12 week old never goes longer than 3 hours between feeds

[Beanonboard]

My 12 week old is EBF and is still feeding at most every 3 hours, day and night. At night he will go for 3 hours at first but then wakes every 1-2 hours for the rest of the night. I've tried everything I can think of to make him go longer - stuffing him full by feeding him every hour during the day, ignoring him in the night to confirm whether he's actually hungry, different bedtimes, to no avail, the pattern is the same every night. Depressingly, I looked at the feeding diary I kept for the first month and his pattern is the same as it was when he was 2 weeks old.

He's making himself overtired by not sleeping as he doesn't nap much during the day either. I'm really really tired - sometime I express and OH gives the last feed of the day, but it's hard to find the time / energy to express enough every day. So I'm very tempted to give him a bottle of forumula last thing to try and get him to sleep longer (I know the jury's out on whether this is a myth or not, but I keep thinking I won't know till I try). I don't really want to though as am proud that we have succeeded this far with EBF. Can anyone suggest anything I've missed? Or do I just need to surrender to it until he grows out of it? Thanks for any advice.

I think this is pretty normal, actually. Sorry not to sound more encouraging. In fact, if he was feeding every three hours at two weeks old that was actually pretty good for that age and EBF. It is definitely true, though, that as he gets older and can take more at one time he may sleep for longer. How much does he nap in the day? Maybe tackling that is the way to go - this way you can get a nap or at least a rest in the daytime and not be so zonked by the nights.

Also, you are doing so well to have got this far - he's nearly three months old! If you can stick it out for another three months, he will be weaning onto solids and you may find him sleeping for longer once he's got used to that and is eating some nicely calorific suppers.

Another voice saying this normal.

Plenty of babies feed 2 hourly the clock around, at least when solids start at 6 months you're not the one doing all the feeding

No real advice, but sympathy. My DS only went longer than 3 hours ONCE in the first 9 months of his life. Then he went from feeding 3 hourly round the clock to sleeping a good 10-11 hours solid in the space of a month! So there is hope (albeit a long way off, possibly! Sorry).

I'm afraid it drove me bananas (took 45 mins to feed and an hour or so to settle, v colicky, windy etc, so only an hour's sleep at a time, max) and at 12 weeks he started having 1 bottle a night, either at 10pm-ish or one of the night feeds. He never went any longer after the bottle, but DP could give it, which meant that although the resettling always woke me up (small house, screaming baby), I usually got to rest for about 5 hours or so without having to feed/settle DS.

I'm not sure I ever really surrendered to it (did I mention it drove me bananas? ), but we never did controlled crying, just kept encouraging him to self settle for naps (fed to sleep during the night), and eventually he slept. Has been a bloody brilliant sleeper since though, if that's any consolation.

I think you may get a lot of replies telling you that this is all normal!

I was in your situation 5 months ago. I remember thinking it was relentless and there was no end to it and it felt like I was just a milk machine. I was also keen to try to change things so that I could do stuff.

All I can say is that it doesn't last and it's all preparation for your LO to get big and strong. You feel like it has been for ever but remember 12 weeks is nothing! You baby is still adjusting to life outside of the womb.

I don't think formula will help - thought try if you feel like you need to know.

The thing that saved me was that I learnt to feed lying down and I have an iphone / book and so I am happy to just devote that time to feeding her. Whilst zoning out and lying down!

Now she can go for a much longer time without a feed but at its peak and for most of the first 6 months she was going for no longer than 2 hours.

You are obviously doing really well. I know it is really frustrating and tiring but remember that this is how your LO needs it to be for now, and it doesn't last forever.

Have you tried a dummy? My 12 week old is pretty similar and feeds pretty much every 3 hours, the only difference being his first block of sleep after bedtime is usually 4 hours (7-11). If he wakes in the night before his next 3 hour feed I put a dummy in and he goes straight back to sleep i.e. he needs to suck for comfort rather than feed.

Well done you for doing so well already! Please don't give up, if you can. When I bf, I was up at least three times every night up until 7 months. It wasn't until I introduced solids as well as bf that DS would sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. My first child though was better. After the third month it did get better. Hang in there!

Ds2 did this until 6-7 months - sorry!

I found it easier to come up with coping strategies for me, rather than trying to change his behaviour.

By all means give him a bottle if it gives you a break - I would have done but DS wouldn't take it.

Far better to give one bottle of formula a day and get some rest, than get so exhausted with it all than you throw in the bfing towel completely.

I did find that as he got older, then feeds became quicker, and he was easier to settle again afterwards. He still woke frequently but towards the end we were only up for about 15 mins at a time, which was much easier to cope with.

Thanks for the supportive words everyone. I suspected most would say this is just normal but as he's my first I have no comparison. I'll keep taking it a day at a time. I have tried a dummy - it usually gives me an extra 30 mins or so but I can't get back to sleep as know I will have to feed him again imminently! I will try the No Cry Sleep Solution book - thanks for the tip.

Do you co-sleep?

For the first couple of feed cycles in the night no, but as he quite often is wide awake at 5 now as soon as it starts to get light, I usually put him in bed with me at that point as I can more easily feed him lying down / put the dummy back in to try and get him to stay asleep. Do you think co-sleeping all night might help?

It's the only way I managed all the nightfeeds! If the baby is right there then you just have to scoot them over and latch them on - I'd sleep/doze through the feed. In the morning I couldn't have told you how many feeds he'd had

I had a bedside cot so ds would go to bed in that, then when he woke for a feed in the night I just slid him over to me. Fed lying down so didn't even have to wake up enough to sit up.

We switched to co-sleeping around 5 months as I was at work and tbh at risk of PND. I found that I didn't wake up as fully. Also we went through a stage of DH picking DD up and bringing her to bed and then him being the one to put her back. He has no problems going back to sleep.

We also have a big bed, but there were plenty of nights where DH got chucked out

You do what you need to do.

Also sympathise DD is a 5am getter upper.

I went through a stage of only feeding lying down