Please help- I don't know what to do and I'm knackered!

[LilacEmmy]

Apologies it's a long one, but wanted to explain things properly as my problem is two fold. I've introduced one bottle of formula with my 6wk old daughter- I started this 2 weeks ago, but she has only started having a proper bottle feed in the past four days as we had to change formula (didn't like the first one) and she's now happily taking 6-8oz each time. I've then been breastfeeding for the other four feeds and this had been working great for the past few days.
However, yesterday my milk supply seemed to suddenly drop off- my breasts are noticeably smaller and felt soft and empty feeling even when she's due a feed- normally much larger, firmer and fuller when due a feed. I also can't hear her gulping or swllowing as much like she normally does during a feed. My nipples are also very sore today, and we've both just finished treatment for thrush as she had white coating on her tongue, sodon't know if that's what I've got now (no symptoms up to now throughout treatment). She wouldn't settle back down after her 3am feed last night and cried hysterically until I picked her up and fed her again, each time falling asleep and crying as soon as she was put down again, 4 times in all until 5.30am. I felt completely drained physically and emotionally and felt I had to resort to a bottle as she still seemed hungry. She took 1.5oz and then fell asleep properly for 3 hours.
Today has been the same, I still don't feel any fuller, and she's taking twice as long to feed as usual, and just won't settle, she's only slept for 3 hours 11am-2pm today. She's wrecked now as well, and is only just settling in her bouncer at the mo when she's rocked, but roars in her moses basket. Health visitor had suggested last week allowing her to cry for about 15 mins and wait to see if she settles, which she had been doing quite a bit of the time, but now she just cries hysterically and doesn't stop until she's picked up, however long it takes.
So the problem is two fold- my lack of milk supply and the crying..any ideas what I can try for either/both please? Feel really disillusioned and hate seeig her so upset, please help!

Just so I understand - are you feeding your DD 4 times in 24 hours, plus a FF?

If that's the case (and apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick), it doesn't sound like enough for a 6-week-old, and might be affecting your supply. When DS was 6 weeks, he fed pretty much every 2-3 hours and I think that is usual. The more you feed, the more your supply should increase.

Re the crying ... well, DS still screams if not picked up and he's 12 weeks! Until his entire head is sweating, it's awful. We do wait a few minutes to see if he settles, and if not, give him a cuddle. They're still so very tiny, and need lots of cuddles IMHO. I'm sure someone else on here can give you better advice, which I will watch with interest!

Oh you poor thing I can definitely remember feeling completely wacked at this stage with DS. Having a new baby is so relentless and we really aren't prepared very well for it.

Firstly, you DD sounds completely normal and it is clear that you are trying to do your best for her. At this age she is still WAY too young to self settle and leaving her to cry will only make her feel more desperate (which is what I think you are describing is happening already). I think you may find that she settles much more easily and you get more rest if you go to her and feed her immediately. Your HV's advice is not in line with current thinking and I would probably ignore it. Have you considered co-sleeping?

It is not really clear from your post how often your DD is feeding in 24hrs. At this age she should still be feeding between 8-12 times in 24 hrs. That's a lot, I know but completely normal. Remember breastfed babies are the norm and ff babies go abnormally long between feeds as formula is more difficult to digest.

At 6 weeks your supply may be becoming more established but it is still really important to be feeding regularly and frequently to let you body know how much milk to make for your baby. Feeling full or waiting to feel full is not a good way to judge how much milk you have as breasts are not like bottles but rather make the milk for your baby as she needs it. If you leave them to get full a protein in the milk starts to tell your body that the baby doesn't need milk and your body starts to make less milk.

Do you have a local breastfeeding support group with trained peer supporters and or breastfeeding councellors? I would really recommend you go to a drop-in for some support.

Also, try to ring one of the breastfeeding support lines (NCT, La Leche League or Department of Health NOT the number on the back of the formula tin) they are staffed by trained breastfeeding councillors and are a great help.

Check for local groups here and here

Good luck.

Your DC behavior all sounds exactly like my 6wo DD! She sometimes even goes from 7am till 2pm without a nap. Cries unless picked up. Sometimes she also doesn't look satisfied after coming off the breast and goes onto to more crying! The only difference is I just trust I produce enough milk for her. The bf counsellor says as long as she is having a good number of wet nappies and is gaining weight, the feeding is going fine.

My HV and my mum both says I should let her cry it out as long as I know she is safe. She is a PFB so I don't have the heart to do it. I just use a dummy whenever I need to have A break for tea etc. Also I only offer the boob again if it's at least an hour since last feed. I know she suffers from overtiredness. But eventually she always settles down on either boob or dummy.

I guess my post isn't much help but want to let you know you aren't the only one.

at 6 weeks old i would really expect a baby to be having a lot more than 5 feeds a day tbh

it IS normal to reach a point where your supply settles ad you don't get that full feeeling, so i wouldn't read too much into that

is it possible your period is returning? I always get a dip in supply then, but if you want to continue breastfeeding you really need to offer the breast more frequently rather than replace it with more formula feeds

the crying i would hazard a guess at the formula if she is suddently having more?

at 6 weeks you shouldn't be doing any kind of sleep training, and i'm shocked a health visitor has advised this to be honest. she is still a tiny little baby and needs the comfort and security you offer her :(

i think th best advice i can give is to see ig you have a local breastfeeding group, maybe la leche league or something? where someoen can check your latch and talk thorugh the other problems too?

whereabouts are you?

Sorry you're having problems and are feeling so shattered LilacEmmy.

Are you feeding to a schedule or on 'cue'?

6 weeks is a classic growth spurt time so it could be that she just wants to be fed a little more often.

Breasts often do lose their full feeling after a number of weeks, but to maintain your supply, you need to be removing the milk often.

re. the crying, personally at this age, I would just cuddle rather than waiting for 15 minutes- she's so little still.

Is there a breastfeeding group that you can get to so that someone can watch you feed and check your latch. They may be able to tell you why your nipples are sore.

Hope things improve soon.

Oh I assume the 4 bf feeds is a typo. My app tells me I have done 10 feeds today so far! (She was very unsettled this evening so I was feeding hourly)! She is now finally asleep so bless her.

agree with secondcoming - and how your boobs feel shouldn't necessarily reflect how much milk is in your boobs - some mothers never have harder boobs, and once my supply is established i actually have pretty soft squishy ones, despite it all!
If you feel ok with it, put her to the boob more - she's VERY young....and she won't be for very long...
Similarly your milk supply is still establishing itself - so keep up the bfing if you can, her instincts will kick in and get her feeding. Her tummy is still small - the size of her fist.
Agree re local groups - can you get to a local bfing cafe/clinic? There are generally some lovely mums/peer supporters there who might give you a fresh outlook/support...
you are doing a great job - she's still diddy

oops, it seems I've just exactly the same as everyone else- but rather less eloquently.

I think Mummyberryjuice said it all! The only thing I would add is that babies often have a growth spurt at around 6 weeks. When this happens they want to feed more frequently and will find it harder to settle off to sleep. So the fact that she was satisfied with 5 feeds yesterday and isn't today doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your supply. She may just want to feed more because she temporarily needs more milk. Growth spurts tend to settle down within a few days.

I found the six week one incredibly hard because I'd just started to feel I knew what I was doing and suddenly it seemed like we were back to square one. But after that I coped with growth spurts by just putting my feet up and feeding DD as often as possible.

I second all the advice to feed, feed, feed. The more you feed, the more you produce. Regulating time between feeds and giving formula will harm your supply.

4/5 feeds a day for a 6wo is unlikely to be enough. And it's not just about the calories. Breastfeeding is comfort, cuddles, love and more for a tiny baby.

I apologise for not having time to give a longer reply, but read up and investigate these things for breastfeeding success, happy baby and (slightly) less sleep-deprived you:

1. Carry her in a sling - until 6 weeks ago she was tucked up inside you. She wants/needs that warmth and to hear your heartbeat (DD1 was like this, DS and DD2 less so but it's still a lovely way to be with your baby)
2. Co-sleeping - all the normal rules about not smoking, drinking, etc, apply, but lots of pillows to support you (between knees, behind back) will make you comfy enough to get decent rest while your DD feeds as much as she needs to (DD1 once fed, on and off, for 9 hours.)
3. Follow your instinct! Do not follow well-meaning advice if don't feel it works for you. Do not let your newborn baby cry if it's not what you want. 6 weeks is waaaaaay too young for cry-it-out even if you believe in it.
4. Babymoon: close the curtains, turn off the phone, arrange for someone to bring you lovely food and drink regularly, get naked, get into bed with your gorgeous DD and feed and cuddle and feed and cuddle. This will programme your body to do what it needs to do - produce the right amount of milk for her. And night feeds are especially important because they promote prolactin production, the hormone that regulates your supply.

Get help and support from your DH/DP, family members and friends who support bf and can maybe take her off you for a little while when she decides to take a feeding break.

Talk to La Leche League, National Breastfeeding Network and your local bf support groups if you feel you need more specific help.

You are doing a brilliant and very, very hard thing as a new mum - it will get easier. Keep posting.

Thank you all so much for all your advice, this forum is such a great way of chatting to mums who've been in the same situation and it makes you feel you're not alone! We had a similar evening yesterday with her wanting to be held pretty much all the time between 5-10pm- which we did, no leaving her to cry for any time last night! You're all right, 6 weeks is way too young for controlle crying and i realise that now, but I guess as a new mum you tend to grasp onto "experts" advice. I fed her quite a lot during this period, and also gave her a bottle (same as before, just the one), and then went to bed at 10.30 and she settled to sleep in her moses basket. I also swaddled her as suuggested which hopefully made a difference. She then slept through until 3.30 and fed on and off until 5.30 again like the previous night, put her down asleep a few times but she woke immediately and I took her back up again. Then she slept again 5.30-8am and has just had a nice long feed again and is happily playing in her bouncer now. I feel happier today and I'm clearer about what to do going forward and understand it won't last forever- and I'm still making the most of enjoying every minute with my gorgeous little girl! I'm planning to go to a La leched group tomorrow as well to check my latch as I was still sore overnight, though not as bad I think and I felt she got more from each breast last night- unless I'm just convincing myself to keep me sane!!!

Great news that you're feeling happier now LilacE

It is hard to find the confidence as a new mum, especially when you are bombarded with 'advice' from health professionals.

I remember at my 6 week check that the doctor told me to leave my baby to cry as " we were in charge and he needed to know that".

What awful advice and I wish I'd stuck to my guns and just cuddled and fed him.

You're right things won't be likle this forever- babies change so quickly.

Hope the group is helpful tomorrow.

Oh, so pleased you've had a better time. Relaxing is great for milk production! Keep on keeping on.

Looking on the bright side, 10.30 to 3.30 is 5 hours sleep. It's pretty good for a 6wo isn't it?

5 hours sleep is really good for a 6 week old - just not for the parents .

Nothing to add what has been said before - just let her feed as often as she wants and as long as she wants, and she will thrive. It sounds as though you are doing everything right, and i hope the LLL group helps.

And finally, enjoy it! Although it can be a worrying and tiring time, this time passes so quickly - DS is 6 months now and as I am weaning him he is starting to drop a feed and I really miss the afternoon feeding snuggle!

x

Five hours sleep sounds like a gift, to me. DS is nine weeks old, and I pretty much weep with joy if he manages 3.5 hours.

You and DD sound as though you're doing great :)

Glad to Hearn you are feeling better about things. Sounds like your DD is cluster feeding in the evening which is completely normal. 5 hours straight is BRILLIANT at 6 weeks. (DS still hasn't done that at 16 months!)

Glad you're all sorted now :) Cluster feeding in the evening is very normal. DS used to do this from about 5-9/10pm. If I hadn't known what it was I'd have been worried he wasn't getting enough. He would feed briefly, come off, I'd pass him to DH for cuddles, DS would be crying for a feed within 5 minutes! It's settled down now though.

Also, I found the 6 week growth spurt so difficult as his sleep and day naps were getting into some sort of pattern and then everything went haywire. So don't worry if she's unsettled for a bit, it will pass.

I recommend this website for BF info:

www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/index.html

It's got everything you need to know.