Me again, another dilemma...

[brightongirldownunder]

OK so now some of you may know that I am a real stresshead when it comes to exclusively breastfeeding DS..s

So far I have had too much milk, then not enough, then DS went on a nursing strike, which I've discovered was due to his canines coming through (he's only 3 months, poor bugger). Anyway I'm now back to not having enough milk again. I'm doing everything I can bar expressing - mothers milk tea, oatmeal, putting him on the breast as much as possible, but he's really not having it. I seem to have either delayed or no let down. Only 24 hours ago I had loads of milk. WHAT IS GOING ON?!! If it carries on like this I may have to give him some formula or he's going to go crazy.
Why is my milk flow so erratic?
Normally he has 8 feeds a day, some long , some short, he's certainly not underweight as he weighed in yesterday at over 16 lbs which at 3 months is still over the 90 percentile. Saying that he has dropped from 98 to 91 in the past month, which in my ridiculous way is a sign thathe's not getting enough milk.Please help calm me down - I really dont want to resort to formula unless its a top up at night..

Breastmilk supply does fluctuate from time to time, but this is not normally a problem - and supply does not plummet in a day to critical levels.

A drop from the 98th to 91st centile is perfectly within normal limits - literally nothing to worry about for one moment.

If he does not want to go on the breast as often as he did then the overwhelmingly likely reason is he is that he is doing what most babies beyond newborn do - becoming more efficient at getting what they need in a shorter time. This is entirely developmentally appropriate
as beyond newborn they need to take a bit of an interest in the world, they are becoming more social and becoming able to relate to you in ways that don't involve food/your breasts, the increased head control and their growing understanding of the world just give them more 'interests' in life :)

What sometimes happens is that mothers don't recognise this normal stage and keep on and on and on offering the breast and this winds the baby up and he gets frantic. He can't say politely no thanks, I'll let you know :) But we go all Mrs Doyle (Father Ted!) on them : 'You will have a breastfeed, oh, go on, go on, go on, you will feed now won't you, go on.....' and poor baby has no way of fighting back bar yelling. Of course we then take the yelling as 'proof' the baby is desperately hungry!

Does any of this ring a bell?:)

Yes it does Tiktok, thankyou..
Its just that I think he seems hungry even if he's not asking for it by crying as he keeps making sucking noises at me. He's incredibly alert for his age (a little bit scary) and is already trying to sit upon his own, so maybe he's constantly distracted. I suppose its just that I love feeding so much. It was a real joy with DD and I'm really not enjoying it as much this time around, especially with this milk supply issue.
He's not a yelling baby, infact very passive but I suppose my Mrs Doyle may be getting the better of me. It s a paranoia of mine about my kids losing weight and he looks so bonny I suppose the underlying thing is that he's going to lose this.
Is there anything else i can do to boost supply? I cant even squeeze much out at the moment. Do you recommend a formula top up tonight as a worst case scenario?

Is there anything to suggest the fact that he isn't getting enough beyond your the fact that you can't express much? If he seems reasonably content and is still feeding frequently even if he has got quicker there doesn't seem to be anything to suggest he needs a top-up.

Supply settles down around 3m, as do the hormones which initially stimulate your body to make milk. So you would expect over-supply and leakage to stop around this point. It doesn't mean anything is wrong, just that your body now knows what your baby needs.

But he makes sucking noises because he can :) It's not code for 'feed me', honestly. Babies make all sorts of noises and sucking ones are deffo part of the repertoire.

You are not worried because he looks so bonny. You are worried in case he stops looking so bonny.....this sounds very anxiety making and it's misplaced, as far as I can tell from what you say.

I am not even going to suggest anything to boost supply because nothing you have said makes me think for a second you have a supply drop or a supply problem or that you are at any risk of having this happen.

Why would you want to squeeze milk out? That tells you nothing at all, believe me!

Is there some way of working on the worry and the anxiety? And being able to relax and enjoy him? And not worry about the weight....no need to weigh a healthy baby of this age, anyway, truly :)

oh I'm such a flipping stressmonger and I'm sure you're both right. Its just that I feel like a real failure with these seemingly empty breasts. When they are full he really munches on them and he's tugging on them trying to bring on some kind of let down. I normally get real electric shock letdowns - today, nothing. Could it be me worrying thats stopping this? Do I need a slap?!

Is the tugging on the breast a sign that he's not getting enough?

No, they do that cause they like to. It's fun

(Just think of his Daddy!)

Without being facetious though, tugging can stimulate a faster let-down which, he might prefer but it doesn't mean that he isn't getting enough. Just that he'd may quite like to get it faster.

You would have to rewrite the medical and anatomical literature if the mother of a 3 mth old baby on the 90th centile suddenly lost her milk and had 'empty breasts' - they may feel and even look empty but that's what happens with well-established bf. The fat that gives the breasts shape is replaced with less bulky milk-making and storing tissue.

Many people find let down sensations disappear. Some people never feel them. It would be unusual (I would say) to still get a powerful sensation such as you describe at 3 mths.

Many babies tug and pat and play with the breasts - maybe this is part of stimulating a let down, but that's ok, isn't it?

You are positively looking for reasons to worry, I think, you know!!

I have a reputation with my worrying, believe me! I think I'm still in that baby moon stage - weirdly at 3 months. He is such a special little man and its the thought that I can't provide him with my own milk. When he went on a nursing strike, which was for 24 hours, so you can imagine the state I was in, I gave him a small bottle of formula which he gulped down in a few minutes. This made me question why I was trying to hard to feed him when he obviously preferred formula and may be why I'm so concerned now. Am I actually depriving him of a better meal? I've never used formula - DD was breastfed until she was around 16 months and I'm not anti it in any way, just love the bond I have with him when I feed him, thats all...

brightongirl, you are doing an amazing job, empty breast feeling is a sign that bf is established, I'm on ds3 and am still in babymoon, your its normal to drop a centile, he will be using energy growing and moving. enjoy your bundle of joy

I gave my baby a bottle of expressed milk and she gulped it down in a scarily short time. I think babies just gulp bottles. Bottles are kind of boring, why would you want to hang about? Whereas boobs provide other types of comfort as well so a baby might take it's time.

My 12 week old pulls on my boobs all the time. She's definitely getting enough. She just likes to see how far she can stretch my boob before I tell her off.

thanks guys - think i should pack myself off to a meditation retreat to calm down...
i will try and believe in my boobs, they've got this far with him...