just bought first pack of formula for weaning DD1 (6 months) and feel sad - need words of support

[sanam2010]

before I had DD1 I always thought I would wean at 3 or 6 months at the latest, and now I am going back to work in 4 weeks and still haven't started weaning (in the American sense of replacing breast with formula milk).

I have been procrastinating and putting it off for quite a while, but I have just ordered my first pack of aptamil and feel sad. Am I being unreasonable? I should just get over it, right? I know it is not poison, and on top I am only partially weaning her, I will continue to feed her before and after work and even plan to express once a day at work at the beginning, so it is really just a matter of giving her one or max two formula feeds a day, and still I feel like I am letting poor DD down. Did anyone else feel like this?

Do you feel bad that you're giving her banana, or yoghurt, or pasta? After 6 months formula is just food like anything else, you aren't letting her down.

As far as I can tell Cow&Gate is identical to Aptimil in everything but price - they're owned by the same company.

Do you want to switch to FF or do you feel like you need to because of work? I only ask because I (and others) carried on. I had DD on one bottle of 3oz from 7 months and fed her at home the rest of the time. If you plan to express anyway I was able to get 6-8oz at lunch time when I was missing a feed which was enough for 2 meals. (when I was expressing in addition to feeding I couldn't get that out).

Anyway, you're doing what you think is best for you and your baby. She will still get you for comfort and food when you're at home and you don't have the stress of expressing which can really impact you.

What Penguin said.

Mine would never take bottles and wasn't very adept with cups when I returned to work at 6 months, so I expressed a little each evening for him to have during the day from a cup, but there was no point giving other milk because there was no way to get it into him. He fed a bit more at night but it wasn't the end of the world.

Whatever you feel happiest with obviously, but just in case you hadn't considered it you probably don't have to give formula at all :)

Yanbu, I was exactly the same the first time I gave mine formula.
In fact I even felt bad the first time I gave her expressed milk in a bottle!

Rita, not as bad perhaps as they are natural foods, but I do, and I give her very little in terms of solids at the moment, am doing BLW as I want to make sure her digestive system is ready (I was weaned at 3 months and fed mainly solids from that age and, coincidence or not, have always had a very sensitive stomach).
Thanks for the hint on Cow&Gate, I didn't know that.

Penguin - I would love to continue to breastfeed exclusively, but have realised it is going to be too much stress at work if I don't partially wean. Like you, I have decided to continue bf mornings, evenings and nights, but I work very long hours (will be out of the house for 13h each day on average), so I need to make sure DD is used to formula, in case I ever come home later or go on a business trip and DH needs to feed her. Also, I had frozen a good 2 months worth of daycare supply so that even if I expressed less at work DD wouldn't need formula, but bc of the lipase issue I just realised it is of no use, DD won't drink it at all. So far she is refusing bottles as well but I am teaching her and today she took a bottle of expressed milk for the first time, so I think I could replace one or two feeds per day with formula so that I only have to express once during working hours.

washnomore I guess I even agree that maybe in my situation I wouldn't need formula at all, I just somehow want to be prepared and i am worried that I will find out when I am back at my 60h per week job that we need to feed formula once in a while and she won't be ready, and I won't have time to slowly get her used to it. At least I hope that the formula pack is only a back up for emergencies, I still aim to have her get 80-90% of milk from me. So I think overall I shouldn't beat myself up over it, I am just sad because I was so sure I could make it to 1 year of EBF with the freezer stash which now turns out to be useless....

I hate that our jobs effect our decisions as parents, especially one as important as what you feed them. I agree with those hours that supplementing with formula is the very least you'll have to do in order to survive :(

If you keep the bottles to a minimum you should avoid bottle preference issues and well done on getting her to take a bottle today :) (sorry about your lipase issue as well).

However, we must do what we must in order to support our families, for me that meant going back to work at 4 months and regularly doing overtime. i hope you will have lots of help and support though to help you through. Those are long days to still have baby care on top. DH does A LOT more than me in the house, even when we're both in.

Oh I really sympathise with the lipase thing, I've just had to chuck 100oz out :(

It's really tough with long hours. I managed to wangle no OOH for my first 3 months back which took us up to 9 months by which time he had started to take more solids and could be left for longer with more confidence.

I think whatever you do you should try to shake off the guilt, because apart from anything else you just don't know how it'll all work until you go back to work. No doubt it is tough to start with but it only gets easier.