which feed should DP do?

[nello]

My LO is 8 weeks and in 5 weeks time I have to go back to work (albeit for 6 weeks before i have the full year off), so we've been careful to start her on a bottle early to make sure she takes it. She is EBF except for my DP who has been feeding her once a day with the bottle but now we need to make it into a more structured time each day due to his work. The options are either the evening feed after her bath or a 10/11pm dream feed. There are problems with both...with the bath time feed some times this is just a very small feed depending on when her last feed was (not on a regular routine yet) so could result in her just taking an ounce or so from the bottle and waste the rest of the expressed milk (which i struggle to express so hate to see it go to waste!!), but the problem with the dream feed is that sometimes we don't manage to settle her until about 9pm at night, so i don't really like waking her at 10 or 11 when we have only just managed to get her to sleep.

Any thoughts/advice really appreciated :)

bump

Why not try and use these next few weeks to get her into a more regular daytime routine, if she will slot in to one~? This would then mean she would take a good feed after her bath and hopefully be easier to settle, meaning your DP could then do the after bath feed or a dream feed at 11ish, whichever you both wanted him to?
Try a sleep at around 9am, a sleep at around midday and a sleep around 4pm - even if she doesn't seem tired. I did this with DS and although at first I just couldn't believe it would work, it did. Even when he seemed wide awake, he would still nap at those times. Then the feeds space naturally around that and you might find her easier to feed at bedtime.
Obviously it might not be for you but just thought I would say what worked for us. I don't believe in rigid routines for babies who are crying their heads off with hunger - the routine worked for us as it made DS a very happy baby indeed, almost no crying.

I'd love to get her into a more regular daytime routine....but, she resists daytime naps. how did you settle your LO when he was very awake? thanks

I used to use a sling for daytime naps at that age.

Try to make sure she's not awake for too long between naps, as that's the main reason babies resist sleep. Most babies that age can't go more than about 1.5 hours before needing another nap. The 9am / middayish / late afternoon pattern usually develops from around 3 months in most babies.

Thanks Angeldog I am trying to work with the 1.5/2 hour wait for naps and it is fine if I do put her in the sling or pram becuase then I can actually get her to nap. If I try to put her down she won't nap. I am happy to have her on me napping, but I just feel worried about when she will be ready to take naps else where...not wanting to get her into bad habits as such. How did you find the transition from napping in the sling to eventually getting her in the cot and at what age do you think she is more likely to take a nap in her cot?

thanks.

I think it's good to have a variety of ways/places to nap - some of my friends have babies who will only sleep in their own cot in pitch blackness and it's a nightmare! I think my ds had every nap either in a sling, in my lap, or in the pram til about 4 months - then I started trying to put him in his cot after he fell asleep on me. Now at nearly 9 months sometimes he naps in his cot, sometimes in bed with me, sometimes in his buggy or on the sofa... I still mostly feed him to sleep for daytime naps but not at bedtime. I wouldn't worry too much about bad habits.

Thanks Rita. If you feed him to sleep for daytime naps, do you mean a full feed or an extra little feed just to relax him when he's tired? Today I gave DD my breast when i noticed she was tired and she took it just for 5 minutes before nodding off in bed with me.... thanks!!

I really, really wouldn't worry about bad habits. Not napping properly is a far worse habit to get into than needing to nap on someone (I speak from experience of both!) If she'll drop off some other way, just keep trying that occasionally.

The way babies can go to sleep does change too. My DS would never reliably sleep in the pushchair (half the time he'd yell and fall asleep eventually, half the time he'd just scream and keep screaming - and stay awake). But at 11 months all of a sudden he started dropping off really quickly and easily (without tears) in the pushchair, which has continued since.

I think babies are different in when they're ready to nap in a cot. DS did it from 14 weeks, but I'd rock/feed him to sleep, then put him down. I still put him down asleep now (16 months) but if I pushed it, I could probably have persuaded him to go to sleep on his own, but both he and I enjoy the cuddles too much for the time being.

I always fed DS often, including before and after every sleep, as well as any time he asked for it, so I never classed feeds as 'full' or 'top-up' type ones.

If you feed to sleep & she wakes when you put her down, then feeding her in bed is a good suggestion.

There are some suggestions for helping babies adjust to sleeping in a cot in the No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (she calls it the 'Pantley Dance').

It does get easier after 3 months too. Up till then, babies go straight into 'active' REM-type sleep for the first 15 minutes or so, which means they wake really easily. After about 3 months they go straight into a deeper sleep, so it's much easier to put them down.

HTH

It depends I think - depends on how hungry/tired he is, how recently his last feed was. Nowadays he only really breastfeeds before naps so it's hard to remember what it was like before he was on solids! Sometimes he will have both sides and is sleepy after the second one and I'll put him in his cot or pram, sometimes he's really tired and will fall asleep within seconds on the first side.

I still tend to go to bed with him for his morning nap and it's really lovely to feed and doze all cuddled up - plus, I get a nap too! He sleeps better next to me so we might get a 2 hour nap as opposed to a 45 minute nap if I put him in his cot.