I REALLY need some advice........

[hippy3]

I have 16 day old ID twin boys, that were born at 36 weeks. I am combining beast and bottle. And also expressing milk as they have had difficulty latching on.... anyway

The smaller twin seems to struggle with being REALLY uncomfortable after feeding, We are giving him 90 mils roughly and he takes on average about 50 a time (give or take) sometimes he will take the full 90 mils.....he is 5lb 1 oz. We are feeding them every 3 hours, at the moment waking them up for feeds. I have been told that until they start to put on weight (which they have done in the last two weeks...) I am to push as much food as possible. Because they were premature I seem to be obsessed with the amount of food and weight that they need to have / put on.....

I get really upset feeding the smaller one... he really seems uncomfortable and just cant take it.... He sounds like he is in pain.(he wriggles around and makes these sounds like he is in pain) although he NEVER crys ..... but sometimes he goes purple around the mouth...which would indicate wind Ive been told....

we spend AGES winding him, and have invested in Dr Browns bottles.... but this really doesnt seem to make much difference.
My DP and I are finding it really upsetting.... What makes it worse is that his brother wakes every 3 hours, feeds like a dream and winds all within a couple of minutes...... and the smaller one is struggling.... And his brother really is quite a bit bigger.

I just wish that I could take what would appear to be his pain away everytime....
I really DO NOT want to start using any form of medication to help him like gripe water...I dont like taking anything myself....

Does anyone have any advice for me.... Its also probably new parent anxiety as well.....

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I am not an expert by any means, but have you tried smaller amounts more requently?

I have heard that the colouration round the mouth indicating wind is a total myth, although we were told it by the MW as well.

When you are winding him, are you changing the position you do it in? With DS we used to find that it was often the changing postition that brought the wind up, and not all the back patting etc.

90ml sounds like a lot for a 5lb baby - is that breastmilk or formula? For formula they are supposed to have their weight in lbs x2.5 to get the number of oz a day, so that is about 12.5oz or 360ml a day I think.

Remember their tummies are the size of a marble, so if you push loads of milk into them it'll probably be uncomfortable.

90ml is a huge amount. My 11lb baby was on 60ml, three hourly for a few days before my milk fully came in.

I have 18 month old twins and was in a similar position to you, also with very different birth weights. The bigger one was such an easy feeder, you sat him up afterwards and he would burp and be happy. The smaller one ended up having reflux and lots of feeding problems that came with it.

16 days is still young and being early he might just need a bit more time to get used to feeding. It sounds a lot like trapped wind which is what my 2 week old is really suffering from too. I've cut out dairy and it does seem to help but I also think just getting older seems to have helped things very gradually. Also winding often during a feed helps.

The best thing for us was Infacol, I know you said you don't want to give him anything but baby medicines are well tested and it was a miracle potion for us for getting wind up. Otherwise, sitting with your hands wrapped around his torso helps, lots of walking and jiggling up and down (or walking up and down stairs) and also lying at a 45 degree angle before winding.

Hope things improve soon.

hippy - lovely to have twins, but it is bound to be a real challenge with them in these early days.

Purple round the mouth is not wind - I know people will tell you it is, but it is not. Please do check this out. This myth is perpetuated, by HCPs too - any blueness/purple colouration needs taking seriously. Usually it is nothing serious at all, but it really is not wind :(

Spending ages winding is not normally needed -maybe your baby just needs cuddles and closeness and calm.

You could maybe ask again about the amounts of milk they are taking - I agree 90 mls is a massive amount for a 5 pounder. Tiny babies may need their milk little and often.

Hope you get some good help and some support with all your questions.

I'd agree that 90ml in one go is a huge amount to try with such a young, small baby. And if that's formula, I'm really not surprised it's giving him indigestion TBH.

I would try feeding more frequently during the day. If you were ebf, 2 hourly feeds during the day would be normal at that age.

My littlie was term, but 5lb 9, and I was told 30ml every 3 hrs was about right for the first few days. She's taken progressively more as the days have gone on, and now takes about 70-80ml, at 19 days old, and weighs 6lb now. 90ml sounds alot for his size.

thanks guys..I do think its a HUGE amount. But as we stayed in hospital for a week they increased the amount literally by the day.

And the MW and HV who have visited have said im to carry on as I am....???!!!! I wish to god we hadnt had to stay in hospital, and if he didnt have a twin brother I probably woudlnt be so bloody obsessed with the amount he is eating !!! My theory before theyw ere bron is that babies eat what they need when they need.....??

I have decided not to get too stressed about it. the last feed he took 50 mls breast milk...then stopped so that was it.

Thanks for reassuring me.... Just really HATE seeing him in discomfort....have decided he nedes a bit more time and reassurance as well as he is juts a it more sensitive then his brother maybe... ?

Ill ahve a chat to the HV when she visits next week.... re the amounts and maybe feed him infornt of her so she can see his discomfort.... thanks agin for the helpfull advice....

Poor little thing, I wouldn't keeping feeding him to the point of discomfort.

Instead of giving a huge amount every 3 hours, how about less more frequently? Newborn babies who aren't on schedules tend to feed a lot more often than 3 hours naturally. I would try offering 50ml every 2 hours, or even 30ml an hour, rather than wanting him to take 90ml in one go.

my dts were the same weight, but one has been a happy baby the other just needed more time, and constant holding to adjust to the world. I have no practical advice (sorry!) but wanted to say congratulations and offer some empathy on how hard it can be to care for two babies with very different needs at the same time.

Hippy, one point i'd like to pick up on.....I totally agree with TikTok. Purple or blue colouring around the mouth is not wind and should be checked out as a matter of importance.