i feel like having a nervous breakdown to,i cant go out or anything as she just wont settle without my boob what are you supposed to do..

BonyM · 26/11/2005 19:00

I managed to drop Dd2's 3am breastfeed by gradually decreasing the time I was feeding her for - started at 5mins, dropped down to 1min over consecutive nights and then the following night just cuddled her until she was calm. It took 40 mins the first night, 20 the second, and the third night she didn't wake for it at all.

missy8 · 26/11/2005 20:05

hi bonym,thanks for the tip i may try that im just afraid of her screaming all night though im such a wimp ,shes also sleeping in our bed my own fault though,it was so much easier to feed her this way than keep getting in and out of bed,this is also another problem as she wont go in cot either

Tatties · 26/11/2005 21:59

Sorry Jenk, no advice but I can sympathise. My ds is nearly 8mths and I BF at least 2-3 times per night. I just can't see him growing out of it himself and I won't be surprised if this is still happening in a year's time.. He just will not settle without me, and he's only after one thing, iykwim! I think it's funny when people say to give them water when they wake in the night - you try giving my ds water at 2am and see what he does
No way could I put us through cc, but the dreamfeed sounds like a plan. I tried it when he was much younger with no success, but had actually been wondering whether to give it another go. The problem is that he normally wakes for his first feed any time between 9 and 11pm anyway, so I don't really know when I should do the DF or whether it would work..
Bonym, your method sounds good too. How old was your dd2 when you did this? And on the 1st night you didn't feed her, how was she during that 40mins before she fell asleep? Because anytime we have ever tried to comfort ds w/out bf he just got more and more worked up, so we have never persisted (I guess I could never be 100% sure he wasn't hungry).

BonyM · 27/11/2005 11:02

dd2 was about 7mths I think (she's only 8mths now but I can't really remember!) when we did this. She was quite upset at first but got gradually calmer - I just cuddled and stroked her and kept reassuring her. It was hard, but I knew she didn't need the feed as by that point we had got down to just 1minute (including let-down). Kinder and easier that CC imo (although I did do this successfully with dd1 - wasn't really aware of any other options at that time).

missy8 · 28/11/2005 18:16

hi bonym,i managed last night to drop one feed kept her calm by patting her back to sleep,fingers crossed i can manage the same two nights in a row.

Pixiefish · 28/11/2005 18:23

glad i'm not the only one with a 21m old still feeding in the night.

Have you read elizabeth pantley- no cry sleep solution? i have but haven't got round to doing it as i'm soooo tired but ep suggests feeding as normal but when she's just dozing off and is having a 'pause' remove the breast. when she roots again put your finger gently under her chin to close her mouth. if she cries then give it back and keep doing this until she settles.The theory is that the feeds will get shorter.

missy8 · 29/11/2005 18:15

hi all,she woke again 3 times during night so im tired again,i think i will give your method a go pixiefish im ready to try anything,i know brst feeding is a good thing to do but do any of you feel like you were pressured into doing it by midwives or health visitor cos i sure do.

BonyM · 29/11/2005 20:55

Hi missy - sorry last night wasn't so good for you - unfortunately none of the solutions are particularly quick - you need to give it a couple of weeks if you are trying the "soft" methods.

The Elizabeth Pantley book that Pixiefish mentions is good. She does say though that breastfeed babies may need to feed at night for up to 12months. This reassured me though as I'm no longer stressing if she wants to feed at night.

Breastfeeding isn't right for everyone. I wasn't pressured into it at all, I wanted to breastfeed and was (am) bloody-minded enough to stick at it even when it was difficult. Personally I find it much easier than the idea of bottles.

Charlie74 · 29/11/2005 21:58

I managed to get my ds through the night at 8 weeks (prob fluke) by doing the "no talking, no changing unless saturated or pooey, no eye contact" rule. It does actually work and I didn't realise it until one time I made eye contact by mistake thinking it would make no difference and he ended up thinking it was playtime - spent the next 2 hours trying to get him to sleep!!
Have you tried expressing in the morning when your milk is at its richest, and then feeding in the night gradually leaving it later and later so that her feeds eventually merge. Or try offering her a bottle of formula for the night feeds.
Also did (and still do) the dreamfeed - it really does work. Good luck

weezb · 30/11/2005 17:52

I have always done the dream feed - waking DD up at 10pm and now it's more like 10.45 and she feeds for approx 10/15 minutes. She's always gone back off to sleep and goes till anout 6.30. Just dreading the time when I have to stop it....she's 11 months

missy8 · 01/12/2005 18:47

hi everyone can someone tell me what the dream feed is and how its done please.

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