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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

getting 5wo to go longer between feeds at night

34 replies

Bigglewinkle · 10/05/2011 05:21

My DD is ebf and doing really well with it but I'm finding it difficult to get her to take the 2nd boob to make her go longer btw feeds. She just falls asleep after the first one.
I get her out of her blankets, having waited a bit for her to cry/wake up properly (I don't just rush in and stick a nipple in her mouth). I take a foot out of her sleep suit and tickle her on her foot, hand and under her chin.
I'm considering turning the light on fully for the first boob to get her awake for the 2nd, this is what I do for the dreamfeed with a nappy change too, to get her to fully feed and that gets me a 4h30 break instead of a measly 2h30 btw feeds!! Is there any advice on this? Many thanks

OP posts:

TanteRose · 10/05/2011 05:30

at 5 weeks, there is not much you are going to be able to do, frankly...she is only JUST beginning to realise the difference between night and day, and if you start turning lights on, you may have more of a problem on your hands...

she is still sooo tiny! you really have to just go with the flow for a few more weeks yet. (my DD woke to feed every 2 hours, day and night for her first YEAR! - I hope you manage to do better than that )

MummyBerryJuice · 10/05/2011 06:27

Firstly, congratulations on your little girl. It sounds like you are doing very well.

I second TanteRose at five weeks your DD is still not entirely sure about the difference between day and night and you are already seeing that it is impossible to force a baby to breastfeed. It sounds like she has had enough milk after the first breast and doesn't want anymore. Unfortunately, even if you do manage to get her to take some from the second breast, she is unlikely to go for much longer between feeds. Also at five weeks she will be unable to self settle and feeding her as soon as possible may make it easier for you to get back to sleep.

Have yo considered co-sleeping?

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 10/05/2011 07:41

congrats on your dd and bf, sounds like it's going well.

In addition to the excellent advice above i just wanted to add this...at this early stage demand feeding isn't just about meeting your dd's needs, important as that is. It also helps establish and regulate your supply. i would worry that trying to stretch the time between feeds might affect your supply, thereby making feeds less efficient, when what you want is for them to be more efficient.

It can feel endless at first, but by three months i remember being confused as to why ds wouldn't feed. He was feeding...just not like a newborn anymore! He was getting upset cause i kept trying to shove a boob in his gob.

It will it better if you can stick with it.

cobweb1979 · 10/05/2011 08:12

Their tummies are sooo small at that age you can't force more in than they will hold!

Original poster

Bigglewinkle · 10/05/2011 08:20

Aah! Thank you lovelies! May be it's the sleep deprivaton making me impatient for more sleep, not helped by the fact I have a DS who is 2yo and full on...
It feels better to know that there's nothing else I should be doing and I just have to hang on in there

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 10/05/2011 09:50

I found it better to stick a nipple in at the first squeak so neither of us had to wake up properly during the night. I also thought it was great when ds only wanted one side at night because I didn't have to stay awake to switch sides, I just latched him on and went back to sleep

TruthSweet · 10/05/2011 11:36

Also, I wonder if babies don't usually take the 2nd side at night might be because after they have had a good feed, the milk flow will be slower and easier to control with their level of awakeness than a fresh'n'full breast which might be too much milk/too fast a letdown for a tired newborn (great if they are awake and hungry though).

Just a random thought though not scientific fact

Congratulations on you new little girl too

Hopefully · 10/05/2011 12:01

2h30? . I was feeling all smug the other night because DS2 fed 2hrly all night (after cluster feeding ALL evening) until his regular 5am monster feed (2hrs cluster feeding again). I guess he's so much better than DS1 (never slept) that it doesn't feel too bad.

Sounds like you're doing really well though, and would second the advice to feed as quickly as poss and get back to sleep. Maybe rethink at 12 weeks if you're really struggling then - she'll be that bit bigger and you might have some other settling tactic by then.

Fantail · 10/05/2011 13:41

Don't worry, in a few weeks you will be waking up wishing your DD was awake to feed.

bex2011 · 10/05/2011 14:06

My DS is 6w and I'm really reassured to have read this thread. He feeds (ebf) every 2 hours or so during the day (sometimes more frequent) and at night he has a longish sleep from about 8-12, then feeds every 1hr30 - 2hrs thereafter. I've just had the HV round who sounded surprised that he wasn't sleeping through yet and said that she would expect most babies to be sleeping through by 8 weeks. She suggested that I should be very strict with routine during the day, only feeding every 2hr30 and this should then help with nights. She also said to get out of bed to feed. I nodded in all the right places and smiled, but have no intention yet to try this. I figure he is still so tiny. He is putting on weight well and I'm holding up during the day.

haloflo · 10/05/2011 14:28

I am also reassured by this thread. DD is 6w and is EBF. She has no pattern to the time she first goes to sleep (sometime between 7 and 11) but in the last week her first sleep has always been the longest. It has been as long as 5 hours. After that she is awake every 1-2 hours though, often only wanting a short feed before going back to sleep.

Beaurevage · 10/05/2011 14:41

Happy I came across this thread! My DS is 7 wks now. We go 3 to 3.5hrs between feeds during the day. For the last week or so I've been finding it similar to haloflo - first sleep of the night, whenever it starts, is longer. But he still gets up after 3 hrs during the night for a quick feed. I can't force him to drink more during the night though. Haven't gone as far as undressing him or turning the lights on (trying to establish difference between night and day) but have tried the tickle etc. Perhaps I'll just relax and go with it....?

RitaMorgan · 10/05/2011 14:50

bex - your HV sounds nuts! I don't know anyone, even my ff-ing friends, whose 8 week old slept through. Plus, how will feeding a baby less often in the day make them sleep more at night? Surely they'll have to feed more often to make up for it?

And don't get out of bed to feed any sooner than you have to! My ds wasn't out of my bed until he only needed 1 night feed, no way was I traipsing around at night, I like my sleep

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 10/05/2011 15:13

bex that is shocking advice from your hv. Good on you for ignoring it, long may it continue! most babies sleep through by 8wks my arse. And what terrible worry she must cause mothers who's instincts are not as strong as yours. Not to mention the distress to poor babies, who's normal behaviour she treats as a problem.

You ladies are all doing really well and what you describe all sounds very normal to me. Good on you all.

Fwiw imo one of the reasons we have low bf rates in this country is that ff is so common most people don't know what is normal for a bf baby. When a ff baby is supposed to feed min every three hours then fall calmly asleep, but bf ones rarely go two hours off the boob, people think something is wrong. Really their baby is just a normal bf baby.

It can be hard work at first but soon settles down...just try and rest and get by.

When it all seems too time consuming i like to remind myself that it's an investment. Time spent in snuggley bf now = less time spent looking after a poorly infant (now and later, as bf helps protect against all sorts of illness).

Oh and one last encouragement...it is the bf babies frequent feeding which is natural and normal, the gaps between ff's being artificial (no offence ment anyone)

Original poster

Bigglewinkle · 10/05/2011 18:31

Right I'm set up for tonight with a much better frame of mind, thanks again.

OP posts:

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 10/05/2011 19:51

AngelDog · 10/05/2011 23:20

bex, your HV is seriously nuts. :( It sounds like a totally normal sleep pattern for that age.

Day/night organisation doesn't really get established till 6-8 weeks, so it's really early days.

Lots of people find that whether the LO takes one or two breasts at night makes no difference at all to how long they sleep for.

Indaba · 10/05/2011 23:22

hang on in there
all babies are different
some take 12-20 weeks to get more regular, if at all
all sounds v v v normal

lilham · 11/05/2011 03:46

Just like to say like haloflo and beaurevage my 6wo goes longest on the first sleep of the night. This I found usually follows hours of cluster feeding. Tonight she made a record of 6 hours. But normally it's 2-3 hours between feeds. Its rubbish when the cluster feeds happen during late afternoon and the long stretch of sleep starts at 7pm. But I cant make a sleepy baby feed or make a hungry wait.

Original poster

Bigglewinkle · 11/05/2011 04:13

Just got to share my latest experience! And this is a lesson in being careful what you wish for!! Tonight she fed at 12, 230 and then just woke at 315 to a big poo. So change her in the dark and feed her... Hurray it's 2 boobs!!! Wriggle wriggle burp... Uh oh BIG posset, she spurts milk all down my left side, and now my dressing gown is very soggy - glad I fed her in nursing chair though. Wouldn't want soggy bed...

OP posts:

Fantail · 11/05/2011 06:52

Ah yes, the night time change of clothes for Mum. I've had to do that, but for bodily fluids coming out the other end of my DD! Explosiveness at 2am is never a good thing!

What I have noticed is that people use "sleeping through the night" to mean different things, including:

a five hour stretch
a 12 hour stretch
doing a dream feed, but then not waking
only waking once in a 12 hour period.

My EBF 10 week old DD has just achieved her first 5 hour stretch and has been consistently doing 4 hours for about 2 weeks. She still feeds every 2 - 2.5 hours during the day.

I am always surprised when people mention their health visitor - I haven't seen or heard from mine since she came for a home visit. I took DD for a weigh in at 5 weeks because she was very slow to regain birthweight (took almost 4 weeks), but didn't see a health visitor only two assistants who were weighing. I don't have any concerns, but do find it odd given I am a first time Mum, so wouldn't necessarily know if there was something to be concerned about.

lilham · 11/05/2011 07:57

Fantail I find support from HV very inconsistent depending on where you live. I have only one home visit from them on day 10. But they run a local 5-week postnatal classes for first time mums, where they teach us basics like sickness, weaning and even baby massage. Of course you get to ask questions too.

I know of mums from other HCT that gets more home visits instead.

MummyBerryJuice · 11/05/2011 08:02

From my dealings with mums it seems the HVs get a bee in their bonnets about something and then won't let a mum alone about it while completely ignoring another mum and baby that need intervention more urgently . It seems very erratic and at times unprofessional

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 11/05/2011 08:40

What mbj said. A hv hounded mw friend (told pnd but prob grief as lost her partner while pg) about moving her ds's bed time forward by half an hour! And came to worry her about "observe" him having solids. Yes she needed support, but she got harassment.

MummyBerryJuice · 11/05/2011 08:50

We (bf support group) support a mum (who is a hcp herself!) who is bf her 3rd, yes 3rd, DS but he is a slow-gainer. 3oz a week only. Different members of the hv team have harrassed her in public about giving him formula and tried to scare her (again in public) by telling her she is risking his brain development.

All the while he has plenty of dirty and wet nappies, is trying to roll over, gaining head control, has a great latch and is obviously drinking well at the breast.

I am incensed and want to complain on her behalf!

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