Please help, down to basics here, what actually come out before the milk comes in, as in volume and satisfaction for baby.

[PhyllisDiller]

Pregnant with DC 3. Have tried and failed at BF twice now, torn up about it each time but never really found out why things didn't work.

With each baby it was the same, they had a bit of a nurse then good long sleep after the birth. DH would go home, night time would come and I would be utterly exhausted. Baby would cry for a feed we'd snuggle in the bed for a feed. Couple of hours later they would be wailing for a feed, I would sit for hours and nothing seemed to satisfy them. By the time morning came and DH returned I would be delirious for sleep, and the baby starving. At no point have my babies appeared to have had enough. Latch on has been checked and is apparently fine. With DC2 I was on a ward with 2nd time mothers, mine was the only one making a noise, the other mothers would feed and sleep.

Please, please does anyone know what might be going on? I have read books, looked on line and asked the MW (the MW's are great in our area but clearly pushed for time).

Sorry, should learn to use the preview - just realised that reads as I gave up bf dd2. I didn't, I fed her for a year as well; I meant that the nipple shields helped me before it got to the point that I had to give up.

And good luck! Sounds like you will be incredibly well prepared this time, so all should hopefully go well.

I agree with all the above. Just one thing to add: a paediatrician friend told our NCT group that the first few days of a baby's life is the only time in human life when the brain can survive without regular / significant intake of glucose, which is why it isn't disastrous when your milk doesn't come in for a few days.

I would definitely get as many people as possible to look at your latch. I found feeding lying down much easier than sitting up as it made my back / shoulders less achey.

DS didn't feed that much in the first day, but had at least one all-night feeding frenzy soon after. My milk came in pretty quickly after that - as other people have said, the constant wanting to feed is about telling your body to start supplying milk for this baby, not necessarily that the baby is starving.

Congratulations & hope things go well.

A Scottish lady I met in Menorca told me her sister had a baby out there and asked for a bottle because she thought her milk hadn't come in and she was worried about her baby starving. They told her that there they don't worry for 48 hours after birth if the milk doesn't come in.

I agree - completely normal. Newborns like to "feed" for hours even when they are not actually feeding! Frequency is also important as the frequency is the main thing that stimulates your milk supply. It's important in the first week or so for baby to suckle as often and for as long as she likes to stimulate your milk supply as well as for comfort and bonding between you both. It's exhausting for you, but better if you just accept that the first week or so will be a time for doing nothing else but sitting/lying with baby suckling. It is actually a very nice time, even though it's really tiring. You will be recovering from pregnancy and birth anyway so just allowing yourself time to relax with your baby suckling is a very good idea. Then, the odd time you do manage get dressed in less than 3 hours and out of a house for a walk with the baby will be an added bonus!

Latch is very important not just for avoiding nipple pain but also to ensure baby is feeding efficiently. I got bruised nipples (though luckily avoided further damage) even though the hv, midwife and b/f advisor from NCT said my latch was good. I went up 5 cup sizes pre-pregnancy to after the birth though - was a G cup immediately after giving birth and nips were stupidly large. All b/f literature says to get your breast in baby's mouth, not just your nipple, but for the 1st week my nipples were so big there was no room for any breast in LO's mouth once my nipple went in, so she was clamping down on the nipple, squashing it into a funny diamond shape and bruising me! I expressed on the worst side whilst feeding on other, then once the worst side had healed, I swapped over, which gave my nipples a break and seemed to be just enough to avoid any further damage. As my LO grew and massive norkage and nipples greatly reduced in size (went down two sizes to a more reasonable F cup within the 1st week) I didn't get any more problems at all with sore nipples. That first week was really, really hard though. There were many tears and many times when I thought I couldn't go on with breastfeeding, but I'm glad I persevered with it - LO is 8.5 months now and still bf-ing, but of course not so often now. Hopefully it won't be for a while, but I'll be quite sad when that day comes when she turns away and doesn't want any more!

If only I'd know with the other 2! DH will be off for at least the first week or 2 and parents are bound to descend and help. I am busy getting my little corner organised already so I don't have to move (when I do get up out of bed that is).

So helpful thank you....

All these people saying baby isn't screaming to feed. My Ds screamed all night and I was latching him on but he wasn't satisfied and kept right on screaming. By morning I was bleeding and desperate (we were at home) and sent dh for formula. Ds guzzled 4oz and then settled. He was hungry! I didn't have this with dd. She fed a lot which I realise is normal but she wasn't screaming constantly like Ds did. It's my biggest worry with #3 due soon. I don't see how you can leave a baby screaming for 3-5 days until your milk comes in. Like I say dd was satisfied with the colostrum albeit feeding a lot, Ds just wasn't. He wasn't a screamy baby either. He was a very contented and settled baby. Just a very hungry one. Dd was actually the unsettled one (turned out to be reflux) but could be soothed with cuddles, pram rides and dummies. Ds only wanted food and would happily settle himself to sleep so long as he was fed.

Phyllis, my MW recomended feeding lying down as then I could rest at the same time. It did take me a few months to figure out how to do it without getting milk everywhere but it did make the night feeds a lot easier.

mouseanon - that sounds horrible. I'm not sure about others, but my experience that I mentioned above was that my DDs had just one night (i.e. about 8 hours or so) of being really unsettled (i.e. constantly unsettled, wouldn't sleep etc, rather than just 'normal' newborn unsettled on and off between sleeps). If it had been longer than that, then yes I can totally see why formula might be needed/desirable.

I'm no great expert, but I would think that 3-5 days of constant screaming would be unusual?

And even if you did do a couple of bottle feeds to start, you could drop the bottles once the milk came in? (no expert, just that's what my SIL just did?) I know its not 'recommended' for the best start to bf, but if you have a baby who really is extremely unsettled and hungry (like your DS was), then that sounds like the most sensible solution!