Pregnant with my third, dreading the feeding.

[LittleMissFlustered]

Evening all.

I'm pregnant (ten weeks) with my third, and am dreading feeding. I breastfed my eldest until 13m, my next one until about 8m when he decided he wasn't remotely interested.

I hate it. Truly. Thing is, I hate bottle feeding too. My head is a mess (history of depression, ante/post-natal and in regular life). I will breastfeed, I just want to know if anyone has any ideas of ways to make myself feel slightly less about it. Books, groups, support networks?

Failing that, can anyone offer a virtual slap and tell me to get my head out of my arse and get on with it?

Can you articulate why you hate feeding - what about feeds gets to you? If you unpick what it is maybe you can get specific support or work out a plan.

Have you heard of D-Mer? Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex - you can google it,I have banged on about it before here, it is a sharp hormonal feeling of anxiety or even despair that can affect some people when you get a milk let down - it made BF feel horrible, nothing to do with the physical sensations or other stuff. I only found out about it comparatively recently but I KNOW that's what made feeds bloody awful for me. Apols if this isn't relevant - I think you're so right to be seeking support now though. Hope your pregnancy is going smoothly x

LMF - horrible to feel that way :(

Look, I am not going to offer reassurance on this, still less a virtual slap!

It's not normal to feel this way and you are absolutely right to be concerned - and it's not your fault, either, because it sounds to me as if it's likely to be rooted in your mental health, rather than just an unusual sort of dislike.

You are dreading feeding and you hate it - it's not a bf/ff thing because it's feeding you feel so strongly about.

If there are parent-infant mental health services in your area (check with your doc, HV or the CAMHS people), then it strikes me you have a wonderful opportunity to get this sorted - you have 7 whole months and a lot can change.

Mothers and babies need to enjoy feeding, however it is done, and it is the crucial 'territory' where early relationships and early emotional well-being grows.

Please get help!

LMF, how are you feeling?

tiktok gives great advice here (as always). You don't have to accept feeling like this.