What age does on demand feeding stop?

[sh77]

Ds is 8 weeks old and bfs every 2 to 3 hours. I have no plans to stop on demand feeding but just wondered how long demand feeding lasts? Is it possible to schedule a routine for feeding or do feeds become more spaced out as baby gets older?

I found feeds became a bit more predictable around 4-5 months - still 2-3 hourly, but I knew when he would want to feed (generally before and after sleeps). You could impose a schedule if you want but I found it easier to just go with the flow.

In my experience as nap times become more regular, feeds fell in around them. DS dropped feeds himself as he started on solids, and dropped nightfeeds with prompting from me between 6 and 8 months.

It should get easier soon. I can't really remember how it went with my two but I can say that the amount of feeds gradually decreases and then when food is introduced decreases substantially.

Dc2 is 8 months old and feeds morning/bedtime and once or twice in between. Mind you, he eats a lot of food.

Yes, like Rita ds dropped his night feeds with a bit of prompting at around 6 months.

The best think about bf is you just do it on demand. How long it last depends on several things, the main one being how long your ds wants to continue and if you are happy to continue.

My ds dropped the day time feeds himself at about 10months (he just refused) and then his bedtime feed a few weeks after. The health visitor said I must be sad about that. I thought she was mad. Why would I be sad that he had decided to do it!? It wasn't upsetting for either of us, just a natural progression.

My neighbours fed her dd2 until almost 3years old. She stopped as was pregnant with ds2 but seemed to find it uncomfortable to admit she ws still bf at that age. I simply said that the WHO recommends breast feeding till the age of 5 and it was up to her what she chose to do. Her ds2 stopped of his own accord at around about 6 months. I'm sure she wou;d of continued had be wanted too, but he didn't.

I still do demand feeding with DD3 who's 18m and sort of do demand feeding with DD2 who's 3.5y/o.

Today DD2 had a feed when she asked for it in when we were all snuggled up in bed having a family cuddle but got turned down when she asked as I was playing on the Wii . She quite happily carried on playing and didn't make a fuss. She normally has a feed between 3 times a day if she's in a lot of pain (has some sort of arthritic condition) or once a week if she's ok.

DD3 has a feed on waking, perhaps one or maybe two in the day (though not always) and one before bed (between 6-7pm) and then sometimes one about 10/11pm or one at about 5am-ish but not always occasionally she sleeps through which is nice. She is very small though so I don't mind the night feeds.

Some mums find that they fall into this sort of pattern with feeds and solid foods at around 7-12 months:-

Wake
BF
Solids
BF
Sleep
BF
Solids
Sleep
BF
Solids
BF
Sleep
BF as needed in the night (or not if baby sleeps through)

At around 12-18m it seems to be more like (though offering if baby is upset/distressed/in pain on top):-

Wake
BF
Breakfast
BF/Snack/Water
Lunch
BF
Sleep
BF/Snack/Water
Dinner
BF
Sleep
BF as needed in the night (or not if baby sleeps through)

I'm not suggesting that these are hard and fast 'routines' or 'schedules' but rather patterns that some babies seem to adopt and that work for them. Obviously there are babies who's day looks nothing like this or babies who request feeds at seemingly random times. Neither sort of baby is wrong, just different.

Thank you all for your insights. Very helpful.

Rita & yama - what sort of prompting did you use for dropping of night feeds?

Hi sh77 :) Am awaiting responses from Rita and Yama so marking my place! Ds2 is ebf. He is only 4 months but last night fed every hour!! I'm hoping it's teething or growth spurt but have feeling he's 'using' me as dummy to go back to sleep?

I know you didn't ask me but just thought i'd share mw experience of night feeds.

I have never tried to nightwean ds 15m but he has been through lots of different phases from not feeding at all to feeding lots. We had a couple of rough months when he was learning to walk that miraculasly cleared up when he cracked it. Clearly he was at a busy developmental stage and needed hv perhaps too busy to pack in enough cals during the day)

He is a hungry boy and sometimes wakes in the night really hungry and we have to get up for solids! So i'm more than happy to pop him on the boob and see if it settles him first (we co sleep). Most nights he latches on a few times and we both drop back off in minutes.

I did consider night weaning when i found out i am pg. But someone on here pointed out that he might still wake (i know much older and ff nightweaned children that still wake).children wake for lots of different reasons but a bf can settle in most circumstances. At least this way i have a reliable way of getting him back to sleep.

I know it wouldn't work for everyone but for me night feeds are a weapon in my armoury. They help me get more sleep!

The 'prompting'.

At around 6 months we figured out that ds waking at 2am might be habit so tackled that first. Dh would pat ds back to sleep. He has a musical toy which we play when he goes to sleep. The patting and music lulled him back to sleep. It took about a week. Dh did it in case ds smelt my milk.

So, routine at 6-7 months:

7pm - dh bathed and got him ready for bed.
7.20pm - I fed and put into cot.
10.30pm - dream feed.
Up to 4am - Patted back to sleep with musical trigger.
After 4am - Taken into our bed and fed.

We then dropped the dream feed. Usually ds sleeps until 5am and then I feed him and we sleep until I have to get up and get dd ready for school.

One other thing we found is that ds sleeps better in his own room.

sorry to hijack sh77!

Thanks yama and moonface for your advice. I co-slept with ds1 and so am doing so out of habit I guess with ds2. The cot is beside me in the room but he never lasts long in it. He's only little so at the minute I am doing as you describe moonface. He stirs, I feed, he drops off to sleep within 5-10 minutes and so do I.
Last night has left me wondering though if I should be trying to settle him (ssh pat) style in his cot beside me if i'm pretty sure he's not hungry.

I swore I wasn't going to over analyse this time around Ds1 went through many phases and is now 5 and sleeps in his own room all night so no matter what i know everything passes!

Hi Tamdin. Yes, I also have a 5 year old and seem to be doing things differently this time. She didn't go into her own room until she was 12 months old.

At 4 months I just fed ds whenever he woke up. What I did start doing though (at around 5 months) was taking him off after 5-10 minutes and seeing if he would go back to sleep straight away. He did. This told me that he was probably comfort feeding rather than hungry. Fine by me but it did give us the confidence to 'ssh pat' at 6 months when he woke at 2am.

I have to say that dh's involvement was/is key. He would always be the one putting ds back into his cot, doing the 'ssh patting' at 2am and collecting him at 4/5am. Otherwise I think I would have co-slept.

At 4 months my ds's sleep went haywire (4 month sleep regression!) and he was feeding constantly/wanting to sleep latched on at night. Until then we'd been co-sleeping, but at 5 months decided to move him into his own room. Like Yama I was pretty confident all the night feeding wasn't about hunger, it was a sleep aid, so I stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime and only fed 4 hourly in the night, and DP settled ds with cuddling/rocking/a dummy. It only took a few nights to settle into 2 nightfeeds - one around 11pm, one around 3am.

At 6 months when ds was having 3 solid meals a day, plus 5 or 6 daytime breastfeeds (on demand), we decided to see if he could go a bit longer at night so after the 11pm feed (it was a dreamfeed, so I didn't wake ds for it just lifted him up and fed him in his sleep) I didn't feed him again til 5-6am. If he woke in between again DP sorted him out, offered water and cuddles. Soon he was going 11pm-6am then coming into bed with us for a morning feed/snooze.

Just before 8 months I started bringing the dreamfeed a few minutes earlier each night until it was at 9pm, then we dropped it completely. I fed him at bedtime 7.30pm, and then if he woke after 5am brought him into bed with me for a feed.

Unfortunately he didn't quite sleep through as this coincided with him learning to pull up to standing, so he kept doing that in his cot at night and waking up confused and needing us to lie him back down! Since he got over that though he sleeps 7.30-8pm to 5.30-6am.

I also felt it was really important that DP tackle the wakings where we weren't feeding - not necessarily because ds "smells my milk", but he does know mummy has the milk and wouldn't have understood my refusal to feed him, whereas he doesn't expect milk from DP so is happier to accept cuddles. It seemed cruel to me to have gone to him then not fed him.

I still feed on demand in the day time but it tends to be about 4 times a day - unless he is ill, teething, has bumped his head, we keep him out late, I need to keep him quiet or occupied on a train etc etc

Thanks Yama that sounds like a good plan. He's only just turned 4 months so we'll see how things go over next 2 months and when weaning starts and go from there. :)

Sorry Thanks Rita have just seen your post. He still feels bit small to put in his own room (plus it's full of boxes!) but I know alot can change in 4-8 weeks so I will reassess then. There I was thinking this time I'd get a sleeper!

Still early days for me but thanks for the advice on prompting and help from dh.