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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

RANT - That's it I've had enough

17 replies

NatChrisBump · 08/05/2011 11:34

I'm going to stop breastfeeding, last night was just the last straw. Baby is 8 weeks this week and I've had nothing but problems, it gets me down, causes rows between me and the hubby and I just feel it affects James.

At 2/3 weeks I developed a massive abscess in my left breast which was undiagnosed by the GP (despite going in twice she gave me antibiotics and didn't even look at me) until I saw a locum GP on the 3rd visit. She rushed me straight to the hospital and thanks to her (and I mean this in a lovely way as I'm really grateful) I had surgery and have a hole that is slowly healing and have daily visits from the District Nurses who are also lovely. There is no sign of any milk production from this breast as the abscess was really big and damaged lots of tissue, it's also covered completely with dressings. I have been feeding solely from the right breast and topping up with formula and J has been doing really well.

Yesterday he rubbed his gums on my good nipple and now it's so sore I can't feed him from it. I expressed this morning and my nipple went a funny colour in the pump (blueish and bruised). This has scared me senseless as I don't want another abscess.

This being the case I now want to bottlefeed for all feeds and wonder should I just stop, keep expressing and increase his bottles? I don't want an upset and sad baby, but I'm getting really reallly low and lacking in confidence.

I feel bad enough as it is, so please don't shout at me.

OP posts:

ongakgak · 08/05/2011 11:44

You have been through so much, and I think you have ben incredibly brave and to have gone on for 8 weeks is amazing given what you have had to endure. No shouting from me.

Is there a BF counsellor you can talk to, and see if it is worth/safe to keep going? I would call La leech Legue and get some advice, and take it from there. if you decide to give your baby FF, do not even give it a second thought, you are giving your DS just what he needs, so do not feel bad about it at all.

Sorry that you have had such a rough time, and if you did stop to BF, you can feel secure in the knowledge you did everything you could, and fed for 8 weeks. Congratulations.

Hope it all works out for you either way, take it easy, get people to give you a hand, order take out.

i am sure some knowledgeable BF counsellors will be along shortly to give you some better advice.

coldcomfortHeart · 08/05/2011 12:52

Blimey I don't think anyone in their right mind would shout at you- you've really been through the mill. I hope you feel proud to have fed for so long as well, because you certainly should!

I can imagine the panicky feeling that you might experience the same sort of pain and ordeal on the other side that came with the gum trauma. But it might just be a one-off that will pass and the nipple will heal fine.

But if you feel you really have had enough and have made the decision to stop, just do it slowly, replacing one feed at a time, so your breast can cope with the change without getting engorged and uncomfortable (or worst case scenario infected).

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and I second the advice to get some in-depth real life face to face help from someone like an NCT/BfN/LLL counsellor who knows what they're talking about.
HTH

notthewowy · 08/05/2011 13:00

I understand. There comes a point where it's just not worth putting yourself through it any more, same with anything really. I'm going through similar at the moment. I can't tell you what to do though I feel like giving up most days (7 week old baby) but if you want to talk about it please feel free to get in touch.

gkys · 08/05/2011 13:30

do what is good for you, thats whats best for your baby, you have really been through the mill, good luck, and congratulations on your new arrival

MigGril · 08/05/2011 20:09

I good chat with a BF counciler is called for I think.
National Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 100 0212

NCT Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 330 0771

La Leche League Helpline
0845 120 2918

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
08444 122 949

If you want support to coninue or need help stopping. I think it's improtant you have a chat with them as they will advice you how best to stop so you don't end up with the same problem on the other side which I'm sure is the last thing you need righ now.

nethunsreject · 08/05/2011 20:16

You poor thing.

Try the helplines. They are the least judgey people ever. If you do pack it in, do NOT feel at all bad. You've had a hellish time. But do try a bf counsellor first, if you want to.

JustKeepSwimming · 08/05/2011 20:23

Definitely don't just stop, you will get engorged & it will be bloody painful (though maybe not by your standards re the other side!).

If you don't want to feed directly again, don't. Express roughly when you would have fed - and you may as well feed him the EBM, no point in wasting it! and gradually express less and less, making sure you stay comfortable.

Another well done for keeping going this long & through all you've been through.
8 weeks is a lot longer than lots of people manage, so don't feel bad about stopping.

But yes, try and see someone directly/speak to someone for more advice.

beamel · 08/05/2011 20:31

Can't add anything to the advice already given. Just wanted to say well done for getting this far and good luck whatever you decide to do.

ElsieR · 08/05/2011 20:52

Well done for having persisted thought all your troubles.
Don't let anyone judge you if you decide to stop and don't feel bad either. A happy mummy makes a happy baby. Good luck.

SnuffleTurtle153 · 09/05/2011 09:25

Don't feel awful. You've done brilliantly to feed for this long through all those problems. Please remember that you are just as important as your small person, and the benfits of being a sane and happy mummy arguably far outweigh the benefits of exclusive breast feeding. Do whatever feels right for the two of you. Good luck x

SnuffleTurtle153 · 09/05/2011 09:28

(Also - if you do decide to stop, the advice from my m/w when I did it was to STOP. No expressing, as this will simply send the message to your body that it needs to keep producing milk. She did suggest sitting in a hot bath with a flannel on each boob, as this encourages the milk to leak out (to relieve engorgement) without more being produced, and this really helped. My boobs felt like boulders for 2 days, were painful for one more day, then totally back to pre-pregnancy state on the fourth and I've had no problems since. Talk to your m/w to get advice first though, because the fact that you've had an abcess may mean you can't just simply 'stop' in the same way).

anonMum2 · 09/05/2011 12:35

I think you've been done so amazingly well. Thought I was no longer hormonal as I stopped BF 2+ weeks ago but reading your OP I've been a bit shedding tears for you!

For me even trying to stop at 6 weeks wasn't that easy, painful lumps and I kept fearing mastitis again, for you abcess which is even worse. A few days went by whereby DS2 had nursing strike and I thought, oh this is good, no issues with breasts even thought I'm only feeding 1-3 times a day. Anyway, few days later my body really reacted and I was massively engorged, had really big painful lumps etc. and I had the feeling like I was getting infection again. So after loads of massages in bath/shower(which helped massively), I put DS2 back on breasts despite everything and in the end I managed stopped at 10 weeks, even then I still had loads of leakages and lumps and was in agony for days.

So if you do decide to stop, bear in mind you might have to stop gradually, all depends on your body. I have heard of people who just stopped overnight without any issues but I'm definitely not one of them.

anonMum2 · 09/05/2011 12:36

oh gosh.. sorry for all the typos. Holding baby and rushing post.

Original poster

NatChrisBump · 09/05/2011 17:30

Thanks for all your kind words they've made me feel a lot better about things.

Unfortunately the decision has been taken out of my hands as I have an infection in the good boob!! My lovely GP (who admitted to me today she had been in the same situation as me and had had an abscess and tried to feed on one) and me have come to a decision to stop breastfeeding as of today. I'm on 500mg of anti-biotics and have to go back and see her on Friday, if it's not cleared up then it's back up the hospital for tests and scans as there could be another abscess.

I tried to phone the Breastfeeding Network, but the Counsellor for my area 'is not available, please try again later'. I will keep trying. I am expressing at the moment and reducing the amount I express, the GP is talking about some medication I can take to stop the milk completely, but she will only give me this if the infection is still there on Friday.

Thank you for all your kind words and I'm sorry to anonMum2 that I made you cry! I've shed enough tears to day for everyone on this board I can tell you. It's crazy just how much pressure a woman can feel to be this perfect 'breastfeeding, natural birth wonder woman', some of us are just normal and aren't!! (That's not a dig at any breastfeeding, natural birth wonder women out there as I admire you and know a few!!)

Nat xx

OP posts:

catinthehat2 · 09/05/2011 18:04

look at it this way, for 9+2months = best part of a year, everything that made your son what he is today came from you directly! that's impressive

fruitybread · 09/05/2011 19:33

Just wanted to congratulate you on how far you've got BF-ing, especially with what you've been through. Abscesses are truly shocking things.

And I'm appalled at the GP who didn't even look at you, when you'd gone in twice and needed antibiotics. What a crappy lack of support.

Best of luck with the next step, and I hope things get easier for you, you have been through the mill.

ongakgak · 09/05/2011 19:34

op so glad that you have spoken with your GP and are finding a way forward.

You are a super woman wonder mum, we all are, no matter how we birth/feed.

Hope you feel better soon. x

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