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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Help to stop bf when that's how I get Dd to sleep

14 replies

FlumpMum · 10/04/2011 19:58

I am going back to work in a couple of months when my Dd will be 14 months. She is bf at present - first thing in the morning then after bath for bed. Basically she is fed to sleep and then generally sleeps through til morning 6am / 7am ish. I had planned to stop bf when she was 12 months but the closer it gets the more worried I get. I have tried putting her down awake but she doesn't settle and I can't listen to her cry so I rock her to sleep if she wakes upset with wind etc. How do I stop the last bf? I assume I need to stop the am one first which I don't think she'll miss but then how long between cutting the am to cutting the pm? Do I replace the pm with a bottle of cows milk? How much should she take? She uses a cup during the day but I dont think it would be very relaxing for her. I have considered ebf but I am going to be working shifts and I've never got the hang of expressing. Any advice would be gratefully received - thanks.

OP posts:

Iggly · 10/04/2011 21:01

Well you could just carry on BF and let your DH put her to bed with a cup of milk while you go out. Perhaps switch the routine so he reads her a story while she drinks a cup then cuddle and put to bed?

DS feeds to sleep for me but is fine with a cuddle from DH and his nanny - I was worried about this when I went back to work but was fine.

breadandhoney · 10/04/2011 21:07

I think you need to get her falling asleep on her own before you stop breastfeeding her at bedtime. i would give her her feed but take her off the breast when she stops drinking (and begins just sucking for comfort) and then put her in her cot awake. a little bit of controlled crying might be needed but i think it is important that she learns to fall asleep on her own.

once you've conquered this then just replace the breast feed with a cup of milk.

i did this with DD at 7 months and it worked a treat. i would get rid of the morning breastfeed first, then the bedtime one.

hope it goes well for you. i was very nervous about it but we ended up having no problem at all.

all the best

Dilligaf81 · 10/04/2011 21:13

I had this problem although my DD is 8 months, I tried a Doidy cup and she would drink form it but not the last feed (I dont think there was much 'comfort').

I resorted to getting her to take a bottle - she was very anti this and has been refusing a bottle and dummy since birth.

I filled 2 bottles (Tommee tippee closer to nautre) with warm cows milk gave her one in her high chair then sat in front of her and drank the milk, she grabbed the bottle off me and drank it down .

I have now cut down so I only feed her first thing but I suspect I will drop this when Im back at work, I cannot believe after 8 mths she finally took the bottle.

I did express but the freezer switched off and defrosted over a months worth of milk so I got SMA follow on milk and she takes it no probs.

Good luck.

jaggythistle · 10/04/2011 21:14

hi. i work shifts too and have done exactly as described above. if i was working at bedtime, DH gave DS a cup of cow's milk, i did a Bf when i was home. (started just before he was 1 year old as i was getting fed up of expressing since going back to work when he was 6mo)

we have actually recently changed to always doing cow's milk at bedtime, he has this before teeth brushing and a story in his cot. story used to come before bf, so i was cuddling him to sleep every night.

so he just has a morning bf if I'm not on early shift and sometimes one for a nap.

he's 18mo now btw.

jaggythistle · 10/04/2011 21:18

definitely no controlled crying was required! DH cuddled him to sleep if i wasn't there and he has learned to settle fine on his own just by switching the routine. he wakes and settles on his own at night too without training.

he had the cow's milk in a bottle the first couple of times, but we moved to cups at one year old as he was only having one if i worked evenings.

Original poster

FlumpMum · 10/04/2011 23:33

Thanks for the response I have just started looking through but Dd has just woke screaming with wind :( I think it's going to be a late one so will read thoroughly tomorrow.

OP posts:

AngelDog · 10/04/2011 23:36

When I go out, DH rocks DS to sleep after having offered him milk (which he's usually completely uninterested in).

silkenladder · 11/04/2011 07:33

I still feed my 22 month old at bedtime, but she rarely falls asleep on the breast any more. I have always sung to her post-feed (whether awake or asleep) so when I'm not there DH or MIL just sing. Songs like Old Macdonald or The Wheels on the Bus are good as you can extend them for zillions of verses. Having said that, I only sing her to sleep at naptime (no feed), it takes too long at bedtime, but that has come with age, at 12 months she fell asleep much faster.

Original poster

FlumpMum · 12/04/2011 19:56

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I read alot on cc and pick up put down when Dd was a little younger but I couldn't do it. I hate hearing her cry and know it wouldnt work for me but I know it gets good results with others. I think I will get Dh to give her a bottle and see how we get on. Dh says I shouldnt try the singing suggestion because strangled cats never got anybody to sleep!! Fingers crossed all goes well - thanks again x

OP posts:

japhrimel · 12/04/2011 21:53

Loads of advice in 'the no-cry sleep solution'. Breaking the suck-to-sleep association without tears is a big theme of the book.

Iggly · 13/04/2011 06:35

As she gets older she's less likely to fall asleep on the boob - DS is 18 months and never does at bedtime anymore unless he's exhausted! Usually he'll feed then into the cot and I leave the room, he chats and drifts off alone. So things do change.

Iggly · 13/04/2011 06:37

Meant to say - I didn't do anything to encourage it (believe me I tried when he was younger but gave up as he always wanted to go back to sleeping on the boob, so I let him)

bonkers20 · 13/04/2011 06:53

I think what Iggly suggests will work for you, really I do.
Would you like to continue BF?
Many, many BF babies "learn" that when Mum's around they can BF, otherwise someone else is settling them. This works for children in nursery care, or for children whose Mum is not at home at bed time.

If this is something you'd like to try then I'd have a few practices with DH settling your DD to bed so that you can go back to work knowing she'll be fine.

I agree, at 14 months you really don't want to be faffing with EBM. How is your supply in general? Do you think it will cope with fluxtuations in gaps between BF? You might get a bit full now and again but I think it could be fine.

Original poster

FlumpMum · 15/04/2011 19:39

will definitely have a look at the no cry book - we're going on holiday at the end of the month so planned to stop the am bf when we got home then a week later stop the pm one. I think she is ready to drop the am one too much going on so she usually feeds on all fours! Highly amusing initially now just annoying!! The pm one is just for comfort I think? I give her 30 mins each side but she isn't feeding the whole time. I dont rush her it's our quiet time! I can see changes all the time with her feeding / sleeping so I hope it will go ok. DH already warned he will be doing the first few nights. I've got 6 weeks before I go back to work so hopefully plenty of time. Did consider ebf but to be honest I can't wait to wear a proper bra again and although I have really grown to enjoy it and know I will miss it we're going to start trying for a second DC soon so I would like my body back however temporarily!

OP posts:

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