Think I have to give formula, don't I?

[GreenTeapot]

I will probably get called a martyr for this but I don't care.

DD is 8.5 months and has been EBF until we started solids at 5.5 months. She's pretty much BLWed so although she's starting to eat more at each meal she's still relying heavily on milk. She's also really, really mobile and is obviously taking more milk as I am starving again all the time (and I started a diet on Thursday and have lost 5lb already!).

I've started PT work this week and for various reasons it looks like it's going to be hard to provide breastmilk for her. I am going to have to go and get some formula this afternoon so she isn't starving all day tomorrow.

I know this is no big thing, exclusivity isn't an issue now she's on solids, it's not poison etc. But I despite going back full-time when DS was 6 months the situation was different, he never had formula and he breastfed until he was over 2. I am really sad that I am not offering her the same opportunity to BF as DS had. I feel bad about moaning because others have much bigger problems but I am feeling unreasonably miserable about it :(

How many hours are you away from her? My ds has gone to nursery 9-1 since 7 months and doesn't have milk there, just food and water.

Will she take a spoon? Might be worth considering whether you'd feel more comfortable with some spoonfeeding so she's having enough to eat while you're away than giving formula.

Hey, don't look so glum yet, she might not drink it!

Have you been expressing? what hours are you at work? Is she fed on demand? (at night?)

Some days I will be away for 3 or 4 hours, some days it will be all day (8-9 hours). She's ambivalent about spoons - likes to self-feed so they're messier than just letting her finger-feed.

I am one of the lucky souls whose milk has excessive lipase so I have to scald it before I can store it. I stupidly haven't got any frozen (I had 100oz before realising that the lipase thing was spoiling at all :(). I can only express about 3oz at a time these days (when I was battling oversupply and my boobs were engorged a lot I could express 5-6oz of pure foremilk ) and what with her feeding a lot anyway I really don't know if I can express enough, even between now and tomorrow, to leave her all day. She is a hungry beast!

She is demand fed and feeds all bloody night

I just really don't want her to be miserable and hungry. DS was cared for by his dad at this age but they will both be going to a childminder and so I'm extra precious about this stuff. She still seems so tiny to go without for a whole day.

If it's a whole 8/9 hour day, then she probably does need some milk.

If you are still breastfeeding her the rest of the time though, surely you are still giving her the same opportunity as your ds? A bit of formula doesn't detract from the breastfeeding.

I guess - I just worry about the impact it could have on my supply. If she would just stay still for a bit she wouldn't need as much but she's on the brink of cruising and is crawling at high speed constantly, so she's really needing the calories.

I feel kind of resigned to it but am a bit upset about it and it's not something that I could really talk to anyone else about - even BFing friends all started introducing formula at 6 months, so I don't know anyone who might understand.

Your supply is pretty solid by now, it will adjust to whatever the demand is. On nursery days my ds often only has 3 feeds, other days he has double that and it isn't a problem.

Yeah, I just meant long term.

I am overthinking it and my rational mind knows it is Not A Big Deal but part of me is really stubborn and perfectionist and I just need to get over it I think.

Situations like this its good to know yourself. I think I'd feel the same re perfectionism.

Some babies go 8/9 hours at night without milk, if she's still feeding at night she may just ramp that up (oh joy!) and have her hours without milk during the day when you are away. Think you need to send some milk with her though and let her decide.

I do understand. My DD is 14 months and it really matters to me that she's never had formula.
I was lucky that I didn't return to work until she was 10mo and I just put her onto cows milk during the day.

But in terms of your supply I don't think giving her formula on those days you work a full day will affect your supply. It should be well established by now.

my dd is 10 months, and i have been doing the keep in touch days on saturdays for a month. At home she will feed normally twice a day and several times at night. first day i armed dp with milk and she hardly drank it. This saturday i'm not going to bother, just feed before work. She seems to have adjusted to it ok. I'd say give it a go and see what happens.

Long term it will be fine. Try to think of the formula as just another food - say, a big, vitamin-fortified yoghurt, or a drink, she might easily drink the same amount of water or juice over the day, just in smaller amounts at a time. It might even be a short term thing - from around 9 or 10 months most babies are fine with just food and water in the day. If you keep breastfeeding in the mornings, evenings, nights and days you're off work, your supply will adjust to this and back up again if she wants more at a later date. There's no reason why you couldn't feed her as long as you did your DS.

Thanks all. I got her some formula and a new cup which, was met with great excitement. She made faces and sprayed it all over the dog

Thank you for your understanding. Thinking back, I expressed for DS but he would never take a lot and held out for me, 14+ hours some days. But my milk was there for him if he'd wanted.

I remember the awesome oxytocin rush of that feed though. Snuggled up in the dark with him and we'd both be sort of relieved to be together again and he'd feed to sleep and it was pure bliss. Maybe it will work out that way for DD and I too :)