crying at breast/hard to settle/but happy on back...aren't babies confusing

[jurassicpark]

My DS is very cute and spent a lovely couple of weeks feeding well, sleeping and putting on loads of weight. Now at 3.5 weeks he's crying at the breast (at most feeds), crying for a fair while after feeding (not just in the evening, though this is worse), and now seems to be crying in his sleep. He seems to be ok on his back, but uncomfortable being held against my shoulder. DH thinks he's got an upset stomach, which for an immature infant (DS not DH) seems odd - though we do hear a lot of gurgling. He will settle eventually, after repeated feedings. I've read lots of things which mention many different causes, so much so that I feel like running a poll (almost an 'ask the audience' approach) to see what people have experienced. My choices are:

1 - its a growth spurt and needs to feed more
2 - fast let down? slow let down?
3 - wind
4 - reflux
5 - silent reflux
6 - food intolerance

My thinking is that it may be a combination of wind and fast let down. He isnt that sick to show signs of reflux, and as for food intolerance, I've no idea, but I have cut down the amount of chocolate I've been eating - maybe I should increase it.

Any thoughts/similar experiences?

Will he settle if you feed him more? I'd try this first.

If it's a fast letdown he'd be likely to struggle/splutter at the start of a feed, and pull away from the breast - does he do that at all?

How often does he feed? Do you offer both sides every time? I'd also recommend a good sling (stretchy wrap or similar) - lots of babies find these very soothing.

My dd is 8 weeks old and I remember her crying a lot more after a couple weeks, for no particular reason - I think it was something to do with becoming more aware of the world around her and more awake more of the time. Evenings were a long slog, several hours of feeding/crying/feeding/crying etc. etc. (and I mean from about 6pm to midnight non stop...!) It's settled down now and she seems happier, maybe we've got better at comforting/entertaining her or maybe she's just grown out of it. She's certainly more efficient at feeding now. From experience I'd suggest feeding as much as he wants, lots of cuddles (have you tried snuggling up skin to skin, like in the early days?), singing, rocking etc. It will get better!

thanks for comments.

He eventually settles after being walked about. The feeding more approach is confusing as he seems to want more but keeps crying while feeding. I do keep trying but its hard. I think the crying while feeding is my big worry at the moment.

When I take him off after crying (he doesnt come off, just gets upset) I do find that my milk flow looks quite fast - lots of spraying. Its not at the beginning of a feed. Its later in the feed that he starts - tho not all feeds...

Feeding every 2-3 hours at the moment.sometimes only offering one side- seems to work well at night.

Yep I agree with diyqueen it's the age and mostly they just grow out of it, it's difficult for you but if you can persevere it will get better, just not as fast as you'd like it too. www.kellymom.com has some helpful tips just think positively you are doing a fantastic job hang in there. Hope your hubby's helpful, mine used to walk around with dd1 for a bit to give me a break before I latched her back on, there's always a dummy temporarily...

They get better at coping with fast milk flow as they get older too, so if that's bothering him it will improve. My dd was very wary of one boob for a few weeks - the milk came out of that one faster than the other for some reason and she'd often gulp, splutter and cough (and then howl) - but now it's her favourite side and she goes at it with gusto, unlatching for a couple of seconds to catch breath if she needs to. A full feed used to take about an hour but in the space of a few weeks it's down to 20 mins now - it's amazing how fast they change. Every 2-3 hours sounds good

how often are you feeding him? Are you in any sort of routine yet?

I would think some of the crying at the breast might be down to him not being hungry but maybe tired?

Otherwise sounds like reflux and be worth chatting to gp/hv.

diyqueen it does seem like it is related to fast let down as when he comes off milk is spurting all over the place. However, girlefriend I've wondered about the tiredness/not hungry. He doesnt cry when he's had a good gap between feeds (3 hours rather than 2). Part of me thinks he is just feeding to get to sleep. Its just hard to know isnt it?
Just need to get a bit more sleep myself so I can deal with it, I feel that both children are suffering at the moment.

it may be tiredness, i remember when my ds turned 3 weeks, he turned from a beautiful feeder and sleepeer to becoming very unsettled, this was due to him being intrested in the world around him but his little mind was getting over stimlated and the only way he knew to soothe would be to suck therefore feed, but as he's not really hungry he would get frustrated with the breast, i didn really want to give ds a dummy but was a life saver for the fussy days, and belive me they let you know where there hungry and dont just want something to suck on! if your worried it may be reflux se eyour gp there are meds you can give him i thought this for a while with my ds but no meds made a difference. try infacol before feeds if you think may be colic can use that from birth helped calm my ds tummy down, but overall i found ds was most upset when over tired/stimulated, have you tried swaddling him really tight and rock and shh him in a dark room, works like a charm when there newborn. sure he'll calm down in a few days :)