Will it get easier?

[Milkybrew]

DD is 4 days old, for the past 24 hours she has fed every 2 hours, sometimes not even quite made 2 hours! My milk has come in as boobs are huge and I can hear her gulping! My nipples are just so sore, and she latches beautifully on one side but I'm struggling with the other. DH has just suggested we go out to buy a steriliser, bottles and formula just incase it gets too much. I'd not bought anything as I was determined to give breastfeeding a real good go, I still am, so will it get better? When?!

Yes! Definitely.

The turning point for me came at six weeks, which I know must seem like a lifetime at the moment. In reality it probably got easier earlier but that was when I suddenly realised I wasn't dreading DD wanting to feed anymore.

At one point we did attempt to bottle feed, with the intention of DH giving one feed a day, but as DD refuses bottles that was more stressful for us than the bfing was even in the early days!

Keep going and good luck!! But remember, if it doesn't work out for you, it's not the end of the world and definitely not your fault.

It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job, Milky. Four days old is nothing, it gets much, much MUCH easier. I had a really easy, smooth breastfeeding relationship, and it still hurt like hell for the first two or three weeks, it's just getting used to it. And I also found that one side was easier than the other originally, just because I found it more awkward to hold her in my left arm, but that evened out as well. We fed for 16 months with no problems at all and no formula. Everything you're saying is really normal.

I wouldn't bother with a steriliser and bottles and whatnot, I really wouldn't, unless you're planning to express. I think that suggesting such a thing is probably meant to be helpful, but really it's quite undermining, and also a big waste of money. They're readily available, no point having them if you don't need them when you can dash out to the shops if need be.

Good luck, you really are doing perfectly. Oh - and watch out for the cluster feed nights, you'll hit one on about day 6/7, and again at 21 days, when it seems like you're just feeding and feeding constantly, and you'll worry that you're not producing enough, but you ARE, it's just a thing babies do to drive you insane ramp up your supply ahead of growth spurts.

Another yes definitely!

Again the turning point was about 6 weeks. Have you got a local breastfeeding support group to help you with latch and positioning?

Thank you ladies! Think the tiredness and the hormones from milk coming in knocked my confidence a bit!

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly. I wish I had been doing that well at 4 days old! I found bfing incredibly difficult and had cracked nipples and several bouts of mastitis. It did get much much easier though. I bfed my DD for about a year. And - it may be hard to believe now - you get to the point where you actually don't know how to stop and don't want to stop :)

Milky, if your getting soure it worth a trip to your local BF cafe to have you latch checked just to make sure everything is good. This could save you a lot of bother in the long run.

The BfN one's are hear
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/support-centres.html

or try your local childrens centure.

Yes definitely will get better. Days 4-6 were hard for me, DD was feeding very frequently and the bf-ing hormones made me feel like a zombie!

If you can you may feel more relaxed if you can avoid monitoring the frequency of feeds. I found breastfeeding much easier once I let go of the idea of DD should have a fixed number of feeds at regular intervals and accepted that so long as she spent plenty of time on the boob and was gaining weight things were probably fine. Having said that I don't think I really stopped counting feeds or checking my watch until DD was about 3m old so this advice may be easier to give than to follow!

I agree with getting yourself to a bf group, if nothing else you will be able to speak to other bf women who will have been where you are now (like us on here!!!)

It DOES get easier, but it is a good idea to get a bit of experienced help i.e.not necessarily your midwife or HV, with latching in the early days. Even if things are going fine, you may pick up a few tips, or just get some reasurrance.

Give one of the helplines a ring and ask your mw/hv if there is a bf group near you. And worth explaining to your OH the sort of support that will help you continue to bf.... bringing you cake/drinks/doing all the chores and cooking etc etc. Sometimes they think they are being helpful suggesting formula (and I realise this sometimes is needed), but it sounds like everything is going well for you and if you are determined to continue bf then constant suggestions of ff at every blip can really undermine things. < disclaimer: I'm NOT having a go at ff here, just relaying my own experiences and those I have seen in my friends.> I think we underestimate how important good support is for bf in the early days especially.

Hi Milky!!

Am feeling the same, DS is latching wonderfully and I really enjoy feeding him but my nipples are really sore but i am determined to push through it this time!

i already had a sterilizer, bottles, formula in the house as i wasn't planning on breast feeding but after he was born i latched him for colustrum and he did so well that we have carried on.

Admittedly he has had formula becasue he was 9lbs and is constantly hungry so a few times after feeding he has had a ounce of formula to tide him over but TBH he doesn't seem to be able to keep the formula down as he always burp that up - but never the olustrum.

This is my 4th baby but first time ive felt i will continue to BF and am really going to try hard.

I just want my milk to come in as he is so hungry and big i don't feel like the colustrum is enough - it probably is, but as a 3 time bottle feeder im used to filling their bellies to the brim, lol.

Hi totoros! So from moaning about babys not coming were now stressing over feeding! Haha! I get where you are coming from with whether they are getting enough-she was 9lb 5oz so is a big greedy girl!

Like you, after the birth she latched brilliantly so I was really pleased. I think we are getting there slowly but surely! I think her 24 hr feeding marathon was because the milk came in!

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement! Will definately seek more help if things don't improve today.

Milky - congrats on birth of DD. You are doing great. I am with Tortoise in that it really hurt at the beginning but once used to it then things were fab and have been ever since (6months). At the time I felt very distressed and was so panicked about whether it would improve or how long I could continue. I really found once my milk came in then DSs suction was a little less fierce and my nipples healed very quickly despite a lot of feeding. They were cracked and bleeding, but as my midwife highlighted that with a bit of extra milk expressed onto them and air time they heal really quickly. Don't worry about the frequency, especially in early days. I know this is hard when it hurts but I am sure if you get latch checked then it will just get easier. Do you know of your local support group? I would put the clock away and just capitalise on the sedentary time required for epic feeds and camp out with the friends, remote, phone and cake! Keep us posted.

Totoros - how are you doing? How old is DS? Congrats. I think it will feel very different once you milk comes in and you are in early stages of the whole experience so I think you are probably right in terms of the colostrum being enough - it just won't flow in the way milk will. All the best. Be good to hear how you are doing.

You sound like you're doing brilliantly - I found the first couple of weeks really tough and then it got easier. By 6 weeks I was feeding in public and everything

Lansinoh was great for sore nips in the first week or two, I slathered it on after every feed.

If your DH is keen to help, delegate everything that isn't feeding to him. Your job is breastfeeding, he can change nappies, make dinner, do the laundry, take the baby for a walk so you can rest, generally wait on you hand and foot!

It really does get better. I promise. I'm still feeding my 6.5mo twins, and I really wouldn't be if it was still like the early days!

I remember 2.5 weeks being my lowest point as I was at my most tired (in hindsight, that's 2 days after DH went back to work!). I still had a few problems after that, but I found that just taking one feed at a time and not looking forward got me through!

I found it improved markedly at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks and 16 weeks. It is like there are several things that can change to make it easier and they all happen at different times, so it keeps geting a bit easier.

I think it was at about 10 weeks I looked at my friend in the cafe with her bottle, pot of formula, flask of water, screaming baby and muslins to mop up the spills that happened cos she was rushing for the screaming baby. Boy did I feel fortunate to be able to whip out a nipple and feed in about 6 mins

I second other people - I wouldn't buy the bottles and stuff if you'd rather BF as it'll tempt you to switch during the bad times. If you have to send DH out for it, you'll leave it until after the next feed, and hop along from feed to feed like I did

Good luck - and get some rl help at a BF clinic/drop in/coffee morning etc

Oh yes, I meant to mention breast shells. They're not the same as breast sheilds!

Breast shells are hard plastic domes with a flexible back that goes against your skin. Nipple pokes through into the cone. It holds your clothes away from your nipple, so the lansinoh stays on and the nipples get a chance to heal. You can get them on Amazon (I have the Chicco ones and they're fine).

Congrats to you Milkybrew- you sound like things are going well.

Would another way of holding DD make things easier on that tricky side? Try the rugby ball hold or have a look at biological nurturing (google it).

Hi Totoros - I remember you from when you were posting before your Lo was born.

Huge congrats

Brilliant that things are going well.

Up to you completely with the formula top ups but don't forget that his stomach capacity is so teeny at the moment. If he looks likes he needs a bit more- you can just pop in on the breast again. He probably just wants to be close to you.

The more you feed -the more it will build up your supply- women manage to ebf babies of 11lbs, so don't worry that you won't have enough there.

here is a good article about the stomach capacity of a newborn.

He was born on Wed right? So milk should come in in the next couple of days.

Hope things go for everyone.

Just to say thanks to everyone who posted with advice and encouragement. Things are getting better, trying different positions has helped with the latch and I can see where we were going wrong! DD seems to be getting plenty and for most part is a happy girl which is the main thing! Thanks ladies!

Well done MilkyBrew that's great news.

Hope you enjoy these early newborn days.

I've just been through this initial period too - my son is 4 weeks old and it's only in the last 2 days that I feel we've turned a corner with breastfeeding and have started having painless feeds. We're not 100% there yet, but we're on the way. Persevere with it - it's an amazing feeling when it suddenly starts to go right. Going to Baby Cafes is a great help, if only to reassure you that you're not alone.

I found that by far the worst thing was night feeds - exhausted, half-asleep and nipples in agony from a day of constant feeding, it was highly stressful and involved either my baby or me in tears. We solved this by expressing one or two of the night feeds, which gave my boobs a chance to recover, and allowed my partner to feel he was helping by giving the bottle while I expressed. (He kept suggesting we buy formula as well - it was because he felt powerless and desperate to help, and driving to buy formula was the only way he could think of helping - I understand how he felt, but the suggestion wasn't helpful at the time! It felt like he thought I couldn't do it and should give up, whereas what I needed more was a lot of sympathy and patience while I got through the tough bits.)

We're still expressing one night feed, but I'm getting to the point now where I'm nearly ready to stop this.

My other big tip is to wear a nursing bra and pads all the time. Early on a midwife told me to wear loose clothes and no bra to let the nipples 'breathe' and heal, but this was poor advice, because when your nipples are extremely sore, even soft loose fabric brushing against them is excruciating. Having them securely in a bra is much better.

milky I just read your post and wondered if I'd written it, except my DS is now 15 days old! It's not quite as bad as it was at 4/5 days old but I'm still really struggling with feeding on the left as it is really painful, but it used to be excrutiating on both sides so there has been some progress. The evening cluster feeds are definitely the hardest part, I'm tired and he just seems to knaw at my nipples of 4 hours!

I tried to go to support group last Monday only to find it had been cancelled so I've been getting by with lansinoh and chocolate and plenty of tears, hopefully the group scheduled for this Monday will be on and I'll get some help.

Good luck, I'm also really determined to make this work hopefully we'll all make it through.

Hello Milky & Totoros so funny we're now all on here.

My DS (Wilf) is now 9 days old and we've managed to get through the week fairly unscathed (not trying to sound too smug here!).

My milk came in this time last week and my Monday I was in flipping agony. Called the NCT helpline which was simply reassuring. Then I bought a cold compress thing from boots and the old savoy cabbage. I had a few baths and showers where I hand expressed milk and just watched it dripping out of my boobs! . My best recipe ended was to massage my boobs ahead of the feed, then whack on W, then put the cold compress on afterwards. Seemed to help get things regulated.

Re: nips, are you using Lasinoh (sp?). I was slapping on but then also spent time (with DH watching) researching latch methods and jigging him about. He's got a really hard suck but I found that altering his position has allowed my nips to heal. I'm not perfect and it's still sore when he latches on, but I feel that i'm getting there.

We've had the lovely cluster feeding over the last few nights. Had my mum with me last night (DH on a stag do - his best friend, so he's off for the w/e) and she kept on saying "just give him more boob!". It was actually very good advice. W has been brilliant and so DH and I stupidly thought he was setting in to his own 'routine', ha! Must remember that W sets his own agenda...!

Good luck guys - we must just think back to this time two weeks ago when we were longer for these little darlings! It'll all be OK.

And thank you to veteren advice, learning so much every day. When I get a chance to check MN!!

x

furry congrats on your LO!
Mine is the left side that is uncomfortable too. Yesterday the community midwife visited and showed me how to latch her holding her under my arm-think it's the rugby ball hold. It's made a huge difference as it's not the same bit of my sore nip that's getting all the friction. Also I've found really plastering lansinoh on the whole breast has helped!

littlemilla Hi! Nice to hear you and LO are doing well!

Milky just to say thanks for starting this thread, I am a couple of days behind you and I am going through now what you went through then (if that makes sense).

Very handy to know that it will get better, I think we have turned a corner today with my dd as the pain isn't so great. Looking forward to it becoming a heck of a lot easier, plus I only have to take a look at dd's face to know it's doing her the power of good .

Milky, Stick at it girl. I gave birth at early december and wrote several tearful messages on here. I dont think Ive ever felt so down or lonely trying to do something that looked to be so flipping simple.

The very best advice I can give you is only focus on one feed at a time. Not a day or a week or anything else. Strip everything right back to the basics. And if in pain get lasinoah cream and nipple shields. They help.

I had no idea how demanding it was and seriously thought my bubba was abnormal or I couldn't feed. Its now 5mths and we are going strong and Im simply amazed at where we can go and what we can do together. DD initially fed every 10 mins. The first 2 weeks were the worst and slowly and progressively this got better. By 3 weeks I realised looking back we were now going an hour. At 6 wks I realised we were going nearly 2 hours. 8 weeks I realised 3 hrs. Once you feel able, go walking with your baby in a pram. They sleep like a darned dream and you get some time to think, cry on the hoof, clear your head and if you are lucky when you get in they remain asleep for another few mins or up to an hour which will give you some mental recuperation time. I also lost 2stone. Baby weight and a bit more. You use an extra 500 calories bfing a day. If no other thing gets you through a feed focus on that - shallow? frankly who cares if it gives you the courage to try one more feed, but if you go to bottles or mix feed this is still absolutely fine! You are allowed to as you are the boss! I give our bubba a bottle a day last thing at night, and use them as back up for if Im feeling self conscious out or unable to feed because of where we might be. You set the rules here, no-one else! :0)

Also look up your local area on this site. I found some good groups to go to and made some friends locally to meet once we hit 8wks and I could function enough to do so. Take your time and whatever you do so long as its right for your family thats all that matters. The rest is just noise - including me! ;0)

Big hug, x

laciccolina thanks for your words of encouragement!

Feel like we've turned a bit of a corner as DD is feeding less frequently but each feed is lasting longer. Also sore side now hardly hurts if I feed laying down! Am getting a bit of time between feeds now, not that I'm allowed to do anything! DH is doing everything around the house so I can put all my energy into feeding!

My mum is next to useless with her advice which yesterday was to give baby a bottle and start using a dummy, so it's great to come here and feel like I'm perfectly normal for wanting to persevere!

Thanks ladies!

Hi everyone, seeing as you gave me such good advice the other day I thought this was the best place to come to for more of your expertise! DD is now 9 days, she's lost a little weight but as she was a chunky little thing no one is worried! My only concern is that she's feeding alot less now! Averaging 3 hours between feeds and only feeding about 5-10 mins, usually both sides but occasionally only one side. Is this ok? Still getting plenty of wet/dirty nappies and shes a content little thing! Thanks!