How did your workmates react to you expressing at work/bfing older babies?

[bmrocks]

Have namechanged for this but am a regular poster. :)

Just wondered if you ended up in some 'interesting' discussions, my friend and I were chatting about this at work today. We are in maybe an unusual position as she is currently one of two expressing ladies in our team, this is causing some comment... I also expressed on return to work last year and am still bfing my toddler.

We have ended up defending bfing to an extent, some people are being very dismissive of the need for expressing for babies >6 months as it's 'not necessary'.

I think part of the problem for us is that the other expresser makes a very big deal about bfing/her boobs/expressing and is taking full advantage of the extra breaks (was going to say she's really milking it ) which is causing some bad feeling. We have just got on with it really and not made a big song and dance.

Have your workmates been more suportive/receptive to the idea?

Also I don't really talk much about 'still' bfing my son (he's not even 2 yet), I sometimes feel maybe I should be less shy about 'admitting' it, to try and help normalise the idea IYSWIM. Is this a weird thing to feel? I don't mean talk about it all day, just if bfing toddlers came up in conversation!

I'm not aware of anyone expressing at my old place of work. When I returned after having DS1 (he was 15 months at the time), I didn't really tell anyone I was still bf. A couple of people who had babies around the same time were aware I was still bf as I met up with them outside work. There may well have been discussions about it when I wasn't there, but nobody ever commented on it to me.

I did have a brief discussion with HR about possible provision for expressing in the office just before I went back, as I was considering expressing and sending the milk into nursery with DS (he wasn't terribly keen on cow's milk initially). It ended up not being an issue as I ended up working from home. HR did seem a bit taken aback when I mentioned it, but it did force them to look at the issue and put a plan in place should anyone require to express in the future.

I think that the majority of people who haven't had children would find the idea a bit weird, simply because they know very little about it.

I was the first in this workplace, the facilities were very kindly set up for me. So it is a bit weird for others I guess. I believe there was some pondering about what exactly i was doing in the room!

I work in the nhs, at least 10,000 employees. I have formally approached hr re expressing after both my dc and have been told I am the only person to have EVER requested facilities!
I have been told to use a relatives room (no lock, no fridge, been disturbed both times).
I now squirt in a toilet sink or go to my car in the middle of the night shift.
When I am not so exhausted from working 60 hour ridiculous weeks (junior doctor) I will flop my boobs out in the CEOs office in protest.
For now I just keep quiet as I have been made to feel totally unreasonable in my workplace, especially if I say my son is over 1 as like you op, people think it is unnecessary.

no-one ever said anything negative to my face. And after I had left one job, another colleague also expressed for her baby so I hope that was a sign that I hadn't made it seem weird!

I have just returned back to work (well 6 weeks ago) and am expressing twice a day, DS is 8m. TBH I haven?t explicitly told many people ? I just disappear twice a day with my bag, the odd person has said ?are you off shopping? or something as a joke so I?ve just laughed and made the same kind of joke. I think a couple of my team members may know what I?m up to, but a lot of my team are blokes so probably wouldn?t have put 2 and 2 together, so I think they wonder what I'm up to.

HR are obviously aware as they have arranged a room for me to use and a sign for the window of the door asking people not to enter. The HR manager has asked me a couple of times how long I intended to do it for, the first time I said I didn?t know and the second time I said ?not past September? (DS will be 1 then and while I intend to carry on bf I don?t intend to carry on expressing after that) and she laughed, then looked really shocked as she did the maths.

I have to say though, work have been fantastic in providing me a room, and have put a lot of thought into my privacy for the actual act of expressing so I have a lot of praise for that. They didn?t blink when I requested it, but I can?t think of anyone else who has had a baby here recently so think I may well be the first.

knackeredmother I am really shocked by that :(

Knackered that is appalling and in the NHS, too! Unacceptable and not fair on your baby either! And I doubt very much if you are the first either. Is there no-one you could complain to?

I am too tired to complain but will eventually! Tbh by ds is 18 months so I only need to express for my own comfort during long (around 14 hour shifts) so I manage with a quick squeeze in the sink (tmi!!)
It is an issue though, I read of another doctor who had similar problems and took her trust to court and won. Wouldn't have done her career any good, the doctor side of the nhs can be very mafia like at times lol, there is still a no complaining culture in medicine.

I have to say though op I sometimes DO explicitly say what I'm going to do as taking breaks is not often done in my job and most male doctors are too embarrassed to question me! It can help if people think you are shirking.

hi knackered, i too am a hospital doctor and was met by bewilderment when i returned to work and wanted to express. i met the infant feeding co-ordinator on the mat ward to see if she was any help but she had never been asked before and had no useful suggestions. i used the on call room (and bought a mini fridge) but i couldn't lock it from the inside (key code on outside) so have been walked in on several times. IMHO most doctors are very much of the opinion that bf after 6 weeks months is unnecessary, hippyish and self-indulgent. also there is a culture of working without breaks/food/holiday etc

i completely agree about fluctuating between wanting to normalise it and wanting to keep quiet!

Weasel, I'm glad I'm not the only one but it is shocking isn't it?
I got told by a pediatrician colleague that because I was breastfeeding my daughter at 13 months I was psychologically damaging her! WTF!!!!

I was the first person at my work (less than 15% of employees are women) to express. I had some gentle ribbing from the shop floor blokes, but nothing much. Just got on with it quietly really.

As ds got older, some female colleagues got a bit about me feeding him still, but I also got support from unexpected people

I returned to work when DD was 8 months old and I was feeding

I didn't express at work but they knew I was still feeding her

Fast forward a year and someone I work with s pregnant and we were tLking about feeding, and I mentioned I was still feeding DD - was met with much admiration and very little surprise actually

I don't make a big deal out of it and don't really talk about it unless asked

I employed a lady who was back looking for work when her baby was about a year, she asked for a lockable, private room with plug sockeet to express in (easier said than done with the current fashion for goldfish-bowl offices) and I felt embarrassed that the best I could offer at the time was a chair in a supplies room!

It never occurred to me that her baby was 'too old to need milk' or that I should expect her figure out where to express on her own, or even that she'd be taking extra breaks to do it (and I didn't even have a baby of my own at that point)

For the first, it's none of my business. For the second, why wouldn't I want to be helpful to someone I was hoping to employ, and for the third, why would I employ someone who I thought would act like that?

I've breast fed in the office, luckily I can work from home most of the time now, but I'd certainly be looking for a different employer if they couldn't have the tiny amount of give and take over things like this.

Some colleagues know I still bf 20mo DD and were surprised but supportive.
Didn't dare mention I was also feeding her 4yo brother...

I did for a while. I was doing them a huge favour by going into work at all, so I didnt expect, or receive any shit on the subject whatsoever.

I expressed in the boardroom midmorning and mid afternoon, and I took files in with me to read while I did it, I sometimes made business phone calls as well (hand pump so no noise to speak of). I didn't see why I should take time off, and it was also good to make it visible that I was actually working rather than slacking (although I did normally ring home for a couple of minutes as well).

I never expressed at work when I was bfing. There physically was not a room I could have used apart from the loos, so I used to feed dd just before I left for work and then as soon as I got home.

I bf dd1 until she was 2 and dd2 until she was 3y6m. I never had any negative comments about it (to my face!) - in general people said things like well done, good for you etc.

A few people didn't believe I could be bf dd1 while pg with dd2 - but that wasn't just (non medical) people at work... It was also a Professor in the Ante Natal Clinic . In fact, he was astonished and said he had never come across this in his whole career. He was about 90 and we are talking a big hospital in a big city here. I think I was even more astonished.

I'm expressing at work, close colleagues in my dept are very supportive and mostly women who also breastfed, so I feel comfortable chatting with them. Work have never had the request before, but were ok. The bigger issue has been timetabling, as a teacher I have been excused from form time duties to allow me time to express, I know this has pissed off other staff who assumed I would be co-tutoring with them.
My DD is only 8 mo, though I intend to go for as long as she wants I felt like there were one or two people who don't understand why I don't just give her formula, and why I'm even bothering now she's on solids.

I do have to say, that my job in itself ( optometrist) means that I always have a consulting room to myself in any case so have never had to ask for a room to express in. However it has occurred to me that if any of the staff at the front desk needed to express that they wouldn't automatically be allowed to kick an optom out to use the room for expressing and I don't know how favourably my boss would look on it.