I think I want to stop but feel I ought to carry on

[soppypreggyloon]

ive had enough.
Never had a pain free bf. (including with ds who I managed 6 weeks of bf)
Tongue tie snipped twice but has re grown again. Dd is gaining weight well but I'm SO sore! Being referee to specialist in Southampton but no idea what he will say.
Strong let down which hurts like mad for all bf on both sides. And when I leak. And if I hear another baby cry with hunger.
Blisters on nipples from blocked ducts.
Possibly thrush as well now (seeing gp tomorrow hopefully)

I really enjoy the formula feeds as I'm pain free and relaxed.

BUT I feel I should be bf. I know all the benefits etc. I know I bf ds for longer despite his Tongue tie re growing too (didn't realise at time tho)

I want to quit but can't quite make that decision without feeling incredibly guilty. AAARGH! I hate being suck on a dilemma!

For what it's worth....but I am a first time Mum and this is only my experience, you say yourself you ENJOY the formula feeds. My DD is now 6 months and I was chatting with my friend the other day. We have struggled with breastfeeding (me because DD won't take a bottle and her because she only just found out her DS is dairy intolerant!).

We were saying how we are a little sad that these last 6 months have been clouded by our stress/anxiety over feeding and we will not get that time back. Don't get me wrong it has been wonderful and I am glad I perservered but would I have enjoyed my DD more if she took a bottle - I think yes.

It is such a shame you have been so unfortunate and have had so many hurdles thrown in your way. The fact you are feeding at all is amazing.

Please, please don't feel guilty. Years down the line you will probably look back and wonder why you were worried. Do what will make you happy!

You have done incredibly well to keep feeding so far! If you stop now you should not feel guilty at all, and you must know from your previous experience that the guilt fades (or is rather replaced by something else to feel guilty about!). I struggled with DS1 for a long time and refused to give up, but we used a lot of bottles/expressing until the pain finally went around 8 weeks. I managed to go to 5 months, but we never got a real rhythm going like I have now with DS2. Honestly, well done for giving it such a good go.

hmm tough one

i would say maybe decide on a time limit... a week? and see how you feel after that? it's def worth seeing the guys down at Southampton with regard to tongue tie.
have you seen a decent breastfeeding counsellor who can advise on positioning and "posting" of the breast to help keep baby on the breast? we used a few different techniques with ds1 and ds2 who were both tongue tied.

the only thing i will say is that for me, personally, the pain and guilt of giving up has (long term) been worse than the pain of feeding.
of course for you it may not be at all, but it's something to bear in mind. with ds1 i kept giving myself time limits and eventually I did give up and it was devastating for me, thankfully with ds2 the snip worked and all was well bar a few positioning problems

things can get better as quickly as they go wrong with breastfeeding sometimes, in some cases just the baby growing bigger and being able to open wider and keep himself latched on can help immensely, whcih is why i suggest just hanging in there for a little bit longer

ultimately though it's your decision because you are the one feeding him and having to go through the pain.
anyone who has fed a tongue tie baby for any length of time deserves a medal IMO cos it is soooooo bloody painful.
you just need to make sure that you are happy with the decision, and then if you are it will be the right decision and you won't worry about it.

I gave up after 5 days with ds1 due to pain, i would cry through every feed and dh said 'enough, its not supposed to be like this' we bought formula and both me and ds1 were much happier.
I did feel a bit guilty, but enjoying my baby and us both being happy and relaxed was worth far more.
Its such a short period in their whole lives, in two years they'll be eating crap every now and then.

Im sure some loon will come on telling you to not give your baby cancer by ff but the most important thing is that you make the right decision for you and your bsby

Could you formula feed but express and give the EBM in conjunction with the formula/ Would that help you to feel less guilty but also enjoy your new baby?

Thanks all!

Dd is able to hang on/ latch strongly despite the tt. Feels like having a clothes peg on my nipple!
I'm already giving a bit of formula to give boobs a rest. I did express while I had blisters and I can get a good yield but I need to be relaxed which is hard while chasing toddler ds and dd.

I'm going to wait and see what Southampton man says but pretty sure I'm going to chat with dh about when to quit tonight.

Ds was ff from 6 weeks and so far he is everything a ff child shouldn't be according to the list of risks. So I know it's not the bf ofthe world. Just sucks that it's been a nightmare again.

My mother told me, when I was struggling with feeding, that it is only one of the many, many things that you will do for your child.

You will listen to her read, sing her nursery rhymes, help her choose her GCSE's, make her wonderful meals, get her shoes that fit properly, take her to the dentist and a myriad of other things to make her life more successful.

This is just one of the many many things.