Pregnant with my third, dreading the feeding.

[LittleMissFlustered]

Evening all.

I'm pregnant (ten weeks) with my third, and am dreading feeding. I breastfed my eldest until 13m, my next one until about 8m when he decided he wasn't remotely interested.

I hate it. Truly. Thing is, I hate bottle feeding too. My head is a mess (history of depression, ante/post-natal and in regular life). I will breastfeed, I just want to know if anyone has any ideas of ways to make myself feel slightly less about it. Books, groups, support networks?

Failing that, can anyone offer a virtual slap and tell me to get my head out of my arse and get on with it?

What is it you hate about each of them?

I never liked breastfeeding my first two at least at first. Didn't mind when they were older and it was easier but I have really enjoyed bf my 10 month old DC3 from the start.

Can you not focus on the positives - i.e. it's healthier than ff, helps you bond with your baby. What about reading some pro-bf literature like Politics of Breastfeeding or The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding? Or how about joining the La Leche League - membership really helped me with some tough times.

My brain can reel all sorts of sensible stuff at me. I have advocated it to numerous friends and family who wanted info and such. I just, I don't know. I dislike it, and I can't articlate why. It's not the dependency, as that is a given with a baby. It's not an 'ick' thing, as my sister-in-law would call it, as I have no qualms about my body and it's various random functions. It just doesn't fill me with love and bonding joy. It just tends to irritate me :(

I'm pondering asking the midwife about local suport groups when I book in in a few weeks. Ironic, seeing as when I had my daughter they were pondering stealing me as a breastfeeding peer support type, as I was known for donating a boob whenever and wherever, and not giving a toss about who was able to see.

tbh if you hate both breast and bottle feeding then you may as well do the one that you know is better for your baby

i felt hideously guilty formula feeding ds1... at least you'd save yourself from that!

just want to point out that breastfeeding does not necessarily make you bond with your baby!!

There are a million other ways to bond and if you are struggling with bf....like Littlemissflustered and myself you just 'dont like it and find it..icky' then it certainly wont help you bond at all....i found that as soon as I stoppped trying to bf my bond with my baby got stronger.

It annoys me so much when people suggest you many not have a strong bond with your baby if you dont shove your boob in its mouth...what nonesense!

support groups are great - and they usually have great toys that your other LOs will enjoy playing with each time too! Just might distract you from the feeding - i wouldn't get too het up about it - whatever you do, you've got to feed your baby, somehow - so go to a couple of groups where others can make it more fun, might take your mind off it

I think a support group is the way to go.

Good on you for going for it even though it doesn't fill you with joy! Kind of a metaphor for parenthood, really.

I am sure you aren't the only one who feels like this. Plus you MIGHT like it this time, who knows?

And it is only a year (or less) out you whole life.

I have one ffed kid and one bfed kid and bfing is miles easier after the first 6 weeks, really, really easy.

Not everyone finds it easy at all....

Support group is a good idea but dont get bullied into anything you dont wnat to do and dont get 'guilted' into anything either.

your body...your choice!

Are you a SAHM, do you have a Dad/partner around to help? Perhaps if you decide to ff, he could do some/most of it and you could do other stuff. FF certainly helps Dads feel useful, get time to spend with baby and not just sit there feeling "what do I do now?".

Just an idea. Also anyone around would gladly help with FF, just ask!

LittleMissFlustered, just flagging up - you have two threads running atm, and Tiktok has posted some very sensible and sensitive thoughts on the other thread.

Thanks for the replies, and for the heads up about the duplicate thread. Stupid iPad:(

Need to do some research about what's available locally.