Please help me with kind ways to wean DS2 (20 mths) off the breast

[LaTourEiffel]

DS2 was ebf to 6 months, then he started full time at nursery at about 10 months old and went cold turkey during the day, which he was fine about. He breastfeeds as soon as we get home, then again at bed time.

I've never had any success at getting him to take either expressed bm, formula or cows milk from a bottle or cup.

Up until quite recently, he would wake like clockwork at 9.30pm for a feed, then another one at about 11, 2am, 5am and 7am.

However, I've been working to try to reduce this and have now managed to drop the 9.30pm, 2am and 7am feeds....

Which leaves me with the 6pm, 8pm and 5.30am.

Its not that I think he's too old for BF, its just that I'd really, really like my body back now.

So, after being advised to put mustard on my boobs by my midwife, who I bumped into the other day - I thought I'd come on here and see what advice was available?

I've been trying to say no, breaking him off the minute he stops feeding, trying not to make it all so comfy etc...

Oh crikey, I wasn't expecting a lot of replies, but I was hoping for some kind of response?

Anyone.......

What does he drink during the day? Is he refusing other alternative because you are there (like my DS does)?

We actualy found the early morning one the easits to drop. DH just got up with DD instead of me. So you mite want to try that one first.

Do he drink milk at all?

The bedtime one we also drop by DH putting her to bed, never replaced it with anything but she was almost 3years so didn't feel like we really needed to replace it with anything.

Just remeber to do it one feed at a time, giving it a lest a week as you don't want to end up sore.

With ds1, I did 'don't offer, don't refuse', which is as simple as it sounds really! We were down to just a bedtime feed for the last month or so.

The method for quitting that one was a bit drastic - we moved house Seriously! 3 days after we moved it occurred to me that he hadn't asked, and that was it, done. He was 23 months.

Haven't got that option with ds2, so don't know how I'll persuade him to stop!

I've been trying to do the 'don't offer, don't refuse' - but he just seems to ask more! His latest thing is sitting up, saying 'more' and tapping me on the other breast

LostIn...he will ask for other drinks (usually whatever DS1 is drinking) and will have small amounts of other drinks. He won't drink milk at all though.

Sometimes he comes off the boob, and asks for a drink - what's all that about?!

I'm struggling to knock the bed time one on the head at the moment because DS is rejecting DH. However, I have managed to get him falling asleep without boob in his mouth and as we seem to making good progress at that, I thought we'd start by getting DH in the room at the same time, maybe on the chair beside the bed.

I thought they were supposed to give up naturally at about this age?

LeninGrad - I know that probably seems outrageously obvious, but that's not such a bad idea. Will give that a go over the next few days.

My plan was to cut down gradually when DS turned 2, but fate intervened . I was forced to go away without him for a week and I decided when I came back to not feed him again. It seems quite drastic, but has worked really well and he's not been too bothered by it after having nothing for a week before I came back.
Before that he was a milk monster who was fed to sleep and feeding lots at night too. I was really worried about how I was going to give it up as he wasn't reducing his feeds at all and couldn't be settled without the boob. In the end it's all turned out really well and he's actually sleeping better.
So maybe you need to take a holiday?

I'd love a holiday. Mum suggested that I plan to go and stay with her in the summer (lives near the beach) and if its all sorted, that's great, but if its not, leave the kids with her and go stay somewhere nearby to see if that gets him off.

I just don't want him to be upset about it. He doesn't know any different, jeez I sound like a right old soft touch.

Maybe its because I'd quite like it both ways - I'd like my body back but not quite ready to accept I'm not having any more kids and won't breastfeed again.

Nodding my head at Lenin's 'don't sit down'. I had to practice that a lot when trying to persuade DS to give up in the day. He used to take me by the hand and lead me to the sofa. He did get upset for a few days, but really that was it - it was helped by the fact he started nursery 3 full days shortly after (which was the reason for stopping days in the first place). For the first week I let him BF when I picked him up, but we stopped that too (used TV a bit )

Giving up the night feeds was tricky. It took a week of screamy tantrums, and DP helping to settle him etc. Was very trying. He doesn't have any now until 6am, but the very annoying thing is he still wakes at least twice a night and wants sips of water and cuddles before he'll go back down - at least DP can do this if necessary. Can't wait until he is out of our room (he is 19m BTW). One thing that did help was saying goodnight to the boobs after the last feed, and if he asked for them later saying that they were asleep - he did sort of 'get' that.

He only feeds at bedtime and waking now - they are going to be MUCH harder to drop so I will watch this thread avidly. I want to loose the morning one first because he gets up at 6am for it . We go on holiday next month when he'll share a room with his sister, so I'm hoping the general disruption will help. I think changes of routines can help with these issues.

I hear you about wanting your body back, I've been breast feeding pretty much constantly for the last 4.5 years.