advice needed from those who have breast fed beyond 1

[Ineedacoffee]

DS is 1 on Sunday and we are quite happily still breast feeding just mornings and evenings. This has been the case for about 3 months when I went back to work. Although he took a bottle of expressed milk for the first 8 months or so he then stopped. We even managed 24 hours away at a wedding when he was 5 months. He is now feeding to sleep at night and having a nice long cuddly feed every morning (usually starting about 5.30am but thats a different problem!)

So my problem is although he drinks from a cup it is still only sips - not even an oz at a time and we have a no-children wedding in 3 weeks. It is in Bristol and the plan was that my mum would go and stay with my aunt about 45 mins away and look after DS and we would stay in a hotel in the centre of the city near the venue. (we live up north, mum is in London so not very close) I am really worried about how this is going to work and think that he and my mum will have a horrible night with him not settling and I wont enjoy myself because I'll be stressing so now I am wondering whether to go at all. Does anyone have any advice as to how to do without boob at this point when they wont take a bottle? I only have 2 friends who have fed this long and both their children self weaned so I don't know where else to go for advice. Thanks for any help.

Have you tried a variety of cups? inc bog standard tommee tippee - they were the only ones my 2 seemed to get on with, as you don;t need to suck.
Have yuo tried him with an open cup, with you feeding?
Doidy cup? I ahve one I cold send you if you want to try it out?

So how does he drink water? As long as he gets some liquid I wouldn't stress that he won't get milk at all for 24 - 36 hours. DS never took a bottle, nor did (does) he really drink milk from a cup - he has water from a cup and milk from me if I am around. Is the problem how to get him to sleep? Chances are he will be fine settling with someone else without milk, even though obviously when you are there he wants it. Can you do a dry run for the settling beforehand?

I have tried loads of cups and open ones - the only time he's drunk any reasonable amount was in the bath - bathwater out of my shaving gel lid - nice! (v bad mummy!) doidy cup is a good idea though i will give that a go. I'm sure I just need to persevere its just with the wedding comming up I'm getting stressed.

as clean says he will be fine! Unless you are worried about dehydration (which I do think is unlikely anyway)
Can your mum make sure he gets plenty of yoghurt and cheese?

i wouldn't worry about it tbh! just use whatever cup you normally give him water/juice in during the day.
if he is thirsty then he will drink from it, and your mum can cuddle him to sleep or take him for a walk or whatever.

he'll be fine! and if he really isn't happy then she can call you can't she?

I bf'd to 21 months, only just stopped.

I wonder if your last sentence just there gives a clue - you're getting stressed. I think it's possible he picks up on that. Do you possibly give him a cup and then hover or watch him like a hawk to see if he manages it? If he picks up on it being something you're not actually expecting him to succeed at, then he might not do it. (I had this but a totally different issue - was about the grandmothers and that I was instantly tense when either of them was around).

Practising taking time away from him is something which will help you with the separation on the wedding occasion too - can you go out on your own or with friends for half a day shopping or something, and leave him with daddy to fend for themselves?

At about 1 he probably has a couple of naps then a decentish long sleep at night/is pretty tired at bedtime, so I expect that plenty of cuddles from someone will be enough to get him to sleep even though he usually gets a BF

I went back to work when DS was this age and missed some bedtimes, DH would offer a bit of cows milk in a cup and just hold him/give dummy and he would crash out ok. I couldn't put him down for the night without a BF til he weaned at 2 and a bit though

I think if he is thirsty he will take some drink ok. He won't expect a BF from someone else. And have a great time!

Your son will be fine, he won't starve or dehydrate overnight as long as he drinks something, at 1, your breast milk is not his only source of nutrition.
Have you considered your own comfort? If you're away you may need to express milk.
I went back to work when DD about 8 months old and she wouldn't take milk of any kind except breast milk from source, she sipped water from a cup when I was not there.

thanks everyone - general concensus seems to be that I need to relax (not that my husband hasn't already suggested that!) Will try to focus on the far more important issue of finding some heels I can walk in! I think I just needed to hear it from someone who is a) not DH and b)doesn't think I'm weird for still breast feeding!

You're not weird at all. I thought extended breast feeding was weird until I found myself still doing it when DD was 2.5 yrs, then realised it was perfectly ok and simply suits some and not others.

Just stopped breast feeding, DD was 22 months. I started the process of weaning by stopping feeding to sleep, I would feed her and when she started to drop off I would immediately stop and put her in her bed. Then I would read her a story. After a while I switched to offering cows milk at bedtime through a straw cup whilst reading her stories. You could express breast milk in advance and try offering through a straw cup maybe?

My 16 m.o. DS needs to be rocked to sleep if not fed. If you just cuddled him, he'd try to mountaineer all over you!

I'd keep offering a cup but as a water filled toy to play with. If you can see it as a toy rather than something he should be drinking from, it might help you feel more relaxed. Obviously only putting a bit of water in at a time will also help your sanity.

My DS has always found the doidy cup easier to drink from than a sippy one.

Gah, rubbish italics.