I'm ready to quit

[YogaMummy2B]

OMG I am about to be committed! DD was born by emergency section last Sunday, she was full term with no issues. I had pretty bad preeclampsia! I have barely had a wink of sleep since. Only got out on Wed and back to A&E with DD on Thursday as she had not slept from 10am Thursday morning and this was 3am Fri morning only place she calmed down was on my breast. All ok with her and we had a relatively good day Friday with a couple of hours rest between feeds. I think she fed around 15 times or more! Sat night similar, Sunday from 5pm onwards she has not been off my breast! I got about 1 hour sleep by co-sleeping with her on my boob. It is now 9.30 am and I am at my wits end. I can't even set her down to go to the loo! Husband back to work today too so I'm home alone with my feeding machine!
Please tell me this is not normal, I'm in tears with exhaustion!
To top it off she has mega bad wind all the time, so when she does come off she is in pain if I lay her on her back and screams almost instantly. Also she had diarrhoea last night and I'm not convinced her poo looks ok. Although checked it out against a poo guide and seems fine.
Please help before I am forced to formula feed for sanity sake!

It is pretty normal for little babies to be confused when they are born.
I don't think that FF is going to make your life easier. If she is windy, try Infacol and keep on co-sleeping until she settles.
I also strongly advise cranial osteopathy. Was miraculous with our DC. It does get better, promise. Can someone come to you and help?

Oh poor you, you must be shattered.

Will she sleep on someone else? Could that give you a break for an hour or so?

Hang on in there, it will get better. Cranial osteopathy helped with our DS too, you could almost see the tension releasing.

Can someone come to hold the baby for an hour whilst you get some sleep at all?

Try some infacol before she feeds, then as soon as you see her getting twitchy at the boob take her off and burp her. Try doing a figure of eight burping method here. My friend is a nurse and this is what they use on all the premmies, it really works honestly!! If it helps we had similar issues and I just had to really really really burp my DS to get his wind up. You could also try lying her on her back and cycle her legs like she's on a bicycle here.

Also with regards to the poo, sometimes newborns poo every nappy especially in the begining and BF babies are renowned for their poonammi abilities. What makes you think it was diarrhoea?

Sorry for spelling mistakes, I have a cold and am a bit bleary eyed at the moment.

Firstly, Congratulations on your DD!!!

Though you do sound shattered and probably don't want to hear it but her feeding sounds pretty normal to me.

If I were you I would gather everything you may need to get you through the day until DH gets home, quilt, drinks, biscuits, tv remote, books, breast pads, nappies, spare clothes for DD, phone, etc and make yourself a nest on the sofa. Accept that you are going to spend all day feeding and hunker down.

Your DD will be okay to cry for a minute while you pop to the loo.

Good luck, it feels overwhelming at the time but it does get easier quite quickly. Your DD is just finding her way in the world at the moment and being with you all the time helps her to do that.

Yoga can you call the community midwife and get a visit?

Things don't sound abnormal in the feeding dept - very unlikely the baby has diarrhoea but the midwife should be able to check that. If she screams when she is taken off the breast it prob means not wind but 'please let me stay next to you, near or on the breast'. This is normal for a newborn. It does not last.

Hope you get help.

Once my milk came in ds pooed at every feed, and his poo was liquid and foamy.

Can you try co-sleeping and feeding lying down? Or maybe see if the baby will settle on your DH's chest for a while so you can sleep?

Wanting to be at the breast constantly is pretty normal for a newborn - the world is an overwhelming place when you're brand new! But it does get easier - ds went from feeding 12 times a day in the first couple of weeks to 8 times a day by 6 weeks. By 6 months it was only 6 feeds, and now at 8 months it's only 4 feeds.

Just plan to do nothing but feed for the first 6 weeks Suddenly you'll find it gets so much easier.

Sorry, sounds pretty normal, though do get any health concerns checked out.

You may find she just wants to be held, not necessarily feed and if so, a sling can really help though you'll prob need someone else to have it atm. Co-sleeping is also great - if you're not comfortable doing it, then get someone to check in on you both regularly. I found this list helpful.

Have you got any family around? TBH, I'd say that 1 week post-cs is far too early to be left alone with a newborn.

Formula won't make your life easier TBH, especially if you don't have 24/7 help. It's more hassle, might make colic/wind worse and if you're the one feeding the baby, then popping them on the boob is a lot less time-consuming.

Go to bed with the baby and anything else that makes life bearable (books, magazines, laptop, tv, radio, knitting, crosswords, whatever). If you don't have something you want, ring someone and demand they bring you it (in lunch hour or after work).

Work out how to feed lying down. I found it difficult at first, but if you put the baby on a folded towel, you can pull the whole thing towards you and the baby will be slightly higher up, which might help. Pillows behind your back may also be necessary. If the baby falls asleep feeding and comes off the breast, bring your arm down and shift over slightly, so the baby is next to your arm and not your breast. It is much more comfortable to sleep like that than with your arm sticking out!

Lastly, it is fine to leave the baby screaming in a safe place while you go to the loo, make yourself something to eat, or even for a quick shower.

Hi all, thanks for the support/suggestions. Community midwife came round unexpectedly and I ended up in floods of tears to her!!
She suggested cranial osteopathy, so I have appointment booked for Monday of next week. She reckons I have a very needy baby who is thriving in every other way.
Have infacol, must remember to use it at every feed.

Also suggested that if the worst comes to worst to use a soother as long as I am sure she isn't hungry and is just on for a bit of comfort.
This is kinda against my plans but frankly would try anything right now as she is currently 20 hours without solid sleep and for me much longer!
She had a look at how she was feeding and reckoned there will be no issues with latch confusion. Anyone else have experience of this?

I used a dummy from about 3 weeks (well, tried from 3 weeks but it took a couple of weeks for him to accept it!). No problem with latch, but keep an eye on it and if things start slipping ditch the dummy. There wasn't any confusion with hunger either as ds would spit it straight out if he wanted milk. I found it particularly useful for times when I couldn't offer a boob - in the car, when he was falling asleep in buggy/sling, getting him dressed after his bath. Just try not to rely on it to quiet the baby everytime they cry without trying to find what the problem is, and keep offering the breast as much as possible.

Even with a dummy though the baby will probably want to sleep on you and as near to the breast as possible.

We used a dummy from day 1 as DD was in SCBU and they asked if they could give her one for pain relief and comfort. When we got home, it seemed silly to not use it. Just make sure you never use it if the baby could be hungry - offer boob first if you can. Like RitaMorgan I found it especially useful for when I simply couldn't nurse DD straight away. Though DD also refused to take it if she wwas properly hungry.

I wouldn't worry about whether you'll need to work at taking it away later or anything like that. DD rejected dummies at about 2 months old and now sucks her thumb!

Feeding lying down is so important IMO. I don't see how anyone copes otherwise.

FWIW, there's a lot of info on high-need babies in 'The Baby Book' by Dr William Sears and Martha Sears RN.

hi yogamummy,

Congrats and well done on how you are coping on zero sleep.

Personally i would avoid a dummy. I don't really believe in comfort sucking and at this early stage sucking is really important in establishing your supply. Though of course if it would save your sanity that's a different matter.

I second all other advice. Surround yourself with supplies and mentally prepare to hunker down for quite some time. Revel in it! (if you can!)

Newborns really need lots of physical contact. Slings (not baby carriers eg baby bjorn type) are great for proving this while you get on with life (thinking ahead).

It can be draining when a lo wants to be held all the time but you will reap the rewards when you have a securely attached happy independant child!

Keep (safely) cosleeping. It is a life saver.

I really can't see how ff would help so i say boob boob boob! It will soon settle down.

Good luck.

Don't worry about latch confusion. Here everyone desperately wants their babies to take dummies and they hold them in the child's mouth until the child gets used them. (This is to prevent thumb-sucking, which deforms your child's jaw - can you tell I have the only thumb-sucking dc in the village!) Breastfeeding rates aren't lower here than in the UK, which you would expect if dummy use really affected bfing, since they are so popular here.

However, dd would only take a dummy when she was desperate for a feed, contrary to other posters' experiences, so don't count on it to help.

Oh yes, must add, every difficult phase passes.

Really. It gets better. The beginning is incredibly hard and draining, worse than anyone imagines, but it gets better. I promise. Everyone else promises, too.

I'm crying again now, thanks all. Just brought her in to bed with me and got her to sleep by letting her suck on my breast. Hubbie came home early and has taken her out for a walk, so I'm going to sleep now for an hour!

Once you master feeding lying down and you can actually sleep a bit while she feeds, everything will get so much better I promise :) It made such a huge difference to me, I actually started to feel like I was getting a decent night's sleep.

Get a good sling and get your oh to take her for lots of walks, she'll get all the closeness and comfort she needs from being close to him, he'll get some nice time with her and you'll get some rest.

Think of all the feeding as her putting in her orders to make sure your supply meets her needs as well, and remember, it won't last. I also think it's natures way of telling you you need to stay in bed / on the sofa and not do too much!

Congratulations on your new baby :)

This sounds exactly like wht happened to me! My baby was very well behaved the first week back from hospital and then all of a sudden he became very windy and fed constantly and wouldn't settle at all. I was in tears and completely exhausted and found bf really difficult as well. I think in our case it wa dairy / egg intolerance. (im still unsure as he is only 4.5 weeks and I haven't tried re-introducing them). He is so so so so much more settled now that I have excluded them from my diet. I found infacol didn't help at all, but tried woodwards gripe water from 3.5 weeks, and that has really helped a lot. Also I put him down to sleep on his tummy and give him a back rub while I'm awake and that really helps him get rid of some of his wind.

Sorry just wanted to add everyone I spoke to told me it was just a growth spurt and it was normal but it wa clear to me that he was in pain because he would be woken up from his sleep by pain and scream. He wanted to be held and fed more for comfort than hunger. He then went onto do a marathon poo-ing session and wa a lot more settled. This pattern continued on the days I had a meal with significant dairy and/or egg which is why I excluded it. I now know my baby comfort feeds when he has wind or is tired and it isn't necessarily a growth spurt or normal behavior for him. Sorry for typos- on iPhone and feeding

I'm a new mum too and definitely relate to your difficulties

Firstly the poo thing - the midwives when we were in hospital repeatedly asked me if she had diarrhoea, which completely confused me as, apart from the first couple of days, it always looked (& still does look) really runny. This is completely normal - breast fed babies poo should be tan coloured with seedy bits and be relatively liquid. I'm not sure what their diarrhoea looks like though.

I've found that a dummy works to calm her - not when she's hungry but when she's a bit hysterical - we're only using it when we're out or if we're about to eat and she wants to feed, just so that I can have a few minutes peace or to try to calm her at night. It's not a perfect solution but otherwise she chews her hand & I don't want that to become a permanent solution in case it affects her teeth. It may help you get a bit of respite.

We've found that she gets very chilled out to the point of sleeping in the car and her buggy. Just being in the car seat seems to work, she needs to be moving for the buggy to be effective. I've been getting my DH to take her out for an hour or 2 at a time to give me some time to sleep. It maybe worth a try.

I really hope it gets easier. I'm 3 weeks in now and although I'm still finding it hard, it's definitely got better - so fingers crossed for you.

Well day 9 and things have become a little clearer. I realise now a lot of her needing to feed is a comfort thing when she has a sore tummy, which in turn must have been making her tummy more sore! jitter & knockedup sounds very much like you have been where I am, very comforting to hear from everyone, thanks again.
I too have started to restrict my diet to see if it makes a difference, currently dairy and garlic are off menu. Things seem to be getting a little easier as I learn her signals.
I have to say I am a little peeved at the breast feeding coordinator from hospital who suggested I wasn't doing anything wrong and to just feed through! No hint of a she might be comfort feeding!
DD is currently filling her boots! And them let's hope she will sleep!

They might not see anything wrong with what you term "comfort feeding" yoga mummy. After all, who would deny a 9 day old baby comfort? And as mentioned previously ALL nipple stimulation has a crucial role to play in establishing/modifying your supply. Especially at this early stage.

Hope the food exclusions work for you.

Well, it was 3 weeks before I was able to breastfeed due to (possible) tongue tie (expressed and fed via syringe) but once she latched on, my DD fed like a maniac... hours and hours and hours, day and night. My nipples were raw! Agree with advice about hunkering down with books, mags etc - BBC iPlayer was my best friend; think I managed to get through all their nature programmes (whales v relaxing while feeding with painful nipples) in a couple of days. Still BF at 6 months, and am really enjoying it - it's a beautiful thing, so glad I persisted.

PS Moved DD out of our bed at 6 weeks (with help of bossy sister) as I couldn't actually sleep, whether she was latched on or not. Found lying down BF good for the first 15min or so but DD just carried on sucking... and sucking... and sucking, until my back was in agony. So I'm not a big fan, personally. Sling was a lifesaver too... we used a Kari Me :-)

I certainly don't see anything wrong with 'comfort feeding' if that is truely what it was managing to do! I could happily sit all day long with her attached to my boob if it wasn't making her tummy sore. Now she is feeding every 2 or 3 hours with less tummy cramps and getting comfort from lying skin to skin on my chest or being held. So it seems to be working for a happier baby.
Today I have woken her for feeds. The health visitor has been out today and she is gaining weight at a very good rate.
I think changes in my diet have helped too.
It is so nice to see my baby happier and more alert after a nice sleep without tummy pain.