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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

DD wants to "try the baby's milk"

20 replies

TabithaTwitchet · 25/05/2011 17:26

DD is 3 and a half and had her last taste of breastmilk before she was 2.

Now I am 38 weeks pregnant and she is very curious about the baby breastfeeding etc. I have tried to answer all her questions about it, but recently she has been begging (and dropping a 3-year old's hints about how thirsty she is) to try drinking some breastmilk (well, suppose it is colostrum, strictly speaking).

I don't really want her to, so I have told her she is a big girl and can have milk from the fridge in a cup instead, which the baby won't be able to do. But she doesn't want to accept this, and keeps asking.

I don't want to turn this into a big deal, or make it into a source of jealousy between her and the new baby. But I also don't want to give in (I would be fine if it really was a one-off taste, but I suspect it wouldn't be)

Has anyone else been through similar, or have any advice?

OP posts:

Tarlia · 25/05/2011 17:45

Please note although I work with children, I've only got one baby of my own, so no experience so to speak.

BUT would it be possible that you express so milk for her (once your milk has come in) and give it to her in a cup, maybe cold from the fridge. Faff, yes, but saves argument and making her feel left out, she will either lose interest, or you can sneakily give her cows milk.

Maybe tell her she has too many teeth to feed directly from the breast now?

I know someone who gave a small cup cows milk, with a tiny (hardly tasted but tinged with colour) bit of strawberry milkshake syrup in whilst feeding. Someone else had a special box of toys and books that only came out while mummy was breastfeeding.

Good luck with the birth of baby :)

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 25/05/2011 17:48

I agree you should express a bit. It could really upset her if you say no.

From what I've heard, she is very likely to say yeuuurrrrrgh anyway!

Malvapoeding · 25/05/2011 17:52

DD1 did this once DD2 was born (she had stopped feeding when I was 28weeks pg) , I let her try once my milk came in. She gave one huge suck, got a mouthful of milk, gagged and walked away retching. It was the funniest thing, she often asked to feed but just really wanted a cuddle snuggled into my breast like DD2.

eugenefitzherbert · 25/05/2011 17:53

Does she want to latch on? If she hasn't fed for a while she might find it difficult to get a good latch. You don't want to end up with sore nipples before the arrival of your new baby.

If she would be happy just to have the milk then I would express for her. Maybe she won't be bothered once she gets to give it a try and it might end up a cause of resentment if you refuse completely.

My dd1 breastfed for a year. She was 2.6 when dd2 was born but refused point blank to believe that babies could breastfeed til she saw a picture and even now is very dubious that she ever did it because she has no memory of it at all.

SarkyLady · 25/05/2011 17:55

She will like it. It is scrummy!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 25/05/2011 17:59

DS stopped bfing when he was 2.7. He did ask a couple of times, afterwards but certainly a month after he had stopped, he had forgotten how to latch on - he would approach my boob with mouth open, then stopped and giggled!
I am also 38 weeks pg, and he hasn't shown any inclination for bm but that may change when the baby arrives. If he does I will offer to express some for him.
He does like to snuggle up to my boobs, especially when he is tired or upset so maybe that is why he doesn't ask?

naughtymummy · 25/05/2011 18:05

My mum said I did this ! Had one taste and said yuck. Agree to say no could cause resentment .

SarkyLady · 25/05/2011 18:19

Well mine was scrummy

BertieBotts · 25/05/2011 18:29

I'm pretty sure most children forget how to latch once they have weaned. So you could let her try, if you feel comfortable with it. It's likely she'll either say "yuck" or not be able to do it anyway. If you don't feel comfortable with it then expressing into a cup sounds like a good plan!

I'd wait until after the colostrum though, just because you don't want to waste it!

MigGril · 25/05/2011 18:29

DD did this dispit being BF till almost 3 she couldn't remeber how to latch. I gave her some expressed in a cup but she didn't like it was as it was warm. Maybe she'd like it cold but she hasn't asked again yet.

I think if you say no she may just get obseaded over it.

MigGril · 25/05/2011 18:31

Oh should add she was 3 1/2 when DS was born so it wasn't that long since she had stopped either.

latrucha · 25/05/2011 18:32

DD 3.5 asks and wants me to put my top up but she actually just rests her cheek on me. MAybe your DD would do the same.

PrettyCandles · 25/05/2011 18:42

Having twice been in this position (I have 3 dc), I would tell her that she will be able to have a taste when the baby is born. First the baby will drink - because he or she will only be able to drink mummy's milk, not any other food , like dd can - and when he or she has finished, dd can have a taste.

This is what I told my elder dcs when they asked the same questions during my pregnancies. I also told them that I would feed the baby on the sofa so that they could cuddle up with us at the same time.

When the baby was born the next child up did not want to try the milk, despite their earlier eagerness. Only dc1 ever tried it, with dc3, in the end.

californiaburrito · 25/05/2011 18:51

I've been worrying about this too. I am 22 weeks pregnant with my second and DD1 only stopped breast feeding in March. She has been asking for some "meh" ever since. Normally, I've distracted her, but this morning we were in the bath together and she asked again. I let her have a little try, but she couldn't remember what to do and just put her mouth to my breast, but "no meh". I doubt your DD would remember how to latch on either. I hoping that her lack of success will discourage her from asking in future.

Maybe it would be best to let her have a go before your milk really comes in? But if you don't want to give her breast milk I wouldn't make it easier for her by putting it in a cup.

But good luck and congratulations on your soon to be new baby.

blueberrysorbet · 25/05/2011 19:02

my ds bf until 18 months then stopped, dd born when he was just 2. he didn;t remember bf. he did want to try, so i put some on my finger- a tiny bit and let him lick it, so he knew he wasn't missing nectar- urrggh! he shouted, and didn;t ask again. howvever i did tease him after saying, want some? he always ran off shouting Nooooooo. it was a joke then for us.

if he had kept on and liked it, i would have refused again sayting it was for the baby only, and baby could only have that, not lovely fresh orange juice until baby was bigger, but ds could have some. I didn't say big boys don't as i didn;t want him to think getting bigger was an issue, ie the tiny baby getting all the attention and big boys not.

Original poster

TabithaTwitchet · 25/05/2011 21:40

Thanks, I knew I'd get good advice here.

Interesting that they don't remember how to latch - although knowing DD she'd probably like to pretend anyway.

I think I will keep putting her off until baby is actually here and then maybe if she is still interested express some into a cup after the baby has fed. And then hope she doesn't like the taste, or quickly loses interest...

Good point Blueberrysorbet about not talking about "big girls", I should be trying to avoid that I suppose.

Thank you for all your good wishes for the new baby :)

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 25/05/2011 21:43

bizarrely this evening ds2 who is 3.5 spent the best part of half an hour whinging for "booby milk" and telling me how much he does like it and he does want it and he does know how to suck etc etc

ds3 is nearly 2! ds2 weaned while I was pregnant and has shown no interest in breastfeeding since then

aaaanyway, I did let ds2 try. he had NO idea what to do at all, but was happy to lie there with my nipple in his mouth for a while then I said "there you go, you had your booby milk" and off he went.

strange boy

PrettyCandles · 25/05/2011 23:59

Don't be so sure that they won't remember how to suckle. Dc1 was 6 when dc3 was born, and he got a mouthful of milk with any difficulty. He asked again nearly a year later, when he was 7, and this time could not get anything out. Oddly enough, while I hadn't minded him trying the first time, it felt really wrong the second time. So I discouraged ds1 from trying again by telling him that only babies could suckle and that his lack of success was nature's way of telling him that his breastfeeding days were over because he didn't have a baby-shaped mouth any more. Not strictly true, but it worked.

GemAimee · 26/05/2011 12:35

DS1 is eight, and has seen me feeding, expressing and storing milk for DS2 for the last few months, and he knows he was breastfed until he was 16 months old, but only recently asked what it tasted like and could he try some? He didn't want to suckle thankfully - I would have said no, he's got so many grown-up traits it would have weirded me out.

He had a sip from a cup. He looked at me and said, "It's OK, but I think I prefer normal- er- cow milk. Erm. Can I tip the rest down the sink?"

Charming.

cinnamongreyhound · 26/05/2011 17:18

I expressed some directly into a cup in front of ds1 when he asked. He drank it and said yuk and never asked again. Funny really as he never wants any of the purées I make for ds2!!

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