Everyone said it would get better. It hasn't.

[malteser1981]

I really believed everyone who promised it would get better, that my gorgeous DS would start to settle inbetween feeds and I would sleep again. He is now 16weeks and still feeding for 45mins every 2-2 1/2 hrs overnight, by the time he is settled I am managing 1- 1/12hr chunks of sleep. The 'cluster' (I would call it continuous!) feeding continues from 6pm til 10pm and following that marathon of feeding he will sleep for 2-3hrs. It is driving me mad! It's worth pointing out that he feeds as frequently during the day, but it's the nights....

He is gaining weight like mad, at least 1lb often 1 1/2lb a fortnight. He was 8lb 6oz at birth and at 16 weeks was 17lb 8oz so I don't think my supply is a problem!

Has it improved for anybody at this stage, or am I destined to never ever have an evening without DS attached or some decent sleep?

The nights are likely to be influenced by the 4 month sleep 'regression' - waking every 1.5-2 hours overnight at that age is normal for many babies irrespective of how they're fed.

here, here, here and here.

Are you co-sleeping? That was what saved my sanity at that age, although my DS didn't cluster feed.

I think that cluster feeding often settles down at the point when babies' body clocks become more mature. For many, that's around 3 months, but some sleep books do say that it happens at nearer 4 or occasionally 5 months for some. When that happens, most babies stop cluster feeding and want an earlier bedtime (although there are always exceptions, of course).

Sorry, the 'here, here & here' bit should have said that they are links about the developmental stuff going on at 4 months and why many babies wake frequently at night then, irrespective of what they were doing before.

Have you tried settling him without boob or your OH settling him? Some of the ideas in 'the no-cry sleep solution' may help. As he's gaining weight so fast, he's clearly getting enough/more than enough (is he climbing centiles?) so I would try to work on developing ways of him settling that don't involve boob.

Yep Japhrimel he has gone up 2 nearly 3 centiles. Will look at the no cry sleep solution - where's the best place to start? Have tried shushing, rocking and dummies but the only way to settle him at the moment is the boob, and I'm not convinced he is even hungry half the time. Last time was a classic example. Massage and bath at 6.30pm, started feeding at 7 til 10.45pm. Then woke at 00.15, I mean all that feeding and work for 1 1/2 hrs sleep.

Loopymumsy Unfortunately co-sleeping is contraindicated due to my DH meds, and if I'm honest I don't want to banish him to the sofa for the forseeable future. I do feed lying down in bed, but as I know we shouldn't co-sleep I wake up in a panic if I drift off, not exactly restful!

Congratulations on the spectacular weight gain - it sounds like your DS is thriving, but I can understand why you're exhausted. I'm no expert, but I wonder if the feeding might calm down once DS has found his centile?

Would it be an option to get a bed rail and sleep with your DS between that and you? Then he wouldn't be next to DH. Or perhaps DH could sleep on the sofa once or twice a week, so you can cosleep and catch up on some sleep some nights?

Read the book would be my advice. It may take a little while, but you should be able to get him to go down and sleep without boob. DH can now settle our DD by himself which is amazing!

It includes some ideas for safe co-sleeping. One of them is that babies should never sleep in between the 2 adults as only a breastfeeding Mum is really safe to sleep with her baby. We're so conscious of them we wouldn't roll on them, but that's not true of anyone else, even their Dads. We got a bedside mesh rail so that I could safely have DD in between me and the edge of the bed. We don't often co-sleep now but it's nice having the option!

We used a mesh bed rail (till DS started pulling up) as I'd also read that babies should only sleep next to their mother before 18 months old. I can feed from the top breast by leaning over - best done if I've previously fed from the bottom breast or it's not very comfy!

Japhrimel - really? Your DD now goes down without the aid of boob? To be fair, I've not yet managed to finish that book (with either DS!) and though I know the most vital principle - allow your baby to fall asleep without your nipple in his mouth - I haven't really cracked on with that. Every so often I have a go, but mostly I'm lazy and in it for short-term easy life. (I fed DS1 to sleep until shortly before he was 2, though he would take a bottle from other people before then.)

OP - it usually does improve - but not all babies will improve at the same point. I second (third?) the suggestion to get a bed rail. I've coslept with DS2 since the day he was born and you really are very aware of them.

First I would wait a few days to be sure it isn't the peak of a growth spurt.

After that, my suggestion from my experience you can experiment a bit with what demand is actually hunger. With my DS one day he was upset continually for ages, not even settled by feeding... so we left him crying, listening in great tension. It was a horrible period of time (about half an hour total IIRC) but it came and went during this time, and we had read (I think in the Baby Whisperer) that crying often has three peaks before settling... and lo & behold he settled. He then slept the longest he had in his short life - about 5 hours. (My boobs were huge when he woke!).
The next evening I decided to try for the same thing without the crying, and made the bedtime feed calmer, quieter & darker than before. I think I fed lying next to him on the bed - and invested time (and boredom) in this period for a few days/weeks. This resulted in much improved nighttime sleep and it really stuck, like he managed to learn/realise that he could sleep for longer.

What is it that keeps the "cluster feed" going so long? It sounds long for this age. I remember it being hard to lay him in the cot - he would wake and fuss again & repeat the cycle. Actually feeding lying on the bed was sometimes better - less warm & cosy than in my arms/lap and therefore less of a shock to transfer to the cot.

Just a couple of different ideas about how to slowly teach him.
Good luck!

ReshapeWhileDamp - yes! TBH if I'm on my own in the evening I will sometimes cheat and try to get her to fall asleep on the boob, but even then it doesn't now always work. Most of the time she goes into her cot sleepy but awake and falls asleep there. We started DH setting her quite early on as we found it was the only way to limit the cluster feeding. To start with it took her being wheeled around in her pram for 20 minutes!

It has really helped as she usually settles herself back to sleep if she half wakes at night.