Worried I wont be able to BF

[MummiMoMo]

Hi
I'm new to this site but have heard lots of great things about it and think I just need some support.
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I'm worried I won't be able to BF for a few reasons; baby has a blocked bowel so will need surgery when a few days old so I don't know if s/he will be able to feed at all. Also, yesterday my mum told me that she couldn't feed any of her 4 kids and I know that her sister - my Aunty - was also told that she wasn't "a good cow". Admittedly my cousins are all grandparents themselves now and I'm 38 (today as it goes) so this was a while ago. I would also have expected to have had some leakage from my breasts by now, but have had nowt so far.
Reassurance please!

I'm no expert at all so can't comment on the surgery aspect, but I didn't have any leakage at all before the baby was born and then went on to breastfeed for 16 months. Plenty of embarrassing leakage moments after the birth!
Also I know my mum couldn't feed me, so easy/difficult feeding doesn't necessarily run in families.

Hopefully someone more useful will come along soon, and I hope your baby's surgery goes well.

I have no experience on the surgery front. I would call the hospital and ask to speak to their bf specialist and find out what support you can expect. Be prepared to dig your heels in. You may need to talk to the Dr/surgeon too, find out if you baby will be able to be fed or if he will be tube fed at any point so you can make sure that there will be a hospital pump for you to use for expressing.

Otherwise, only a very tiny percentage of women cannot bf, mostly this is due to being on certain medications. A lot of women think that they don't have enough milk etc because of bad advise and this was pretty common back in the day when women were told to feed for 10 mins each side and so on. For the vast majority, so long as you feed on demand you will have enough milk. Milk is produced on a supply and demand basis, the more you feed the more you have. Sometimes it feels as though the baby is feeding all the time and you cna't possibly have enough but that is just the way small babies are.

Not everyone leaks. Some women don't even leak when their milk comes in. Lucky cows .

If you have concerns then call a couple of the helplines, find out if there is someone local to you, find out about local support groups so that if you do run into problems with latch or other stumbling blocks like thrush or mastitis then you can get support quickly.

Lastly, relax :)

I never leaked before DD arrived (tried to express before and couldn't) and my Mum couldn't BF either DB or me. I have tons of milk now and DD is 5 months. I leak blinking constantly now.

Indith has given some excellent advice there.
Less than 2% of women genuinely cannot lactate - in fact it is possible to lactate even when you have never been pregnant!

Sadly the dynamic breastfeeding relationship has broken down in the last 100 years as medical professional took over advising new mums and tried to regulate breastfeeding putting limits on times and frequencies - this will stop up your supply as the baby cannot give your body sufficient signals to make enough milk, so you don't produce enough, baby is not satisfied, baby requires top ups from other sources so requires less BM - it is a vicious circle. So please do not think because your aunt & mum couldn't feed that you can't. The chances are they were separated from their babies as soon as they were born and only given limited opportunities to feed.

You should certainly be able to feed the colostrum and milk until it is time for your baby to have the surgery but you must get expert breastfeeding advice from your local breastfeeding counsellor (your MW/consultant should be able to supply details, or try the NCT/ABM/LaLecheLeague). At the very least you should be able to express milk to tube or cup feed your baby if he/she is not able to latch on.

I am one of those lucky cows who don't leak during pregnancy and also didn't leak much during breastfeeding, even in the first few days (sticks tongue out at Indith ) so this is definitely no indication that you won't produce milk.

You could try now as you start producing colostrum midway during your pregnancy but again if this not successful this does not mean you won't produce any to feed your baby.

Good luck with your baby and I hope all goes well with the surgery.

Hi there,
hope I can help a little. My baby was born a year ago, but was extremely ill. he was in intensive care for a month. I was desperate to BF but as he was so poorly I couldn't do this at first.

I wanted him to have my milk as soon as possible, even if it was just the colostrum. When they brought him off sedation, at first they gave him TPN which has all the essential nutrients he needed, then tube fed him my colostrum then milk.

I was able to express every 2-3 hours from the morning after his birth, there should be facilities in your NICU/SCBU at your hospital. Ask your consultant/midwife.

when he was well enough, they let me try putting him to the breast, and after a lot of perseverance and help, we managed it.

I BF till 6 1/2 months which no one thought we would do!
Just don't be afraid to ask for as much help as you need, there should be a Breastfeeding Nurse at your hospital who can visit you on the ward and in SCBU for advice and support. Good Luck! :)

Thanks so much everyone, just hearing from you all has made me feel so much better.

We should be able to have a 'normal' birth at our local hospital and then get transferred to Addenbrookes when baby is a few days old. We're going to see the neonatal surgeons on Friday so I will be asking them lots of questions. If anyone can think of anything I should be asking, please let me know
x

at all the non leakers. I was given a brand new, unopened box of breast pads by a friend who never leaked a drop and had 4 dcs including twins who were bf. How the hell can you not leak with twins? The pads did not last long with me, I'm the sort who sprays half way across the room at the drop of a hat.

justkeeping that is really fantastic to have had suport to keep expressing and feeding.

Get in touch with local breastfeeding councillors now and explain what's going on and they will be able to help as well (or just go along to a group).

YOu can find groups by post code on the Real Baby Milk website

Hi MummiMoMo

Well firstly I don't think the 'family history' bit should impede you BFing. My granny couldn't BF any of her children yet my mum (her daughter) managed just fine to BF me and my brother.

I would think that with regard to the surgery, you will need to be thinking about expressing etc. Come back on here at the time and people will I'm sure give you lots of chat about that. Basic is that you will need to express every three hours, and ideally with a hospital grade pump (which the hospital should have available). When my DD was born, the ward I was on had a couple of pumps and also the NNU had a few so I was able to use them to express for her.

I don't think the leaking is anything to worry about either.

Please try and relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Wishing you all the best for the birth, and your wee one all the best for the surgery.

A lot of our parents generation think they couldn?t feed because of the crap teaching at the time about BF which was to feed every 4 hours, 10 mins per side. This means their supply never got going and they either never got started properly or didn?t produce enough milk. It won?t at all mean that you won?t be able to don?t worry. Neither will leaking colostrum or not make any difference - I know plenty of people who never leaked and fed with no problems.

Re the surgery I would do as above and contact the hospital and also perhaps try one of the helplines to see if they have any advice? I would have thought that the hospital would be really keen to get you bfing as it will be the absolute best start for your baby.

Good luck for it and I hope the surgery for the baby goes well, do let us know how you get on :)

Thanks guys for all your support. We went and saw the surgeons at Addenbrooke's and will have baby there. It's a women and children's hospital within a hospital so they are very well atuned to baby and mum's needs. They even have something called a milk kitchen! So I do think we'll get loads of support and if there is any chance at all of me feeding sprog myself, then they'll get it out of me :)

mummi Addenbrooke's also have a milk bank so if you can't produce enough milk while pumping to start with and baby has to be tube fed you can ask for doner milk.

I wanted to donate to them but we are to far out and they wouldn't collect from us :-(

Almost all mums can breastfeed and a rocky start does not mean you should give up on breastfeeding. My DD had to go to SCBU after birth, was drip then tube fed, didn't latch on until day 3 and then needed top-ups. BUT we persevered and she was off all formula by 2 weeks and ebf without top-ups by 6 weeks She's now 5 months and we're still going strong.

Stick with it and demand all the help you can get.

I was one of those Lucky Cows too . Didn't leak at all when pregnant with either DC. Leaked loads after having DC1 but not at all after having DC2 and fed both successfully for over 2 years.

Some great advice on here already but haven't read it all so sorry if I'm repeating.

Have a read of this on Kellymom and try to get yourself along to your local LLL or Bfing Support Group or both before the baby is born and make sure you pack the numbers of the helplines and any local Bfing Counsellors into your hospital bag too.

Agree that what happened to your Mum has nothing to do with how successful you will be. Women had very little support for bfing at that time, little access to evidence based information and it was easy for them to be led to believe that they were at fault somehow.

I'm sure you will be fine and if you do bf it will be the best thing to help your LO recover.

Keep posting and good luck with the operation and let us know how you are getting on and any more concerns you have.