fed up re well meant advice

[Pob71]

Can somebody please confirm for me that it not really terrible that I still bf my son at night (he is 10 months). I do know that it isnt but am now regreting a conversation with someone who was hinting that this is something I am doing for my own interests and not my sons.
I have had to go back to work so he gets some pumped milk during the day. Also we have taken it easy re solids as I didnt want him to wean prematurely as I have seen other babies do. Anyway I think it is fair enough he still feeds at night and felt guilty re having vague plans of night weaning him at one year when he will be getting more solids than at present. BTW this night weaning plan relied on dh's assistance which may be thin on the ground and therefore not that likely to happen. I suppose I'm just reaching that early stage of being considered extended bfing by some people and should stop expecting anyone other than people who bfed past this point to understand where I'm coming from. Ie he likes it, its a comfort to him and gets us all back to sleep quickly and is nutritionally what is best for him (trying to do 75% bm and 25% solids although probably not quite managing this (more solids). Was actually told this last bit was nonsense and "he doesnt need it!"

Pob, am happy to confirm that it's not terrible at all! In fact it's great!
There's a lot of ignorance on the subject of 'extended' (!) bf. Would telling this person the WHO recommends bf until 2 years shut them up? You are absolutely right that bm should remain the main source of nutrition for the first year.
ds is 5 1/2 mo, exclusively bf and I plan to keep going for as long as he wants - like you I also plan to be very careful and gradual with solids - I doubt I'll even start 'punctually' at 6mo.

Oh this really upsets me. Regardless of whether you are doing the right thing or not (in this case you definitely are), why can't people keep their stupid comments to themselves? What you are doing is great for your son. I intend to carry on bf as long as poss, night feeds and all, because it's all about what is good for him - but at 7mths I am also starting to feel the funny looks and remarks coming. They are all just jealous because deep down they must know it is the most natural thing in the world and perhaps it makes them feel a little insecure because maybe they didn't do the same?

You are fine and normal and working and feeding at night can't possibly ever be something a woman would do "just for herself" it sounds like hard work.

I bf my son till he was 1 during the night..then just around his 1st birthday he stopped totally no booby anymore. his choice. Then after 2 nights slept through..bliss!
Gowith it!

.

tou have to post something!!!

couldn't think of something quick enough

never mind!

Message withdrawn

It just seems sad that not only is there a lack of support for bf from the general population but a lack of support for "extended" bfing from a lot of women who did bfing themselves.
There seems to be a point where people expect you to be "thinking of yourself again" (so they want you to be selfish) but then hint you are being selfish by "not doing something about it".
I should give up speaking about it to them except for the urge to tell people as feel I should be ambassadorial about it.

By the way Mokola is me Pob, I had login hassle lastnight and rejoined with a different name, couldnt use the password retrieval thingy as email is different since moving house. Anyway was strange I logged in under new name and password and posted and it came out as Pob71 anyway. But not this morning.

Good on you Pob71 - bf at night is great for your baby. All the health benefits plus the closness to you. I've bf all mine for longer plus co-sleep. The reasoning I have is that do what you want to do - he's your baby, it(s your family - don't let others opinions get to you xxx

The only thing which worries me re feeding for a whole lot longer is that I am on a waiting list for having breast reduction done (obviously I have to be 100% sure that ds2 is my last child before doing this as bfing very difficult after a reduction). Anyway apparently they decide whther to do a pedicle type of op or a free nipple graph depending on your notch to nipple length. If it is less than 40cm you are ok for pedicle (which has some chance of sensation in the nipple still being there afterwards) and if over 40 cm then the free nipple graph (it is removed and reattached with the nerve supply being knackered in the process). So I would really like to avoid that but dont know how fast I am sagging IYSWIM.
I was thinking aiming to feed him till 18 months was reasonable and see how we get on, it feels like it goes against the grain with me to not do as much as I can. Also I want the boys to be older when I have this op anyway as rest during recovery is really important.

The notch is the small gap at the front of your collarbone incase anyone was wondering.
and actually it would be more accurate to say I have been referred for breast reduction (not on actual list yet). Once I have stopped bfing and lost some weight I will get to speak to a consultant who then decides if I fit NHS criteria for having this done.

Pob, you sound like a hero to me. Ignore the ignorant person who made those thoughtless and uncalled for comments.

Thanks Kiwikate

I am serious Mokola. I am not just being flippant. bf and working is a hugely difficult thing to do. It takes dedication and hard work. You are a great mum wanting the best for your child. To hell with what some negative ninny thinks! [rant over]

btw I tried bf and working (part time) and failed miserably. So I really do admire your dedication.

Pob, you are doing the very best for your baby and there is a terrible, prudish attitude to breastfeeding in this country. However, I think the publicity for breastfeeding and its benefits is beginning to permeate and you will find a lot more people are supportive of bf than not.
It's a joke that you should feel bad about doing exactly what you are supposed to do, i.e. feed your baby when it needs to be fed.
I have been breastfeeding for the past year, from day 6 (after a bumpy start) and it was difficult to begin with, but having done mixed feeding, bf is the easiest and cleanest way of feeding. Night and day.
Bf is also the most intimate way of feeding - what's wrong with that, you are supposed to be everything to your baby, how much more intimate can you get.

Ignore them. They appear somewhat ignorant and they dont walk in your shoes. I am still b/f my 29 wk old. I have no intention of winding down teh b/fding. Largely because he wants little to do with any form of solids at the moment, but im in no hurry anyway. There are as many benefits for me as there are him (no AF yet , so no associated AF hassles for a start).

I think you should ignore those ignorant people. What on earth business is it of theirs?

I'm feeding my 10 month old a couple of times in the night, as requested by him. It keeps up a good milk supply and it's still the best food going for him. Completely without rival.

God people are so annoying. Let it wash over you.
It's a great thing you're doing for you baby and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise.

Do it for as long as you both want to. Obvious really, isn't it?

i feed dd3 at night if she wakes for it. and i ignore any negative comments, tho most are very positive comments. tho have a feeling HV is gonna try and get me to switch next month if dd3 hasnt gained weight.

The ONLY thing making me consider stopping is the fact that the cheeky sausage keeps biting me. Now if his teeth come through then he will be having it out of a bottle . Will be ebm though!

My ds can sleep for 12 hours at night. Sometimes he doesn't. If he wakes and cries at any time I feed him back to sleep. I could never leave him to cry if there's any possibility he's hungry, lonely, or anything. I like to think he's smart but I don't think he's smart enough to be playing a game. I think you're doing the right thing to follow your instincts.

Weird, man. Of course it's not bad to breastfeed him at night. It's not extended breastfeeding yet at all, but I guess most people don't know that - I had no clue till I checked recently when my own lil one started biting me - ouch! My Ugandan dh asked me to carry on bfing cos they recommend it as standard in Uganda up to one year. I agreed, but if he wants it longer than that, he's really going to have to get less chewy!!

I'm doing quite a lot of milk still (Bf and formula) and not so much solids - I've been a bit worried about him not getting enough iron cos of this. Any recommendations, anyone?

I guess your son might not need bf at night but if you're happier doing that than an alternative, then why not? Ds usually sleeps through - hooray! - but I bf him if he doesn't. For me this definitely is based on my own desire to sleep but it works out well for him too! Not only does he have a better-slept less-grumpy mummy but he gets some health-enhancing breastmilk too.

Dobbin, you are so right about that! I am the same - if there is any chance that ds is hungry/ lonely/ just needs a bf to get him back to sleep then I cannot let him cry. TBH in the middle of the night (or any other time for that matter) it doesn't really matter whether I think he should be hungry or not - because a bf always settles him, whatever the problem! BF is so much more than just food after all. That's why I can't get my head round cc, because it is based on the premise that your baby is not hungry, wet, too cold, teething, etc.. How can you ever be 100% sure that your baby isn't hungry or there isn't something else wrong with him? No matter what anyone says, they don't cry for no reason. If they cry because they don't want to be left alone to go to sleep, then to me that is a valid reason, not no reason. And if a bf can fix that for ds then that is what he needs, not what he wants, and nor has he 'manipulated' me to get it! Sorry off on a tangent there, rant over! So Pob, if a bf gets your ds back to sleep then he does need it