Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

was just wondering about why my breastfeeding went so wrong...

21 replies

starlover · 15/11/2005 22:59

as a lot of you know i ended up mixed feeding and then finally bottle-feeding ds. something i still feel bad about.

it always hurt. ds often came unlatched and it was like he couldn't keep hold of the nipple properly.
i had what i thought was thrush a lot

but i was reading about tongue-tie the other day and wondered if ds might have it. dp and i have always joked about his "forked" tongue and i never really thought anything of it... but that's a sign of tongue tie right? so maybe he wasn't latching properly and that's why my nipples were always so painful?

so, if someone had helped me with my latch it might have all been ok....

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 23:02

It sounds like latch problems - bad latch can really hurt. (Why did you think you had thrush?) And a baby who's not really latched on will "fall off" quite a bit.

Both my boys have tongue tie, but that hasn't really affected their ability to bf. Tongue ties vary a lot, severe-seeming cases can have no problems and milder cases can prevent bf. Can you feel the frenulum under your DS's tongue? Did he stick his tongue out (nearly) while bf-ing?

Original poster

starlover · 15/11/2005 23:05

well i had other symptoms... shooting pains between feeds. it was thrush on a couple of occasions because ds had white patches in mouth... but i do wonder if the thrush was only mild and the main pain was from the latching problems.

my midwife, health visitor and a LLL counsellor lady all said my latch was ok... but it ALWAYS hurt.

he never really sticks his tongue out much... he won't let me feel underneath!

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 23:06

I've been told, if his tongue is thick, and not pointed, when he sticks it out as far as possible, then that's a tongue tie of some sort.

Original poster

starlover · 15/11/2005 23:08

ooh really? cos i think i have it... dp laughs because i can't stick my tongue out very far at all! perhaps it is hereditary????

having said that i breastfed like a trooper... every 2 hours til i was about a year! lol

ds's definitely isn't pointy.. and the middle goes in

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 23:09

If they have a latch problem from tongue tie, their tongue won't cover their bottom teeth while they feed. Which hurts, and stops the milk from flowing well, I think. I don't know how hard it is to spot - our local BFC normally spots it by feeling inside the baby's mouth.

Original poster

starlover · 15/11/2005 23:11

i guess i will never really know! I can't believe I am still dwelling on it and he is 9 months old now!

OP posts:

aloha · 15/11/2005 23:11

Starlover, I don't know about tongue tie, but all I can say is that nobody tried harder than you did. While I can understand that you feel rather sad, I also think you should feel very proud of yourself.

Original poster

starlover · 15/11/2005 23:13

it's just now i feel like i didn't realise all the options... all the reasons why it may not have been working, and that it could have been sorted out a lot easier!

it's stupid really because i can't go back and change it

OP posts:

verastones · 15/11/2005 23:54

how long since you have stopped feeding?
my friend stopped and baby was ill and wouldnt take a bottle, apparently the milk came back and she breastfed again for a while

i really dont know if thats rare or usual or what

dont feel bad about it , just enjoy your baby

we only get one chance to enjoy it

tiktok · 15/11/2005 23:56

SL - TT can affect feeding and latch (though by no means always) and it should always be checked for if the mother is complaining of pain and there seems to be no obvious positioning issues. Whoever was supposed to be helping you missed something they should have seen.....if anyone is going to feel bad about it, it should be them, not you.

chipmonkey · 16/11/2005 02:27

starlover, can your GP check for tongue-tie in your ds. If he could confirm that thats what it was, then you'd know for sure. And you did so well to continue for so long!

foundintranslation · 16/11/2005 06:35

sl, you tried so hard and did so very well. Try to think of all the lovely milk your ds did get instead of the milk he didn't! It will have benefitted him no end.

Original poster

starlover · 16/11/2005 17:04

no-one ever even suggested that it could be the cause. If I had known that it was a possibility then I would have asked them to check...
I know ds got a good start and plenty of breastmilk... but it still irks me somewhat

OP posts:

Tatties · 16/11/2005 19:16

Oh Starlover, I really feel for you, and I would be going through the same 'what-ifs' if I was in your position. I am still BF at 7mths so I suppose it is easy for me to say but of course you did the best with what life threw at you at that time and you really shouldn't feel guilty. How you feed your baby is only one aspect of childcare and just because you weren't able to continue BF doesn't negate the wonderful benefits of the breast milk you did give him. Well done for doing what was best for you both

Pruni · 16/11/2005 19:23

Message withdrawn

Original poster

starlover · 16/11/2005 19:31

everytime i see someone breastfeeding it really gets to me, because i wanted to do it and couldn't.
i think i am getting too hung up on it

i know at the time it was the right decision to make... dp assures me that it was. but i just keep thinking "if only it had been different", "if only i had perservered"

i mean, it may not be tongue tie at all... he does stick his tongue out, but not very far. and as i said before, it is kind of forked! i wa trying to look earlier when he was laughing and it does look like it is joined on quite far forward, but it's pretty hard to tell tbh

I should have gone to a different BFC

OP posts:

Pruni · 16/11/2005 19:40

Message withdrawn

Original poster

starlover · 16/11/2005 19:45

yeah i was thinking about if i have another baby and that at least i will be prepared for it going wrong!

you know it's the one thing they don't tell you before you have kids. you just get the "nose to nipple and baby will suck"... well NEWSFLASH! some babies DON'T!

At the moment I feel like I can't breastfeed another baby because why should a new baby get it when DS didn't? stupid reasoning i know! It's not like he has any idea or will even care.

I just wish I had been more informed at the time... that's not to say that everyone on Mumsnet wasn't as helpful as they could be, I really do value all the support I got from here

OP posts:

Pruni · 16/11/2005 19:48

Message withdrawn

Original poster

starlover · 16/11/2005 19:51

haha yes, same here. I was planning on feeding ds til he gave it up himself, so would definitely do it for the next baby i think.
It just isn't fair is it?

Now all i need to do is convince dp that there will be another one! lol

OP posts:

dinny · 16/11/2005 19:58

oh, Starlover, can really identify with how you feel as felt v similar with dd. please try and not be too hard on yourself. sounds like you did your ds proud!
but I know how you feel - I still torture myself about dd and she's 3.5. ds feeding so brilliantly did help ease those feelings a bit though you wait, your next one will be stuck on till s/he is starting school, lol

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread