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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

DS2 is breaking my heart!

10 replies

Alicious · 25/04/2011 12:49

Hi, I'm sleep deprived and rambing, so please bear with me! DS2 is 4 months and was doing really well, more or less sleeping through at 2 months, a happy, smiling baby. 10 days ago I started back at work (evenings until midnight max) in a restaurant. We really need the extra money. DP looks after the children and puts them to bed. DS2 was EBF until about a week before I went back to work-I introduced a bottle of formula at bedtime which my DP gave him (can't express) and things seemed to be going fine, he drank at least some of it and slept ok as usual.
But since I have actually started work for real he refuses the bottle, or takes it a bit then looks at my DP and bursts into tears, then refuses it. It's breaking my heart to think of him going to bed 'unsatisfied.' I BF just before leaving for work at 7.15 ish, but DS2 doesn't go to bed until around 8.30 which is when DP offers the bottle. He then wakes up at least 3 times to feed in the night, including at around 5am a sort of cluster feed which can go on for 2 hours! Then DS1 is up and once again I have hardly slept!
So, what should I be doing/trying to get DS2 to drink a bottle or sleep a bit better? I feel guilty for leaving him, guilty for not EBFing him but also so so tired from work and the holidays and the lack of sleep-any help would be gratefully received! Thank you!

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 25/04/2011 12:51

If he has a breastfeed at 7.15 then he's probably too full for a bottle at 8.30pm - why not try a dreamfeed with the bottle at 10pm without waking him up?

Alicious · 25/04/2011 12:59

That's a good idea-I'll ask DP to try that-I can barely keep my eyes open at the moment! I had thought about that but I was worried that the baby would get even more upset iykwim

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 26/04/2011 20:48

Could you change his bedtime so that he goes to bed after you feed him and before you go out. Then perhaps DP could offer the bottle when and if DS2 wakes later.

Agree with Rita that the bottle might just be too close to the feed.

Keep posting and let us know how you get on.

AngelDog · 26/04/2011 21:17

The sleeping problems are probably due to the 4 month sleep regression and may well calm down on their own. (More info here, here, here and here.) I'd try co-sleeping and going to bed seriosly early to maximise your sleep for the time being.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 26/04/2011 21:25

Angel the OP can't really go to bed early though if she is working in a Restaurant until midnight can she.

AngelDog · 26/04/2011 21:31

Oops, didn't read that bit properly - sorry! Blush

AngelDog · 26/04/2011 21:34

On reflection, I think that reverse cycling is probably contributing to the problem as well. Kellymom has some info on it here - apparently it's really common when the mother goes back to work and the baby is just starting out with the bottle.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 26/04/2011 21:38

Sorry Angel, my post was probably a bit harsher sounding than I intended. Please believe me when I say it was meant with a big fat Smile

AngelDog · 26/04/2011 21:39

No offence taken! :)

Paschaelina · 26/04/2011 21:41

One other suggestion, he's not starting to teeth is he? My son did exactly this at 16 weeks all because of sore gums.

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