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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Bf'ing my sisters baby

37 replies

Piggyleroux · 24/04/2011 12:47

My sister has a 15 week old ds whom she ebf. She was waiting for an appointment for spinal surgery (she has scoliosis) and a date has finally come through for may.

She will be in hospital for about three weeks. She doesn't want to give her ds formula because he is quite colicky and expressing will not be possible so I offered to bf her ds for her while she is out of action (her dh and ds will be staying with us while she is in hospital) she has agreed and is happy for me to do this. I am still bf my 13 mo.

Is this ok from a health perspective? Any ideas?

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 24/04/2011 12:53

So long as you don't have any diseases you could transmit to the baby through your milk (HIV, hepatitis maybe?) there shouldn't be a health issue.

What a lovely thing for you to do!

holderness · 24/04/2011 12:56

Wet Nursing is a long established practice in many cultures .
Seems a lovely way for you to bond with DN.

Original poster

Piggyleroux · 24/04/2011 12:56

Don't have any diseases afaik! Am a bit nervous tbh, quite a bit responsibility and my own ds still likes night feeding!

Oh well, hopefully it's only for a few weeks. She is a bit worried about losing her supply but is going to speak to a lactation specialist. Regular expressing will be difficult because she has to lie on her front for a while post surgery.

OP posts:

Original poster

Piggyleroux · 24/04/2011 12:58

Thanks for the link holderness

OP posts:

Greythorne · 24/04/2011 13:07

I think it is a lovely idea and I am not against it on any grounds other than.....

A mother's milk changes as a baby grows. From colostrum to first milk then ongoing the milk adapts according to baby's needs. My only question would be about your milk (for your toddler) which will not be adapted for a 15 week old.

But, having said that, it's probably still more easily assimilated than cow's milk formula.

Good luck.

narmada · 24/04/2011 13:16

BM will be way better than cow's milk if he's had a reaction before. What a nice thing for you to do.

Zimm · 24/04/2011 13:21

WOW - no advice but a lovely thing to do.

EauRouge · 24/04/2011 13:25

I don't have any tips either but I also think it's a lovely thing to do for your DSis and DN, I want to wish you luck and if possible could you report back and let us know how it's going/how it went? I'd be really curious to know (feel free to tell me to bog off).

Albrecht · 24/04/2011 13:30

Can she express a bit now for the freezer? Just so you know you have some backup. Or maybe you could express some now? Better than having to resort to formula if it proves tricky logistically.

And I would think she'd get uncomfortable if she can't express at all after the op - I was still getting hard boobs if ds went for ages between feeds at that age.

Original poster

Piggyleroux · 24/04/2011 13:38

Good idea Albrecht re expressing for freezer.

eaurouge - will report back!

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 24/04/2011 17:34

It's so lovely what you are going to do for your sister and nephew.

AFAIK the only concerns would be HIV, syphilis, hepatitis, etc as mention previously but if you have both had a baby recently and haven't had new partners or a stick injury then I can't see a problem.

Syphilis would be a concern if your sister had it as it can be transmitted to a wet nurse (historically some women got syphilis by being wet nurse to a baby from a syphlitic mother) but as that is tested for in pg now your sister would have been treated for it whilst pg.

Would your sister be able to express a few times a day just to keep supply ticking over? Would the hospital arrange for a hospital grade pump for her to use or she could hire one privately, a double one would be best and quickest.

Also, would your DN be brought in to feed from her? Have you had a trial run feeding DN just in case he won't feed from you? On the milk for 13m/o not being suitable for a baby front your milk will be fattier (11%ish vs 4%ish) than your sister's but I doubt that will have a long term effect especially if there is a few days lag between your DN starting to bf from you and your supply catching up. Have you also considered what will happen when your DSis is back home - will you express from your DN while you wind down your extra supply?

Good luck and best wishes for both your families.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 24/04/2011 17:41

try Kelly Mom

The only concern would be whether your milk would adapt for a 15 week old. I don't know.

RitaMorgan · 24/04/2011 17:45

The milk wouldn't change because it's feeding a younger baby, but as TruthSweet says the higher fat content shouldn't matter. In any case it will be better than formula.

NotQuiteCockney · 24/04/2011 17:46

I have friends who have done wet nurse babysitting. Babies do sometimes refuse to feed from a 'different' breast, iyswim.

Thinking about it, I would try it out ahead of time, maybe? If you got into trouble (if he refused to feed from you), you could try:

mimicking whatever position they mostly use
having a recording of her voice playing
wearing the same perfume/using the same washing powder (or even, wearing something of hers that smells of her)

This sort of thing might ease the transition for the baby.

Re her supply while she's in hospital. Can she feed him when he visits? (Will he be allowed to visit? TBH I would hope some hospitals would let him stay with her, although I'm guessing babycare isn't ideal after a back operation)

Is this her first breastfed baby (if so, her supply may be more delicate). Has she tried expressing already? Getting the knack of it before she goes in to hospital might be wise. Ideally, she should be trying to express as much milk as he takes, so that her supply doesn't dip. (That milk could maybe be stored and given to her DS? Particularly if you run into trouble ...)

WomblingUpsideDown · 24/04/2011 17:48

I bf my niece for a week alongside my own child. There was an age gap of four months. It worked out fine. Do be aware though how demanding the night feeds are with two. I was on my own with three children under the age of two, and no dp around. After the first night when one woke to feed I woke up the other to tandem feed.

Original poster

Piggyleroux · 24/04/2011 19:21

Thanks everyone.

truthsweet a trial run is a good idea and I will mention it to my sister. Thanks for the info re fat content as well.

notquitecockney she has to lie on her front for a week post surgery, possibly longer, so expressing isn't an option unfortunately. We could take her ds In For feeds after that, however, it is an hours trip so only once a day will be feasible, although we will stay for a couple of hours at least.

OP posts:

LittleWhiteWolf · 24/04/2011 19:25

No advice, but what a lovely sister and aunt you are. Hope your sisters surgery goes well and that you and your nephew get on brilliantly with the feeding.

ItDoesntBodenWell · 24/04/2011 19:33

Perhaps you should start expressing in advance too, to get your supply up? As the baby is going to need more than you are currently feeding your toddler I expect.

Good luck, hope her surgery goes well!

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 24/04/2011 19:34

No advice re feeding but think your sister really needs to speak to them re the face she is bf. Not feeding for that long will be very unco
fortable for her.

Good luck.

TrinityRhino · 24/04/2011 19:37

I'm so happy to see that people are doing this

I've heard so many people disgusted by this and it's so sad

I wish you all the luck in the world, you have plenty of people on here that can give you great advice

I wish youer sister a speedy recovery x

narmada · 24/04/2011 19:53

Dearie me, you would have to be super narrow-minded to be disgusted by this - surely it's the norm in many parts of the world.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 24/04/2011 19:57

This sounds like a wonderful thing for you to do for your sister and her baby, hope it all works out for you :)

TruthSweet · 24/04/2011 19:57

This might be a bit left field and am probably making myself look like a total fruit loop but when I had chiropractic care post DD1 and in early pg with DD2 I used a special therapeutic bed for the treatments that had a cut out for the bump and one for the breasts for when you laid face down. Would some thing like that be made available.

Having been hospitalised while bfing a few times I have unfortunately found that Drs often treat women lactating as a nuisance sent to scupper their treatment of you rather than treating it as a normal bodily function like breathing or urinating* which they make more than adequate provision for even if they need to intubate or catheterise you to keep doing them with out damage to the body. Your sister may need to make it clear that even if she doesn't express/feed the baby after admission her body will keep lactating for a while and if the hospital don't deal with that they may end up with a very ill patient who needs extra meds and care (speaking from personal experience here ).

*Yes, the only time I will compare lactating to urination is when we are talking about normal physiological processes that need help to achieve if you are immobilised.

BoffinMum · 24/04/2011 19:58

Definitely better than formula, the WHO recommend this wherever possible.

saturdayschild · 24/04/2011 19:59

Good on you, how lovely of you to offer and of your sis to see that is a lovely solution to the problem :)

Yes, common around the world. Babies who share a breast are sometimes called milk siblings - nice, isn't it?

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