Wet nursing

[pupuce]

I wondered what mumsnetters thought of wet nursing.... it was featured on Woman's hour yesterday.

I got the impression Jenni Murray thought it wasn't a very nice thing to do. She claimed people felt disgusted etc although she didn't offer any facts to back up her opinion, I don't think. It was a shame the woman whose baby had been fed by the interviewee didn't give her POV, that would have been interesting. LLL seemed vaguely disapproving, too, in the way they emphasised that they would prefer to help a women increase her own supply. Which is fair enough, I guess, but on the rare occasion when that's just not possible I'd have thought shared feeding was a viable option. The first time I knew anyone who fed someone else's baby I was quite taken aback but when I thought about it I was of the opinion, why not, if everyone is happy about doing it?

I didn't hear the show, but grew up thinking it was normal. My aunts nursed each other's babies. I offered to do it for a male friend of ours who was thinking of bringing up an infant alone. (Um, I offered to wet nurse the possible infant, not the friend...)

I happen to know that the woman who had agreed to have a baby being BF by her friend - could NOT increase her milk supply.... and the lady who BF is a BFCounsellor...

This used to be a lot more acceptable. When my mother was in hospital nearly 40 years ago, she gave some milk for a lady who had twins, but was too ill to feed them. Nowadays, the babies would just be fed formula....

Personally, if the mother and the donor agree, IMHO I see nothing wrong with this.

BR

There are milk banks too (not everywhere) and they tend to be used for special care babies.

I think it is a lovely thing to do for a close friend's baby and vice versa.
My three all had donated frozen bm from my two sils - Just a short step away from being fed "directly" by either of those wonderful women...would have been fine by me.

Pupuce seeing as you asked what is your opinion?

I couldn't work the link, so I don't know the details of the story, but quite frankly I think that feeling disgusted about wet nursing when both women involved agree to it, is just the same as feeling disgusted at a women bfing in public! Surely, if we agree the any breastmilk is better than none, then it's one of the kindest things one woman can do for another? To my mind (and thinking as a bfing mother) the big leap is between giving ebm in a bottle, and allowing another woman to develop that special bond from the physical act of bfing. But then fathers bond deeply with their children, and so do mothers who bottlefeed.

My best friend and I had our 2nd babies 27 hours apart, and we all spent large parts of the first 2 yrs of their lives together, as we saw each other daily.
Once I was looking after my friend's baby while she went to the doc. He became hungry and was yelling for food, and I was so tempted just to latch him on, but I didn't. It felt too intimate a thing to do without having first discussed it with his mum. At the same time, I was cross with myself for allowing him to stay hungry when I had the means to comfort him. I'm also not sure how I would have felt if the roles had been reversed, and all the time a part of me thinks, how stupid, why is this an issue, it's just food.
Said babies are now 16 yrs old...hope they don't read this.

I think it is a great thing to do - either in the situation described by mooma, or on a more formal basis. It must be pretty difficult to arrange though.

I have often wondered how mothers managed in the past when they didn't have enough milk for whatever reason, or when they were too ill to feed (or died in childbirth). I have come to the conclusion that wet nursing must have been very common. I guess there were many more women around nursing at the same time, and probably often looked after each other's kids while they had jobs to do - I guess wetnursing on an adhoc basis must have been part and parcel of it all.

Not only that, in the past, upper class women always had a wet nurse. As a rule, they did not nurse their own children.

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I have no problem with it Jasper. I'd happy give my babe or my boob

Porbably to someone I know rather than a stranger (for health reason).

I'd do it for a friend, but Pupuce got me thinking, would I let a friend feed my ds? Not sure.

I agree that if both parties agree then it is fine, but I personally do not like the idea of my DD being breastfed by another woman. I have no objections to donated milk given in a bottle but I agree that giving it 'from the source', so to speak, is too intimate and act to share with another.

I agree with SueDonim that JM sounded disapproving..the researcher from woman's hr phoned me about this piece (I'm a member of LLL in London & work for the beeb) and I was disappointed with how it turned out because it didn't really address the mix of emotions we all feel when we hear about wet nursing (eg Mooma's story) or reflect real women's experiences. I at least thought there would be a vox pop with 'real' women rather than just the 'experts'/interested parties. before I breastfed my dds, I could not have anticipated my enthusiasm for breastfeeding, and would willingly share my milk it was needed/wanted. to most people (=men) human milk is a bodily fluid, ie a bit scary and something we don't even like to think about. the power of my milk sustaining my dds (dd2 is 5 and a half months, doing just fine on breast milk alone) makes me feel like the cleverest person alive (!). i would donate to a breastmilk bank if practical or feed someone else's child, but knowing the mum really well would help to overcome the issue of imtimacy.

bundle - it was wierd, we were best friends but I didn't tell her I had thought about feeding her baby in case she thought I was odd/inappropriate...
We were really close in so many ways but I suppose it was still quite early days of our friendship. I know I could tell her now and not risk being misunderstood.
I mainly felt frustrated that I could not overcome my inhibitions to help a distressed baby.

For the record I think it's a great idea but like others have said you'd have to know the other woman was healthy (and not drunk!).

I read an article somewhere ages ago with this dad saying that one day his small baby was yelling out for food whilst his wife was in a shop or something. Anyway it was a really hot day and he didn't have a shirt on and suddenly the baby just latched on to him! He kind of realised that the baby was just getting comfort from him and was happy - and since then would use this to comfort the baby whenever his wife was away for a few minutes - could even suckle the baby to sleep!

That's cool - but I can't imagine many men doing that (especially hairy chested ones).

The whole concept disgusts me, I can't explain why but it just seems very wrong to me.

I also find the thought of wet nursing vaguely repellant and don't know why. I think it's just the actual breastfeeding bit and that I'd feel OK about expressed milk in a bottle. Maybe its the thought of my baby getting that close to another woman. Oddly enough though, now I've given it more thought, I think I'd feel OK about feeding another mother's baby but I wouldn't feel OK about them feeding mine... strange.

If it's done between two consenting mothers then it's none of my business though, obviously.

I have breastfed 4 children (all my own) and see nothing wrong in principle with wet nursing.
The main worry in this day and age is one of health. We know a great deal more now than we did in the olden days of wet nursing about bacteria and viruses. Back then it was surely better to have a baby wet nursed than to have it starve to death for want of expensive and inferior milk substitutes. Nowadays we know for example that a person (even our own family or best friend )can be hiv positive for years before they have any signs or symptoms of aids.
As a mother I would never forgive myself if I unwittingly infected my own baby, but I would be suicidal if I thought that someone else had unwittingly infected my baby because I had allowed them to wet nurse it.
If however I were ever in a position eg through war where it was a matter of life or death I would not hesitate to allow another woman to feed my child or to offer my own milk to someone elses.