How do I know when to give up BF?

[WestYorkshireGirl]

I could do with a bit of perspective on my experience of BF my 17 week old DD if anyone has any time/thoughts?

It didn't start well with problems latcching on and sore ad blistered nipples and DD falling asleep at the breast. She was 6lb, 4oz when born. In the second week I got severe thrush (with the excruciating pain) and had to stop feeding from one side and expressed. We then got going again after I made the GP prescribe Fluconazole caps and Miconazole gel for DD after I read that was the best treatment but DD never seemed to be that keen on that side again. Have since have thrush and Fluconazole 3 times and kept going. Been to the local Baby Cafe and seen a Lac Consultant who advises that whilst latch is a bit shallow, it's generally fine. 2 weeks ago, developed a terrible red and very itchy rash around the areolas of both nipples and down the side of the breast. Have got some relief by not wearing a bra and breast pads, but feeding is not very difficult. 2 GPs have said it was heat rash, but I wasn't convinced. Been back to Baby Cafe today and they confirmed they think it is Thursh and am to apply the Miconazole again for DD and the cream for me.

HV concerned about DD's weight which has never been on the bottom line of the growth charts (but is going up) and she is now 9lbs, 3oz. Baby Cafe not concerned about weight. HV thinks I need to eat more as I've been losing weight, so have been eating more pasta and chicken for lunch. Last week, DD started crying at the breast and pulling off which was very distressing - took her to GP and she could find nothing wrong, but wondered if the fact she has always been very upset and cries a lot is she is dairy intolerant so have gone dairy free since last Thurs.

Took DD to see cranial osteopath and nothing wrong.

Baby Cafe have advised that it could be she is not taking enough at feeds and therefore still hungry so advised me to express for 15 mins after each feed and give her what I get. Just done this and nothing came out although if I compress the breast I get a few drops. Have tried hand compressions when she's feeding and she stops swallowing (after about 5-10 mins) but this doesn't lead to her getting going again.

BF is really important to me, but I just don't know if all this is just too much. Last week I got really depressed and didn't want to go out. I keep hoping it will all get easier at some point, but it never does. Am worried if I give up BF I won't be able to live with the guilt.

Am not asking what to do, but has anyone experienced anything similar and did you get through it?

Thanks

Hi, I'm not an expert but there are lots here so hopefully one will be along soon who can tell you more than I can.
I was also advised to express after feeds and like you I struggled to get a few drops out. Ds also would sometimes pull himself off the breast screaming his hungry cry sometimes, my mum told me it was obvious I didn't have enough milk. However I spoke to my hv and she told me it was probably a growth spurt and he was upping my supply. She was right :)
However you have numerous other issues which I hope someone here can help you with. I mainly wanted to just say you are an amazing mum already to go through so much and still persevere with breastfeeding. You are doing everything right and no matter what happens you really are trying every avenue so please don't beat yourself up.

I'm on the same dilemma as you.

In short I moved to ff with ds as I couldn't stand the pain any more.
Dd is 3 weeks and it's exactly the same. I hate feeds- especially at night as there's no distraction from the pain. Dd is a hungry bunny too. Add in to the mix blisters on my nipples and I'm very close to going up too.

I'm seeing the infant feeding supper team at the hospital on Friday so will try to keep going till then but if they say it'll get better we just don't know when then i think I'll give up. I can't hand on indefinitely hoping it'll get better.

In the end children need happy parents more than bf or ff. I decided last time the bf was making me more miserable than starting ff would. It wasn't easy and I cried a lot and still feel guilty. But happy families are way more important IMO.

Good luck deciding! :)

Poor you, sounds like you are having a rough time of it. Have you tried taking very strong probiotics? They shifted the thrush for me - you can get them from a good health food shop, but they have to have billions of bacteria in the capsules. I took it after taking fluconazole about 3 times when I had DS1. My DS2, who I am feeding now at nearly 7 months went through some really unsettled periods where he didn't want to feed. Sometimes it was as simple as swapping sides, other times just tired etc. Why do the Baby Cafe people think she is not getting enough?

Have you tried "exaggerated attachment", if the latch might be shallow? It really helped me, will find a link.

Is it possible you have already been given too much advice? Your situation sounds rather confusing and overwhelming and I'm not surprised you feel really stressed. You are already concerned that you have thrush, that you need to boost the speed of flow with breast compressions, that your baby isn't gaining enough weight, that your latch is a little shallow, that you have a dairy intolerance and that you aren't eating enough. That is a lot to be getting on with.

Rather than looking for more answers maybe you need to cut back a bit. Of the people you have seen has anyone stood out as especially supportive? Could you ask this person for a heart-to-heart discussion about the situation and a chance to talk about how it is making you feel (instead of what you 'should' be doing to 'fix' things)? If you haven't met anyone who offers this support maybe try one of the breastfeeding helplines, or checking with your local NCT branch if there is a breastfeeding counsellor local to you.

Most of the problems you describe are soluble with good support. But the situation you describe is so confusing I'd be loath to offer advice and make matters worse. And sometimes bottle feeding turns out to be the better option for a great many reasons. If that happens talking things through with a breastfeeding counsellor or a really good HV or MW may help you to make peace with that decision and not feel overwhelmed with guilt.

Oh and eating well is important for your wellbeing so your HV is right to recommend it, but it makes bugger all difference to breastfeeding (except in very extreme circumstances) so don't beat yourself up about that too.

Haven't had a chance to read the whole thread but I just wanted to say well done for getting this far with breastfeeding when you've had such a terrible time with the thrush.

I suffered with thrush terribly for weeks after DS was born - it was 12 weeks before my cracked nipples and pain really healed. And much of that 12 weeks was spent in agony, and feeling demoralised and upset that something so natural was going so badly wrong. So you have my absolute sympathy.

But, I got over it and am now still feeding at 14 months. So there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Thrush doesn't mean the end of BFing as it can be tackled.

Here's what I did:

• I ended up being v vigilant about applying the daktarin gel to DS's mouth - I used to rub it on my finger and let him suck it off after every single feed. Took 3 tubes before it finally shifted.
• I was also v vigilant about applying the daktarin cream to my nipples.
• I used canesten on DS's bum whenever the thrush flared up in his nappy area.
• my GP refused to prescribe flucozanole (yes, I am still a little bitter ) but you can buy it over the counter (albeit myself and my DH had to buy it from several places to get the 10 day course I needed).
• I regularly hot-washed all bras, bedding, washable breastpads, anything fabric DS put near his mouth. I went a little hot wash crazy tbh but I was getting so desperate and I do think it helped.
• I cut right back on sugar - thrush thrives on it apparently, so I did my best to cut out cake/jam/sugar in tea (switched to splenda) and generally tried to eat a low GI diet (I then switched back to cake once it finally shifted!).
• I took Pau D'Arco supplements. This was something I first read about on some site linked to off Kellymom and I really think it helped. It was certainly only after I started taking the supplements that the thrush finally shifted.

On the weight front, my DS was also a slow weight gainer. He started at 9lb 1 oz at birth but gradually slipped down the centiles. It was worrying...until I realised that he was absolute fine, just not a chunkster. We had to see a paediatrician at 10 weeks for something unrelated and I asked about the weight and was told to ignore the scales and watch my baby instead. This was some of the best advice I've received! So I stopped getting him weighed and only take him to the doctor if he's genuinely sick.

Sorry for the ramble but really hope the thrush clears up soon.

Hi WYG. Congrats on your DD :)

You can sort this out, and it will be ok. I'm going to send you a PM later (just at work at the moment) but I have some ideas for you that I think will help.

:)