1 week old feeding

[pissovski]

had my DS 1 week ago. he was in scbu and was started on formula (CandG nutriprem) but i am expressing too. only got back from hospital yesterday and am basically demand feeding but feel like we don't know what we're doing :( saw the community midwife today and she recommended trying to make him go 3 hours between feeds and giving him water if he cries. she said this wouldn't fill him up but i cant see how not. she said he shouldn't be 'snacking' as i am not breastfeeding (just expressing) so he doesn't have to create the 'supply'.

from what i have read the water isn't recommended anymore and threw me when she said it but should we be trying to put him into this type of 'routine'?

i feel very mean for trying to force him to wait while he is hungry, and we have 'given in' each time between 2 and 3 hours. i just want to cry and don't know what to do for the best.

First off, congratulations!

Secondly, relax, take a deep breath, have a little cry for a bit to make yourself feel better and then relax a bit more. Then have another little cry and gaze at your newborn.

My feeling is you should try a bit of everything and see what works for you and the little one. Every baby is different as is every midwife and their advice. Have a bash at feeding when when he asks for it and see how you go, then try stretching it out a bit longer. If you want to give them a bit of water and see what happens, you probably won't do any harm. Trust your instincts and remember you are unlikely to do any damage to your baby (you sound far too lovely and caring to possibly do any damage).

Take care and most of all, relax, you are going to be fabulous.

OMG is your midwife from the 70's?????

he is a tiny little baby! he needs to feed little and often, that's what tiny babies do.
if you are happy demand feeding him then carry on. you and he will both be happier

can he feed from the breast at all? I only ask as you might find it easier long term than expressing.

oh and congratulations on your baby! :)

Congratuations on the birth of your DS. Hopefully an expert will post (tikTik maybe) to help you but I wanted to respond as my DS was in Neo-natal for 9 days and I have exclusively breastfed since he came home (he's 5 months now) so I know how tough it can be.

I would say first off that your midwife is totally wrong to suggest water, it will not fill him up and will be no benefit. Secondly you should really feed when he wants to - and that could be every 1-2 hours. Don't wait 3 hours if he is hungry, just feed him. For one thing you need to keep your supply up so should continue to pump every 3 hours but feed more often if that makes sense? Do you want to breastfeed?

I got some very god advice on this thread about how often I should feed. I was told he should feed 10-12 times a day. It is tough, have you had any breastfeeding support?

Thanks all :) Am feeling a little better now. DH and I just couldn't not feed him - even with distraction (bouncy chair, walking) he was only settling for a few minutes.

I had an emcs (a very swift 1/2 hour job), and DS was slightly hypothermic (amongst other things) and so was not able to do much - no skin to skin etc.

Will probably keep trying to breastfeed, but DS seems to get distressed every time i try. I am kinda getting on with pumping (get about 30 - 45 ml when i pump from both breasts) and trying to pump regularly. Have bought a medela swing which is good, but i do seem to drip into the funnel a bit - just not quite go the hang of it yet i guess.

Dueling - this MW said i should only be feeding him 8 times a day???

Congratulations.
Your baby is very young and trying to stretch out the time between feeds as was suggested to you sounds like very poor advice - newborn babies tend to need to feed more frequently than that - between 10 and 12 times a day is completely normal, as they grow older they then tend to go longer between feeds. - remember that very recently he was inside you and is getting used to a totally different environment - have you tried a sling so that he is close to one of you in between feeds?
I would also agree that the idea of giving him water is wrong as your milk provides him with all he needs - all water would do is fill his tummy up and decrease his milk intake.
Have you spoken to any of the breastfeeding helplines as they will be able to talk things through with you - or is there a bf group near you where you could get some practical rl help?

Morning Pissovski, how was your night?

I think the midwife is just not very up on her training by the sounds of things.

When I got my son home I made sure I had loads of skin to skin to make up for the lack of it in hospital. I narrowly missed a C-section myself but was separated from my son for hours so was quite concerned about things like skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. I know how hard it is to be home with a baby who was a bit poorly and how much you can worry that you might be doing it wrong.

My advice would be to share a bed with him and just have as much skin to skin now as you can. Feed him as often as you can and as often as he seems to want. It is tiring but it does get better and his feeds will stretch out eventually.

I realy would recommend getting some breastfeeding help. I had a breastfeeding person sent from the hospital to help me and I found it so much easier after speaking to her and having her show me some different holds and how to get the latch right. I have to say the support I got in hospital was patchy to be honest so speaking to someone who knows what they are doing is a great help. Like pearlgirl says a breastfeeding group would be a good idea though understandably you have only just come home so I know it's hard to get out, I think my ds was 6 weeks old before I started going to my local group but we have some very young babies at the one I go to and they do offer a lot of good advice.

Could it be that because the midwife has suggested stretching out his feeds the baby is already very hungry and distessed by the time he is trying to latch on? If you feed him more frequently he may latch on with less fuss because he won't be upset, perhaps? I am no expert but hopefully some of the other advice given will help.

No wonder you are feeling undermined and confused, pissovski - the midwife is giving you strange and actually potentially harmful advice - best thing is to seek a second opinion, and while speaking to breastfeeding counsellors is great (I am one!) a baby of a week old (and his mother) need a midwife to visit and support and check over, as well.

It is very wrong to advise you to give water, and very wrong to advise you to put him into a routine, and very wrong to insist on him waiting for 3 hours.

(Water is not harmful in itself, but it is calories babies need, not water, and restricting breastmilk in favour of water is wrong).

Perhaps you can give the midwifery service a call and ask for someone else with better knowledge to help you.

Congratulations :-)

If you want to breastfeed, and you have some support at home, I'd take yourself off to bed with the baby. I also had a CS and didn't manage skin to skin with one if my twins, and I remember feeling like it was all too late for skin to skin and that I'd missed the boat - this is definately not the case! Do your skin to skin NOW. It is warm, or get a heater in your bedroom, get under the covers and snuggle. You can pump in bed if your partner can bring you all the clean parts.

If you stick a film on and snuggle, you can keep baby close. He might latch on, or he might not. No pressure because you can still pump and feed him with a bottle as you have been. I think this will increase your chances of him latching on. If you only show him your nipple when he's hungry, he'll be too distracted by the hunger to experiment and see what your nipple can do!

Congratulations and good luck :-) Please snuggle lots - I miss those very new smuggles (despite still having tiny babies!)

Absolutely agree with what others have said about not giving water and feeding often, skin to skin etc. A week ago your baby had a constant 24/7 supply of everything he needed via placenta and he now wants to keep close to you.

Also agree he may be too hungry to try with the breast so you could try feeding some expressed milk (you could try via cup, syringe or even spoon if you don't want to use a bottle in case of nipple confusion) before you offer the nipple.

You can search for local breastfeeding support groups [http://www.realbabymilk.org/breastfeeding-support-groups here]] for when you are ready to get out and about.

Thanks again to all of you so much :)

You have all confirmed what i thought re mw advice (so i feel better!) Mixed feeding seems to be working at the moment (100 ml of formula or EBM per feed for hungry Horace!) and i am getting better at pumping to try to build up supply. Today he has fed at 2am (only 65ml with another 35ml at 3.40), 6.50 am, 10.45am and 1.30pm. He is at the moment asleep on my lap :)

I have tried a few more times to get him to latch while he is not hungry and calmer but he doesn't seem to have the idea (not a problem with the bottle at all - think he likes the easier way).

We will do more skin to skin and will see what the hv says when they come on monday.

Thanks again for your support :)

Hope HV helps :)

If you are expressing at the moment and concerned to build and maintain breastfeeding, you'll need to express at least 8 times in 24 hours (that includes at least once in the night). Good to keep him close and to let him have further goes at attaching.

Just a quick update. HV was fully supportive of demand feeding and said pretty much what all you lovely people said, so we all feel a bit better. He does seem to naturally go 4 hours in evening/night and 2 - 3 in the day (well sometimes!)

Hello, I don't know much about routines / lack of, I came on here for advice myself about how much DS2 should be feeding. But I just wanted to wish you luck - I had am EMCS with my DS1, and he also ended up in SCBU for the first week of his life. I really wanted to breastfeed but he had to have formula top-ups in SCBU, and ended up being fed by a mix of breastfeeding, expressed milk and formula top-ups. Anyway, it all settled down gradually once we got home, and by about 3 weeks I was only breastfeeding. It still probably took until he was about 6 or 7 weeks for it all to feel easy, and I had really a lot of help (keep asking for it until you get the help you need), but we got there, and in the end I breastfed for 15 months - really thought I wouldn't get past the first couple of weeks at one point. I hope it works out for you too, assuming that's what you're aiming for.