1yo DS feeding several times a day (and night), no periods, no TTC

[schroedingersdodo]

For the last few weeks DS has been very clingy, feeding several times a day and waking up about 4 or 5 times a night (only settling with BF). I tried to night wean him when he was 10 or 11mo, and it kind of worked for a few nights. Then he had a cold, then teething, then we spent 4 days away and he got even more clingy, and now he is back to full night action (nearly every two hours).

I've tried to refuse the night feeds a few times, but he cries for over 40 minutes as if we were torturing him (despite being cuddled all the time), so I started wondering if maybe he needs the feeds, and to question if the night weaning was really necessary. It wasn't nearly as hard when I tried the same thing over a month ago. I've read about the 12 month sleep regression, maybe that's it?

The point is: if he needs the feeds I can keep doing that for a few more months, no problem (although I'm not 100% sure he really needs them). We co sleep, so it's not a huge issue for me. However, I was expecting that with the night weaning my periods might come back, and I was planning to start TTC'ing DC2 at some point in the next few months. But if things continue as they are, I don't see it happening...

Is this a DS's conspiracy to remain an only child for longer? Should I blame the lack of periods on the night feeds? Is there anything else I could do? Should I just relax and wait a few months and stop being such a control freak?

I think relax and wait a few months until ds is more ready? As you say you're co-sleeping so it's not much of a hassle for you to feed but it seems to be costing him not to feed iyswim? Plus if you're in bed together it must be difficult for him to not want to eat! (I co-sleep myself)

You are meeting his emotional needs - nursing fulfills these too and they are every bit as important as his physical needs. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

Also, have you tried the no cry sleep solution? Some good suggestions there - iirc Elizabeth Pantley started researching when her youngest was still waking every hour to feed.

Not sure about the ttc side - someone more knowledgeable will be along shortly no doubt.

My thoughts are that I would continue to let him feed for awhile longer, like you say, he has had a difficult few weeks.
As for ttc, for my own personal experience, I had my second and then third children whilst bf on demand. You never really know when your body is going to restart ovulating and so that little life might be created before you even know its possible. Don't give up hope.

Thanks for the comments, it's good to have some reassurance, as most people I know think he's just used to feed at night. Guess I'll wait a few months and then think about it.

I started reading the no-cry, but didn't get to the part of night weaning (I bought the book hoping it would help me to find a way to make DS fall asleep - he's a mighty sleep fighter). Think I'll resume the reading.

Re TTC, it may sound insane, but I wanted to try those techniques to conceive a girl this time (as I'm not sure if we will have a DC3). I know they're probably old wives' tales but wanted to give a try anyway.

Well, I said I was a control freak :) Anyway, I'll just leave it for now and focus on letting DS happy at the moment.

Agree with the others that it's probably best to put off night weaning for a bit longer. I had several attempts with ds1 and it was awful, absolutely awful and it didn't work anyway! it was true to say that he didn't need to feed through the night calorie wise, but the emotional impact was enormous when I tried to stop him. He was distraught during the night, obviously, but there were real knock on effects in his daytime behaviour too.

Somebody once said to me that if the "solution" is worse than the problem, then it's not really a solution! Too true IME

Returning fertility is different in every woman, but anaecdotaly (sp?), I didn't conceive ds2 until ds1 stopped night feeding, despite having had a regular(ish) cycle for a couple of years beforehand.

Good luck

mawbroon, love the quote about solution/problem, so true! And it didn't occur to me one could have periods and not be ovulating... One more sign that I should just leave it to luck, and DC2 will come when he/she decides, not me...

thanks!

I think he's working on the 55 week develompental spurt which is why you've got messed up sleep & more feeding. My guess would be that it calms down again after that. You can read about it in The Wonder Weeks. When my DS is working on developmental leap he usually needs bf to go to sleep.

The average age for returning fertility is 14 months apparently. Kellymom has some good info. Apparently periods returning early (before 6 months) means you're more likely to have periods without ovulation, but the later they return, the more likely you are to be ovulating once they do resume.

Mine haven't returned yet at 15 m.o. but I did have some cramping etc about a month ago which I think suggested my body's working on it.

angeldog, thanks a lot for the links, both very helpful. interesting stuff about fertility that i had no idea!